Re: Looking for advice/n

[Guest guest]

n, I appreciate the fact that you posted and shared your opinion. However, your response to my request came across harsh. In fact, in my post I mentioned that I appreciated advice but not judgement. I certainly don't feel by your post that you respected that request. There are many people in this group with different lives and choices in their lives. We are starting our eighth year home schooling. He his involved in many outside activities: he's a black belt, he's involved in boy scouts, he is in guitar, piano and a leader in ministry at our church. He has started his own lawn mowing business inour neighborhood, all on his own. He's been tested at 3 grade levels higher. I don't know what you feel makes a "mature life" out in the world. I know that our son is in the "real" world and more mature than most children his age. He's also not pressured to let

go of his childhood prematurely. He's just a normal 12 year old that has two members of his family sick. Also, even if I sent him to school - he still lives in a home with his brother and me. He's not the one caring for our son - he just lives here and sometimes needs to take out the trash a little more or help out with dinner dishes more. He's certainly not my son's and my primary care giver. I am functioning well enough to take care of my children - it doesn't matter if it is 24 hours a day or 16 hours a day. I think in the end as an adult he will be much more prepared for the surprises of life that come up for everyone and he won't be ill-prepared to handle them - also I think (hope) that he'll be a more sensitive adult. When I mentioned that he was getting a little rough - I meant that he is rough-housing a little too much with our other son. It's difficult for him

to remember that his brother has health issues. My son with Guillian-Barre is like us with MS - he looks normal. So I was looking for advice on how to teach him about a disease that is unseen. Honestly, your post was very offensive to me. I was approaching a forum that I thought was safe and I divulged information about our family not for criticism but for further understanding. I know that there have been other posts about people that have received a much more sensitive response than what you gave me. I simply was looking for advice or direction to support groups for children and family members. I thought some people might have advice as to how they have handled this with their children and teens. I never asked for educational choice advice. We're pretty solid on that ourselves. I am not trying to offend you but honestly, I

was offended. n Rojas wrote: How about sending the 12-year-old to public school. thus relieving the child of some of the pressures of coping with aan ill younger sibling, and having more of a "mature" life "out in the world. . . Just a thought, love, n Looking for advice Hi Everyone,Our family is in need of some help. We have three children, 12, 10 and 21 months. Our son who is 10 was diagnosed with Guillian-barre this year and of course I have MS. Well, it has really come to my attention that we are all in our own ways struggling to deal with this. My 10 year old is in depression (I think somewhat

from his neurontin, he's up to 3300 mg/day + topamax + carnitine). Our 12 year old who is wonderful is getting a little rough with our other son - which is now starting to lead my husband and I to think that he may be acting out a little. And of course, we are all dealing with a toddler. I know it is hard on my husband as well. He's our sole provider here and he hasn't ever joined in any support group for care-givers of those with MS. We've kinda been in denial I think over the past 15 years. Those of you who have read some of my posts know my situation about not having a confirmed diagnosis for 12 years and so on. So he's working on dealing with that and then to add to it his son now having something almost identical to me.Our older son is now entering jr high years and almost a teenager and that's a lot on it's own to deal with - but add the confusion of me and his brother sick and the attention we end up

getting from being sick. Add to this that he has a moderate stuttering problem that we now will be starting speech therapy twice a week. We homeschool and are very open with our children and we all talk a lot. But I am thinking we might need some help as a family in dealing with how to cope and manage.I don't want anyone in our family to feel lost or less important or not know how to express their feelings.Any advice as to what we should do or any recommendations to support groups that would include children.I love my entire family so much and I know that God allowed these situations in our lives for a reason - but I also know He doesn't want us to struggle in confusion. Any advice would be appreciated (advice and encouragement but please no judgement). Thanks No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG

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[Guest guest]

,

n has NEVER said anything here with intent to offend or hurt. I am sorry you are going through so much, but I think you may have taken her post the wrong way. n is one of the most uplifting, caring people here. I could hear the anger in your post, and I don't think it's fair. You could have asked what she meant in her post, before posting.

