Re: Just letting some air out

[Guest guest]

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Hi Monkeygirl,

I empathize with you. I, too, was forced to engage in demeaning exercises

and self-betrayal as part of coerced " treatment " , although " non-compliance " in

my case would have resulted in job loss (and forfeiture of 17 years toward a

pension) rather than prison. A lot of well-meaning people have said, " It's over

now, put it behind you " and it's hard for them to understand the anger and shame

I feel at the self-betrayal. I'm doing what I can to change company policy;

preventing this from happening to others will provide a measure of healing.

What state do you live in? In many states, coerced 12-step participation

has already been ruled unconstitutional. You may be able to sue for damages.

~Rita

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>I am just scratching the surface of how angry I am.

>When I was in a treatment facility last November,

>part of the required 12 step treatment was the reading of my moral inventory to

a pastor. I told my counselor I was uncomfortable with doing this

>and she said she would check into it. But as I was there under court order I

was unsure of how forceful to be about this. Non compliance of treatment meant

jail for me. I did the required session with the pastor. Relief-hah!

>More like increased shame and anger at myself for even stepping out of jail

>and into rehab.

>The bright side-I don't have to buy into the baloney any longer!

>

>

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[Guest guest]

Hi Monkeygirl;

You're more forgiving than I am, I'd have felt like mailing them a

bomb. I wouldn't do it, but I would have felt like it!

I know about being on parole. I was voluntary in a treatment center

while I was on parole and they were talking about me maybe going

back to prison.

I told them " Surprise, but you don't have the authority " They

discharged me two days later. Said I was incorrigible and would

die drunk. One of the ladies(Ahem) who said that has been drunk

a few years now, the other it was discovered had never drank, but

learned the AA jargon from an ex-husband and posed as a sober

alcoholic to get the job. I had graduated from high school with her

and had never known her to drink, but was unaware at first that she

was posing as an ex-drunk. Since I had known her for many years

she had to get me out of there. I didn't figure it out till I was ready

to leave and someone mentioned her as an alcoholic and I laughed.

Her thing had been uppers and downers of a different variety. Now

days a drug is a drug would be the explanation.

The tricks and gimmicks AA folks use are limitless. However, I

discovered something after I left AA. If I don't drink anything with

alcohol in it I don't get drunk. So I quit drinking stuff that had

alcohol in it and haven't been drunk since.

I found out I could make that decision and carry through with it.

Nothing mystical or super natural about it, just decision and action,

or in some cases, lack of action.

You are among allies

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