lying

[Guest guest]

That makes a lot of sense. I get you point. thanks again

Roxanna <madideas@...> wrote: I don't know about that

particular child. In general, I would not even ask a child if she is lying when

I know she's lying. I would state the obvious - " You did this. Now we need to

clean it up. This is what I want you to do. " Then I would make sure she did it,

if hand over hand was required as well. If it was a big mess or say she broke a

glass, I would help her clean it up but would want her to participate depending

on her age.

I'm not a psychologist but I would think kids lie to protect themselves from

punishment or to get attention. Even negative attention is worth working for to

some kids at some times. I imagine if you did something awful and your parents

still didn't give you any attention, then you'd have to keep upping the ante,

wouldn't you. I mean, parents who have no reaction and no rules tend to have

checked out in the parenting department. Getting upset, correcting her, all of

these things take effort but they show her that she matters and that they care

about her and how she is growing up. Not doing so sends the opposite message,

IMO. It's probably also a viscious cycle after a while - the more she lies, the

more they check out, the more she lies.

Roxanna

Re: ( ) Re:Lying

That's so strange as my son Jake never lies. You can always ask him

something and expect the truth. He couldn't lie to save his life!

My daughter (non-Aspie) is 4 and lies about everything. We are having such

a problem with it.

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[Guest guest]

That makes sense to me too. My 7 yo NT daughterstarted doing everything -

lying, failing grades, etc to get our attention. I had tried to explain the

best I could to her that her brother needed some extra attention and I would

like for her to help as well. Not pushing her aside - but you get the point.

I set up special times for her where we would go do something she wanted -

without her brother. She gets to have a sleepover every weekend either at a

family members house or at a friends house just to get away. Yet, she still

will lie straight faced - even if I saw her doing it. It has gotten a little

better.... Im just not sure what else to do? she gets punished, but I feel

when I take away her priveleges such as the get-aways, she only resents her

brother more. Any ideas from you others dealing with this?

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