I am a homeschooling parent, and sometimes hear negative comments. Maybe you've heard your fair share of them too, and thought that her post was like some of those comments. I don't see anything offensive in her post, even though I think he's in the best environment at home. n makes a big effort to reply to as many of other people's posts as she can. You need to get to know her, then you'll see that there's not a mean bone in her body. Take care, Trista

Looking for advice

Hi Everyone,Our family is in need of some help. We have three children, 12, 10 and 21 months. Our son who is 10 was diagnosed with Guillian-barre this year and of course I have MS. Well, it has really come to my attention that we are all in our own ways struggling to deal with this. My 10 year old is in depression (I think somewhat from his neurontin, he's up to 3300 mg/day + topamax + carnitine). Our 12 year old who is wonderful is getting a little rough with our other son - which is now starting to lead my husband and I to think that he may be acting out a little. And of course, we are all dealing with a toddler. I know it is hard on my husband as well. He's our sole provider here and he hasn't ever joined in any support group for care-givers of those with MS. We've kinda been in denial I think over the past 15 years. Those of you who have read some of my posts know my situation about not having a confirmed diagnosis for 12 years and so on. So he's working on dealing with that and then to add to it his son now having something almost identical to me.Our older son is now entering jr high years and almost a teenager and that's a lot on it's own to deal with - but add the confusion of me and his brother sick and the attention we end up getting from being sick. Add to this that he has a moderate stuttering problem that we now will be starting speech therapy twice a week. We homeschool and are very open with our children and we all talk a lot. But I am thinking we might need some help as a family in dealing with how to cope and manage.I don't want anyone in our family to feel lost or less important or not know how to express their feelings.Any advice as to what we should do or any recommendations to support groups that would include children.I love my entire family so much and I know that God allowed these situations in our lives for a reason - but I also know He doesn't want us to struggle in confusion. Any advice would be appreciated (advice and encouragement but please no judgement). Thanks

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[Guest guest]

, I am so very sorry; it was all that I could think of, and was merely a suggestion, not ADVICE. You have every right to teach your

children--all of them--at home. I have never had a response like this to

one of my posts, so please just let me apologise and hope that no one

else on the list found my response offensive. Of course, I regret greatly

that you were offended, but did not myself INTEND to give ADVICE, just

an idea. I do apologise! Love, n Rojas

Looking for advice

Hi Everyone,Our family is in need of some help. We have three children, 12, 10 and 21 months. Our son who is 10 was diagnosed with Guillian-barre this year and of course I have MS. Well, it has really come to my attention that we are all in our own ways struggling to deal with this. My 10 year old is in depression (I think somewhat from his neurontin, he's up to 3300 mg/day + topamax + carnitine). Our 12 year old who is wonderful is getting a little rough with our other son - which is now starting to lead my husband and I to think that he may be acting out a little. And of course, we are all dealing with a toddler. I know it is hard on my husband as well. He's our sole provider here and he hasn't ever joined in any support group for care-givers of those with MS. We've kinda been in denial I think over the past 15 years. Those of you who have read some of my posts know my situation about not having a confirmed diagnosis for 12 years and so on. So he's working on dealing with that and then to add to it his son now having something almost identical to me.Our older son is now entering jr high years and almost a teenager and that's a lot on it's own to deal with - but add the confusion of me and his brother sick and the attention we end up getting from being sick. Add to this that he has a moderate stuttering problem that we now will be starting speech therapy twice a week. We homeschool and are very open with our children and we all talk a lot. But I am thinking we might need some help as a family in dealing with how to cope and manage.I don't want anyone in our family to feel lost or less important or not know how to express their feelings.Any advice as to what we should do or any recommendations to support groups that would include children.I love my entire family so much and I know that God allowed these situations in our lives for a reason - but I also know He doesn't want us to struggle in confusion. Any advice would be appreciated (advice and encouragement but please no judgement). Thanks

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[Guest guest]

I didn't see n's post as harsh. n was not a homeschooler, as far as I know. You and I both know that homeschooling is a different outlook on life as well as a different way of educating our children. I don't think homeschoolers can expect non-homeschoolers to answer in the way a homeschooler would. That's why I posted to you after n had posted. I don't think n is judgmental about homeschooling. She has never said anything that seemed judgmental to me. I am very sorry you are offended and I hope you change your mind after some reflection. n is a wonderful person and a valued member of the group. She's become a dear friend to many of us here on the group and I know she didn't mean to offend you. She would never do that.

