Re: blocked tubes / adoption

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

I wish you lots of luck with your adoption. I know for me it doesn not

take away the emptiness of not being to have my own children and being

able to be pregnant, but it gives me hope and I'm hoping that I will

feel differently after I have a baby to love. I have friends who have

adopted and who now handle their own infertility much better. I don't

think the pain ever goes away. I just hope it hurts less.

What did you doctor tell you prior to your second surgery? Was your

uterus completely stuck together after the first surgery or did you have

some sort of cavity?

Best of Luck.

Jody

driessen wrote:

>

> Janet,

>

> In regards to tubes being blocked, my tubes were both blocked (the

> entrances to them) due to the scar tissue inside my uterus closing them

> off. After my 2nd surgery, one entrance was able to be " opened " . Through

> surgery this is possible (hystero/lap). But like someone else stated, if

> it doesn't work, but your uterus is open and lining is somewhat thick, you

> can have IVF - so there is hope.

>

> As for me at the moment, I'm scheduled to have an HSG on Sept.15 - finally!

> Just to see what things look like inside of me. I'm hoping for a happy

> surprise, but am not too optimistic about this possibility (as I still have

> had NO periods after 2 surgeries). My dr. has offered to try the

> endometrial scoring (like you had in England Polly!!!) He's never done it

> before however so I'd be his guiny (sp?) pig if I'd like; or else he'd

> consider the INTERCEED, or doing nothing - he's kindof leaving it up to me.

> I'm leaning towards the " doing nothing " as long as not having periods for

> the rest of my life isn't in some way " bad " for me. I certainly don't mind

> saving the money in tampons. Of course I'd love to have more of my own

> biol. children, but I'm starting to believe maybe there really is a reason

> that this is happening to me. So, I've started the int'l adoption process

> (have submitted my paperwork to INS- immigration, and had my homestudy

> completed), so I am slowly on my way to adopting a little child from an

> orphanage in Kazakhstan (part of the old Soviet Union; between Russia and

> China). I'm hoping to have a baby sometime by next summer - keep your

> fingers crossed for me!

>

> Take care everyone.

>

> Debbie

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Janet,

When I first started looking at adoption, I went on-line under

adoption and looked up the agencies in my State. I believe but I'm not

sure that if you go through an adoption agency then you need to pick one

within your state. There were a lot of agencies listed under NJ. I

called and had information sent to me.

I then just started mentioning what we were thinking of doing to my

close friends. I happen to have one good friend who has adopted two

children from Korea. She used an agency called Holt International. I

also had friends of friends who adopted pretty quickly domestically

through private attorney's. My friend who went over seas got her

children when they were about 6 months old. They are precious. She

said you need to be careful what country you choose as some countries

place children in foster homes and others place children in institutions

prior to adoption. It all depends on what you are looking for. Also,

she told me that she has heard that Russia may be changing their policy

on over seas adoption so it may be a good idea to stay away from Russia

until they sort it out. Please try to verify this elsewhere before you

rule their country out. However, do be careful because you don't want

to get half way through the process and have it fall apart.

With regard to cost, my friend who went overseas said that the costs are

similar. My attorney gave me a quote of $10,000 to $20,000 depending on

the circumstances and the needs of the mother. I'm not exactly sure of

the cost of international adoption but my friend said domestic was not

as expensive as she had thought.

As I said before, we went with domestic on the recommendation of an

attorney by a friend with success and because it was so easy to get

started. You have an homestudy, prepare a resume with pictures and a

story of your family, pull together some other documents and then run

ads in newspapers of 5-7 states for two weeks. You then establish a

relationship with the birthmother through an 800 number in your house.

You have access to their medical records and may even be asked to meet

them prior to the adoption. Its all very open and I'm sure it will be

very trying as it will be easy to get attached to the mother and her

life. You have to be careful that they are not out for money. Each

state has its own laws about how much you can pay for the birth mother

in living expenses. You try to let the attorney make the decisions on

what to give and try to pay directly to landlord or utility but not just

give cash to the mother. She said the mothers change their minds about

10-15% of the time. That number was lower than I expected. It may even

be lower through an agency.

Good luck with all of this. It makes you feel empowered to be doing

something positive that you can take control of. It doesn't mean you

have to give up all hope of having your own children to explore other

options.

Jody

mjkdowd@... wrote:

>

> --- Debbie,, thank you for your responses... CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE

> ME MORE INFO ON TEH INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION PROCESS... MAYBE THE

> AGENCY OR NUMBER OR SOMETHING AS I AM REALLY STARTING TO HTINK ABOUT

> IT ALSO.. IS IT QUICKER THAN DOMESTIC? WHAT ABOUT THE COST? COMPARED

> TO DOMESTIC? I KNOW THERE IS SOMEONE IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD WHO AHS A

> BEAUTIFUL LITTLE ADOPTED RUSSIA GIRL.. I DON'T KNOW HER ENOUGH TO ASK

> HER ?'S THOUGH.. THANKS FOR ANY INFO YOU GIVE ME AND GOOD LUCK WITH

> YOUR HSG AND LET US KNOW HOW IT GOES... JANET In

> Ashermansegroups, driessen <driessen@k...> wrote:

> > Janet,

> >

> > In regards to tubes being blocked, my tubes were both blocked (the

> > entrances to them) due to the scar tissue inside my uterus closing

> them

> > off. After my 2nd surgery, one entrance was able to be " opened " .

> Through

> > surgery this is possible (hystero/lap). But like someone else

> stated, if

> > it doesn't work, but your uterus is open and lining is somewhat

> thick, you

> > can have IVF - so there is hope.

> >

> > As for me at the moment, I'm scheduled to have an HSG on Sept.15 -

> finally!

> > Just to see what things look like inside of me. I'm hoping for a

> happy

> > surprise, but am not too optimistic about this possibility (as I

> still have

> > had NO periods after 2 surgeries). My dr. has offered to try the

> > endometrial scoring (like you had in England Polly!!!) He's never

> done it

> > before however so I'd be his guiny (sp?) pig if I'd like; or else

> he'd

> > consider the INTERCEED, or doing nothing - he's kindof leaving it

> up to me.

> > I'm leaning towards the " doing nothing " as long as not having

> periods for

> > the rest of my life isn't in some way " bad " for me. I certainly

> don't mind

> > saving the money in tampons. Of course I'd love to have more of my

> own

> > biol. children, but I'm starting to believe maybe there really is a

> reason

> > that this is happening to me. So, I've started the int'l adoption

> process

> > (have submitted my paperwork to INS- immigration, and had my

> homestudy

> > completed), so I am slowly on my way to adopting a little child

> from an

> > orphanage in Kazakhstan (part of the old Soviet Union; between

> Russia and

> > China). I'm hoping to have a baby sometime by next summer - keep

> your

> > fingers crossed for me!

> >

> > Take care everyone.

> >

> > Debbie

>

>

>

>