guilt

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I've had vv since I was 17, before my first sexual experience. Since

I had no diagnosis until my early 30's other than " must be a

psychological problem " I didn't tell anyone, so I had a guilty

secret. Most of the time I only had pain on contact, which was

bearable because I enjoyed everything else about sex and did my best

to make sure the hard part was over quickly. I've often thought I

would be a premature ejaculator's dream. I had a major flare soon

after my first marriage which made me unable to have sex, and my

husband didn't understand that, yes, it really did hurt, and no, the

doctors don't find anything wrong with me. I didn't tell my second

husband either, even though he is an understanding kind of guy,

aminly out of guilt and fear of him knowing how flawed I really

was. Another major flare forced me to confess, and I got a diagnosis

during that time. My husband though upset that I had never told him

before, has been totally supportive and has never pressed me to do

anything that hurts, though I often did out of guilt at depriving

him. We've finally given it up, mainly because I started to

tear at 6 o'clock everytime and just can't handle it anymore. He's

been wonderful and we haven't had intercourse for years. I still

feel bad about it because that's what he really likes. I'm hoping

using estrace for a while will strenghten the skin back there and

I'll try it again.

Sorry to go on so long. The point is, I don't feel guilty anymore

because it's really not my fault and my partner accepts me. I know

others may not be so lucky to have an understanding partner, but it's

still not your fault.

D.