Never! hugs)) Sharon (MSersLife Group Owner/Creator) It's not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line. ~Ashleigh Brilliant Looking for advice Hi Everyone,Our family is in need of some help. We have three children, 12, 10 and 21 months. Our son who is 10 was diagnosed with Guillian-barre this year and of course I have MS. Well, it has really come to my attention that we are all in our

own ways struggling to deal with this. My 10 year old is in depression (I think somewhat from his neurontin, he's up to 3300 mg/day + topamax + carnitine). Our 12 year old who is wonderful is getting a little rough with our other son - which is now starting to lead my husband and I to think that he may be acting out a little. And of course, we are all dealing with a toddler. I know it is hard on my husband as well. He's our sole provider here and he hasn't ever joined in any support group for care-givers of those with MS. We've kinda been in denial I think over the past 15 years. Those of you who have read some of my posts know my situation about not having a confirmed diagnosis for 12 years and so on. So he's working on dealing with that and then to add to it his son now having something almost identical to me.Our older son is now entering jr high years and almost a teenager and that's a lot on it's own to deal

with - but add the confusion of me and his brother sick and the attention we end up getting from being sick. Add to this that he has a moderate stuttering problem that we now will be starting speech therapy twice a week. We homeschool and are very open with our children and we all talk a lot. But I am thinking we might need some help as a family in dealing with how to cope and manage.I don't want anyone in our family to feel lost or less important or not know how to express their feelings.Any advice as to what we should do or any recommendations to support groups that would include children.I love my entire family so much and I know that God allowed these situations in our lives for a reason - but I also know He doesn't want us to struggle in confusion. Any advice would be appreciated (advice and encouragement but please no judgement). Thanks No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.Version: 7.1.406 / Virus Database: 268.12.4/448 - Release Date: 9/14/2006 Stay in the know. Pulse on the new Yahoo.com. Check it out.

[Guest guest]

I didn't see n's post as harsh. n was not a homeschooler, as far as I know. You and I both know that homeschooling is a different outlook on life as well as a different way of educating our children. I don't think homeschoolers can expect non-homeschoolers to answer in the way a homeschooler would. That's why I posted to you after n had posted. I don't think n is judgmental about homeschooling. She has never said anything that seemed judgmental to me. I am very sorry you are offended and I hope you change your mind after some reflection. n is a wonderful person and a valued member of the group. She's become a dear friend to many of us here on the group and I know she didn't mean to offend you. She would never do that.

Never! hugs)) Sharon (MSersLife Group Owner/Creator) It's not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line. ~Ashleigh Brilliant Looking for advice Hi Everyone,Our family is in need of some help. We have three children, 12, 10 and 21 months. Our son who is 10 was diagnosed with Guillian-barre this year and of course I have MS. Well, it has really come to my attention that we are all in our

own ways struggling to deal with this. My 10 year old is in depression (I think somewhat from his neurontin, he's up to 3300 mg/day + topamax + carnitine). Our 12 year old who is wonderful is getting a little rough with our other son - which is now starting to lead my husband and I to think that he may be acting out a little. And of course, we are all dealing with a toddler. I know it is hard on my husband as well. He's our sole provider here and he hasn't ever joined in any support group for care-givers of those with MS. We've kinda been in denial I think over the past 15 years. Those of you who have read some of my posts know my situation about not having a confirmed diagnosis for 12 years and so on. So he's working on dealing with that and then to add to it his son now having something almost identical to me.Our older son is now entering jr high years and almost a teenager and that's a lot on it's own to deal

with - but add the confusion of me and his brother sick and the attention we end up getting from being sick. Add to this that he has a moderate stuttering problem that we now will be starting speech therapy twice a week. We homeschool and are very open with our children and we all talk a lot. But I am thinking we might need some help as a family in dealing with how to cope and manage.I don't want anyone in our family to feel lost or less important or not know how to express their feelings.Any advice as to what we should do or any recommendations to support groups that would include children.I love my entire family so much and I know that God allowed these situations in our lives for a reason - but I also know He doesn't want us to struggle in confusion. Any advice would be appreciated (advice and encouragement but please no judgement). Thanks No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.Version: 7.1.406 / Virus Database: 268.12.4/448 - Release Date: 9/14/2006 Stay in the know. Pulse on the new Yahoo.com. Check it out.