bottoming out B.S.

[Guest guest]

Found this in a book called " The Female Ego- the hidden power women

possess but are afraid to use " by Price.(Hey guys! Don't start

with me- I don't KNOW why " female " - I don't make up these titles I just

report the facts! Translate like women do all the time).

" Hitting Bottom

I have never agreed with the " hitting bottom " theory, which is often

used in talking about problems of addiction and of which many

therapists have their own version. According to this theory, a person

needs to hit bottom because at that point, the only way to go is up.

If the person does not want to change, she is not miserable enough; she

has to hurt badly. If this were true, it would be one way of

rationalizing why upbeat suggestions do not help a woman who is stuck;

she needs more pain in order to hit bottom.

I feel compelled to " yes,but " the hit-bottom theory. I have found

that people learn how to numb themselves to pain. A woman develops a

high tolerance for misery so that she can be suffering but barely knows

it. Pain loses its potency to ignite change in deeply miserable people.

Unfortunately, this gets everyone who contributes to that woman's

misery off the hook. It is easy to overlook a stuck person.

The Power of Pleasure

I have a different theory, and I know that it can work. This is the

Garden of Eden Theory. A miserable, stuck person needs to visit the

Garden of Eden so as to find out what it is like to feel good. Once you

have visited the Garden and partaken of pleasure, you realize how

miserable you are in your regular life. This creates a double-whammy

effect. You know from experience that (1)it is possible to feel good

and (2)your misery feels miserable in comparison. At once you can

experience hope and a sense of your excruciating situation. IT IS A

COMBINATION OF DISCOMFORT AND HOPE THAT CREATES A CLIMATE FOR CHANGE.

The ego needs contrast in order to have clear perception. When you

are in a rut, your ego is out of touch with the options that are

available to fill your needs. We need contrast in order to see clearly

who we are and how we are living. To be effective, that contrasting

experience should be one that shows us something better than our normal

living patterns. Here are some examples of visiting the Garden of Eden.

Invent one for yourself.

- an overfed, overstimulated executive goes camping, to experience

natural living close to the earth.

- an isolated housewife puts together a glamorous outfit and takes

a weekly class in the city.

- a businesswoman puts her briefcase in the closet, puts on her

apron, and bakes cookies without worrying about time.

When you give yourself a gift that you need, even a small token, you

will begin to develop consciousness and awareness. When you begin to

give yourself positive nurturing, you will also begin the process of

creative discontent, which is what waking up is all about. "

(by Price)

Kim

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