More misc. psych stuff

[Guest guest]

Hi all -

, I didn't mean to negate your need for inner child therapy. It sounds

like you have a MPD with 3 different personalities. I am very familiar with

this - it also is similar to borderline personality disorder. I used to work

as an R.N. in a psychiatric hospital. I worked on an eating disorders unit,

where the majority of patients were females that were abused horribly as

children.

What I was referring to is MY OWN personal 'inner child' work with 12 step

therapists. It seems they are always trying to 'hunt' down something nasty

that happened in the 'woodshed' when I was a kid. I had a very loving

father and grandmother. My mother was somewhat emotionally abusive, but she

also expressed quite a bit of affection towards me. It pisses me off when

therapists keep prodding me to find some signs of sexual abuse or physical

abuse. My parents NEVER spanked me. My father was always very rational

when it came to disiplining me. My mother wacked me a couple times across

my face, but it isn't a major horrifying memory when I think back to that.

As far as spirituality is concerned, I have kind of wrote my own book on

what works for me. Connecting with nature and studying the cosmos gives me

more of a spiritual connection than any type of religion. I guess the

things that make the most sense to me are Native American spiritually

beliefs and Buddism. I have composed a document of what and how I want

things to be done in regards to my death. I specified NO CHRISTIAN RITUALS.

I grew up in Northern Minnesota. My father and myself spent alot of time

hiking in the woods and canoeing. I want to be cremated and have my remains

placed in a river that my father and myself used to canoe in.

As far as the MI dianosis'es in my family - they seem very genetic. Both

sides of my family have histories of depression, anxiety/panic disorders,

schizophrenia and heavy alcohol use. I believe this has attributed more to

my own problems with MI/CD but I have been in two rigidly defined

organizations - the military and AA. My panic attacks started in the

military. My depression was set off by my mother making a suicide attempt

and my reaction to this event...using alot of booze and having

uncontrollable fits of crying. I admitted my alcohol and depression about

my mother to my nursing supervisor. I was forced to go to treatment by the

hospital I worked for. I felt so misunderstood. I was drinking because I

was so depressed. But in treatment they kept harping away at how all my

problems who magically 'disappear' if I quit drinking. I felt this was a

VERY DEEP PILE OF CA-CA. The therapy that has helped me the best is CBT or

RET. It makes more sense to me than doing what I perceive as " ritualistic,

mystical " acts, like praying, chanting, etc.

Well, this is getting pretty lengthy. I could write a book. But what I

believe my " abusive " past is related to is subjection to the rigid confines

of the military and 12 step treatment. I don't like my family being targeted

as a " scapegoat " by 12 steppers, professional or not.

~Trixxi