A newbie !

[Guest guest]

Hello to all. I am French and I'm posting to present myself.

My name is Violaine (girl), I am 26 and I am taking Paroxetine since 7 years to

cure my social anxiety disorder consecutive to parental abuse in my childhood.

During these 7 years, nothing bad, my social anxiety disappeared in one year and

I must say this drug has permitted for me to be free of my trouble. Yes, nothing

bad, excepted I often forget to take my drugs and when I forget... It's a

terrible punishment... My hands are shaking, I am crying and trying to suicide !

But usually I am not depressive to the point to make my life end...

Why my treatment continued during 7 years ? Because I had no psychiatrical

following and my doctor refused I stop this drug until I have a therapy. But I

hate the only psychiatrist who has the adapted therapy in my entire region !

Anyway I should not have listened to him and have stopped until it's too late...

It has become very, very late when my neurologist decided last November to cure

my migraines giving me... Amytriptilin. Yes, Amytriptilin with Paroxetin. I

believed it was just an antalgic, I didn't realized a nightmare would begin. I

began to get the same symptoms than when I have forgotten Paroxetin, but worse.

I was not able to walk normally. I was sleeping so strongly nobody could awake

me and everybody was afraid I was dead ! One day I even made diarrhea when

sleeping ! It was first time that it happened to me since little childhood.

Finally, one night I finished into psychiatric emergencies at hospital, because

I knew if I were not gone there I would have died.

Now, since January 3, I have managed to reduce Amitriptylin from 25 mg to 3 mg

per day, and Paroxetin from 20 mg to 15 mg. But now I can't sleep normally, I

can't walk normally, my migraines are coming back (usually they are extremely

strong and happen one day on 2), and my hands are shaking, a simple music is

enough to make me cry like a baby, and when I am alone at night... Sometimes I

would have loved so much to not be alive today... And I'm afraid my social

anxiety comes back, my migraines are so horrible, and I can't sleep. I have

taken 20 kilograms last months. I am getting chronical pancreatic disorders, is

it because of my hemochromatosis, because of my drugs, or probably both ?

Now I am unable to work and my hope to get a normal life again is poor. I will

see an addictologist but in France Paroxetin is not considered as an addictive

drug, and Amitriptylin, who has ever heard of terrible effects of Amitriptylin ?

I need help, please...