mandatory aa meetings

[Guest guest]

hello people, i just got home from an aa meeting. i have to attend at least

two per week to satisfy the court. i attend smart meetings when i can-that

is when it fits my schedule. i used to feel quite uncomfortable at aa

meetings. i was afraid that they would call on me to speak. then, i might

have to say what's really on my mind. this would put me at odds with the

majority and invite intervention or patronization or worse ostricization. i

have to go to meetings for two years and i don't wish to make things anymore

difficult for myself than they have to be. for a while i stopped going

altogether. i even forged initials on my treatment slip. however, i just

didn't feel right about doing that. i don't want to be found to be in

noncompliance of the court agreement. alas, i found a meeting that i can

tolerate. i can walk in late, catch the last twenty minutes and still get my

slip signed. in the meantime, i sit quietly by myself and read " the truth

about addiction and recovery " by stanton peele and archie brodsky. this is

a big meeting. noone there knows me or

wishes to engage me in conversation. i like that. also, there are a lot of

distractions, such as cross talk and people coming in and out of the

meeting. this is not the kind of meeting that groupers would refer to as " a

good meeting " . they don't say, " there's a lot of good sobriety at that

meeting " . i like this also. i listen to them speak and in my mind i quietly

challenge much of what is said. i don't want what they have and i'm not

willing to subscribe to many of their irrational beliefs to get it. this is

the mode i've chosen. if any of you can think of a more ethical or rational

solutions to my dilemma let me know. eddy current

_______________________________________________________________

Get Free Email and Do More On The Web. Visit http://www.msn.com