Re: What are the normal breath rates in the eldery?

[Guest guest]

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> It's hard to know if she wants something to eat, because she is not taking

anything by mouth only the liquid by the syringe. Your mother took some food by

mouth & liquid when she had a really bad UTI or did she completely stop both til

she felt better?

***Yes, Mom took less when she had a UTI, Beth. But, she took less and less over

the past six months of her life, too. When I moved her to prepared baby food

(no spices and consistent texture unlike the puree served at the facility), I

was happy if she ate two ounces of a main course (protein) and two ounces of a

dessert or vegetable at a meal. That's not much food for an adult. After a

month on that, she wouldn't/couldn't swallow anything suddenly. She had been

slowly winding down while on the baby food. February 20th, she began missing a

meal here and there. February 23rd, she ate breakfast and then only a few

spoons at lunch. At dinner that day, she could no longer swallow. Her Hospice

nurse was beside me at that meal. We knew there would be no more trying at that

point. To risk more would risk aspiration pneumonia. As much as I worked to

prevent such a thing from happening, risking that wasn't even an option.

Prior to that, Hospice advised that Mom could live (make that exist) for quite a

while with no foods and only liquids. I think hearing that makes one look

forward to relief for the one they love. As I wrote when this exchange first

began, Mom probably weighed only 75 pounds when she passed. Mom was 5'7 " tall.

She was literally skin and bones.***

> I know all you say is true, and as I feel lead by God I will let go, but right

now I don't feel it's time. I hold on to the antibiotics right now I have too.

I am not forcing anything on her, I am doing my best for her while she is with

me.

***It may not be time right now. But, each time your aunt faces a crisis, the

toll on her is more permanent. Each time my mother had an infection, when she

recovered, she was never where she was before the infection. She had always

demonstrated a decline.

I don't know the reason for Mom being in such a prolonged journey. Knowing my

mother, as much as she wanted to be reunited with my father, she didn't want to

leave me. All of my life, she had been my biggest fan and I was, along with her

grandchildren, her pride and joy. She truly needed to be sure that I would be

okay.

Your aunt needs to know that you will be okay, too. Please let her know that.

It doesn't have to be saying the words, " good bye " . You can let her know that

she has taught you patience and the meaning of inner strength...that she has

given you unconditional love and a great sense of confidence. Let her know that

the memories you shared will always be with you and that you will always carry

her in your heart. Believe that because it is true. Eventually, the pain you

feel now will subside and you will look back at these years with pride and love

for you will have accomplished what many either cannot do or choose not to do.

As Mom's final days passed, staff where she was came in daily to reassure her

that I would be okay. They sang to her. They prayed with her. I only know

this because the Hospice nurse shared it with me. There are angels all around

us. We just have to let them in to do their work. I didn't totally think I was

a strong person. Others told me I was but I didn't believe it. I'm not sure if

I am strong or if the angels propped me up so I could do what had to be done.

Best wishes,

Lynn in Florida