Re: I'm sad..please help..don't know where to begin

February 4, 2008

RW1,

It is understandable that both you and your boyfriend are sad and upset by the

diagnosis of RA, especially if your boyfriend is young. But many of w/RA have

lived very good, very satisying lives. I am 49, and have had RA since I was in

my teens, yet my life (w/help!) has been good. Yes there is pain, and

complications, and medical bills, but he will find what works for him w/ time.

I am not saying RA is a bed of roses or belittling his disease, but trying to

let you know that it does not mean he can't have a fulfilling life, even w/ his

disease.

Keep reading the posts on this RA-Support group, there are some wonderful

people on here.

rw1_m <rw1_m@...> wrote:

Hello everyone,

I've been very sad lately. My boyfriend whom I love dearly has been

diagnosed with RA last Monday. So it's been a week since we found

out. Before the diagnosis he had been feeling sharp pains in his

right hip joint for 2 wks. Which is why he went to the doctors in the

first place. I've been researching and trying to learn about RA. I am

overwhelmed by it. I've been reading stories, treatments, and

prognosis and to be frank..it makes me depressed. I'm scared and I

know my boyfriend is too..I know he is depressed..the other day he

said he wanted to die..we both cried together for hours. We are both

trying to stay strong. But I definately need support and prayers to

find the strength to stay strong. Right now, I just want a place

where I can chat to people for support and resources. Anyone know

where I can find a good chat room. Also, any advice on where to

begin? I guess I really what my boyfriend to start seeing a

rheumatologist and advice on finding a good doctor. Also, a HUGE

FACTOR is medical cost. He has personal/private insurance thru

Cobra..but I don't think its a very good insurance plan because his

medication is so expensive. And his job doesn't provide insurance. I

really need help/advice with the medical cost. And how to make sure

he gets seen by a good rheumatologist. He lives in Southern

California, near West Covina, Fullerton area. We don't have a lot of

money and I want to get early intervention as soon as possible. But

the picturing how much medical bills will cost is scary and

depressing. Need help and resources please! Thank you. RW1

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February 5, 2008

Rw, hang in there. It is normal to be frightened and overwhelmed at first. I

also think it's normal to feel depressed and hopeless when one is flaring b/c of

all the inflammatory chemicals and how they affect the brain - to say nothing

that flares hurt like a beast! Sure, RA can be depressing, but with good

management, he can, and will get his life back. I was first symptomatic at 28

and I tried to break up with my boyfriend at the time, saying that we didn't

know what I had and maybe it was something serious. Fast forward almost 10

years and we're married with a son and another baby on the way. I work full

time, can exercise, can hang out with friends, etc. Most people would have no

idea I have severe RA unless I told them, or if they happened to see me during a

flare. I just have to stay on top of my RA with steriods and Enbrel which is

like my crack cocaine, I love it. First, your boyfriend has to get to a good

rheumatologist. Start with the

ones in his plan and call ahead to find out what they charge for an initial

visit. Prices can really vary widely. I just moved and one rheum I saw charged

$395 for the first visit while another charged $194. If he doesn't have good

insurance, ask the office business manager if they would be willing to lower the

fee if you paid cash. Then when you're seen, ask if a biologic would be

appropriate and get on the horn to the companies to see if he'd qualify for the

medication assistance programs. Several drug companies have them and they're

really great for people who are under- or un-insured. Finally, as he's feeling

better, he has to find a job with better insurance coverage, even if that means

moving to a new area. Good insurance means access to good health care and with

a disease like RA, it's super important to stay on top of things.

Hugs, Kate F

[ ] I'm sad..please help..don't know where to begin