Guest guest Posted April 29, 2012 Report Share Posted April 29, 2012 I was wondering if some of you could give your idea of where my dad is in his LBD journey. He is still walking, but super, super slowly with a shuffling gait and he has no stamina. He has fallen and is very dizzy whenever he stands. He is incontinent both ways. He can still feed himself, but his intake is lessening and he likes easy foods like soup and eggs and sandwiches mostly. He can sometimes dress himself, but often, he just doens't know what to do. If I try to put his shoes on him, he doesn't really know how to lift his leg sometimes. He needs assistance for showering, brushing his teeth etc. He doesn't know my mom most days and never recognizes the home he has lived in for 50 years. Does this sound like the end stage or is he still somewhere in the middle of his journey? Thanks Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 29, 2012 Report Share Posted April 29, 2012 Kathy: Please access the groups files. In there is a section on stages. Please print it out. I found that my husband is between stages 4 and 5 based on what I read. It is a guideline that might help you. Vivian > ** > > > > > I was wondering if some of you could give your idea of where my dad is in > his LBD journey. He is still walking, but super, super slowly with a > shuffling gait and he has no stamina. He has fallen and is very dizzy > whenever he stands. He is incontinent both ways. He can still feed himself, > but his intake is lessening and he likes easy foods like soup and eggs and > sandwiches mostly. He can sometimes dress himself, but often, he just > doens't know what to do. If I try to put his shoes on him, he doesn't > really know how to lift his leg sometimes. He needs assistance for > showering, brushing his teeth etc. He doesn't know my mom most days and > never recognizes the home he has lived in for 50 years. > > Does this sound like the end stage or is he still somewhere in the middle > of his journey? > > Thanks > Kathy > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 29, 2012 Report Share Posted April 29, 2012 go into the Files section; http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/LBDcaregivers/files/ and click the folder marked: LBD Phases > > > > I was wondering if some of you could give your idea of where my dad is in his LBD journey. He is still walking, but super, super slowly with a shuffling gait and he has no stamina. He has fallen and is very dizzy whenever he stands. He is incontinent both ways. He can still feed himself, but his intake is lessening and he likes easy foods like soup and eggs and sandwiches mostly. He can sometimes dress himself, but often, he just doens't know what to do. If I try to put his shoes on him, he doesn't really know how to lift his leg sometimes. He needs assistance for showering, brushing his teeth etc. He doesn't know my mom most days and never recognizes the home he has lived in for 50 years. > > Does this sound like the end stage or is he still somewhere in the middle of his journey? > > Thanks > Kathy > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 29, 2012 Report Share Posted April 29, 2012 go into the Files section; http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/LBDcaregivers/files/ and click the folder marked: LBD Phases > > > > I was wondering if some of you could give your idea of where my dad is in his LBD journey. He is still walking, but super, super slowly with a shuffling gait and he has no stamina. He has fallen and is very dizzy whenever he stands. He is incontinent both ways. He can still feed himself, but his intake is lessening and he likes easy foods like soup and eggs and sandwiches mostly. He can sometimes dress himself, but often, he just doens't know what to do. If I try to put his shoes on him, he doesn't really know how to lift his leg sometimes. He needs assistance for showering, brushing his teeth etc. He doesn't know my mom most days and never recognizes the home he has lived in for 50 years. > > Does this sound like the end stage or is he still somewhere in the middle of his journey? > > Thanks > Kathy > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 29, 2012 Report Share Posted April 29, 2012 Hi Dear Kathy, I had to gasp when I read your post about your Dad- gauging from my mama I think he is entering late stages of LBD- but don't be surprised if the later stages can last several years ! Also I have seen my mom go down rapidly and then plateau. Unless he gets an infection or other illness that takes him down unfortunately patients can languish like this for a long time ! It's tough - keep us posted on his comditon. Best, Judy > ** > > > > > I was wondering if some of you could give your idea of where my dad is in > his LBD journey. He is still walking, but super, super slowly with a > shuffling gait and he has no stamina. He has fallen and is very dizzy > whenever he stands. He is incontinent both ways. He can still feed himself, > but his intake is lessening and he likes easy foods like soup and eggs and > sandwiches mostly. He can sometimes dress himself, but often, he just > doens't know what to do. If I try to put his shoes on him, he doesn't > really know how to lift his leg sometimes. He needs assistance for > showering, brushing his teeth etc. He doesn't know my mom most days and > never recognizes the home he has lived in for 50 years. > > Does this sound like the end stage or is he still somewhere in the middle > of his journey? > > Thanks > Kathy > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 29, 2012 Report Share Posted April 29, 2012 Hi Dear Kathy, I had to gasp when I read your post about your Dad- gauging from my mama I think he is entering late stages of LBD- but don't be surprised if the later stages can last several years ! Also I have seen my mom go down rapidly and then plateau. Unless he gets an infection or other illness that takes him down unfortunately patients can languish like this for a long time ! It's tough - keep us posted on his comditon. Best, Judy > ** > > > > > I was wondering if some of you could give your idea of where my dad is in > his LBD journey. He is still walking, but super, super slowly with a > shuffling gait and he has no stamina. He has fallen and is very dizzy > whenever he stands. He is incontinent both ways. He can still feed himself, > but his intake is lessening and he likes easy foods like soup and eggs and > sandwiches mostly. He can sometimes dress himself, but often, he just > doens't know what to do. If I try to put his shoes on him, he doesn't > really know how to lift his leg sometimes. He needs assistance for > showering, brushing his teeth etc. He doesn't know my mom most days and > never recognizes the home he has lived in for 50 years. > > Does this sound like the end stage or is he still somewhere in the middle > of his journey? > > Thanks > Kathy > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2012 Report Share Posted May 2, 2012 Kathy, sorry so late in responding. Mom had most of the issues your dad has. I don't know how she would have been if she had been living at home, but I suspect she would have trouble with it, too. Her doctor said she was in the late stages, though she was like the Everyready Bunny - she kept going and going. What I would have considered the mark for late-late stages was when her hand became misshapen and she couldn't hold eating utensils without a lot of help. It had happened before, but she recovered then. This time it didn't look like she would get her hand functioning again. She was blessed to get pneumonia a couple of weeks into this and passed within 2 days, very gently. She had lasted about a year and a half in about the same condition as your dad. Have you thought about placing him in a nursing home? I know that suggestion isn't palatable for everyone but here's why I suggest it. Paramount is that it would take a lot of the physical burden off your mom. Caregiving is hard. I've read it can take up to 7 years off your life. Your mom is the one who can still get a lot out of life and it might be better to concentrate on her health and quality of life. If your dad doesn't recognize you, your mom or the house, he should have a reasonably acceptable adjustment to a nursing home. At Mom's nursing home, the dementia unit and the hospice unit were in different wings on the same floor. The same staff worked on both units. So, in the dementia unit, when Mom became ill she, and all of our family, received hospice like support, which was wonderful. A nursing home has nurses, but also dieticians, physical and occupational therapists and many other caring people. The one Mom was in was Catholic, but we Methodists felt very comfortable. The Sisters who served in pastoral care were very supportive and made sure that Mom's pastor was involved in her care, too. Therapists need doctors' orders to provide care, but one thing that was really important and that might help your dad was that she received frequent " swallowing studies. " Mom's ability to handle solid food changed several times and her meals were adjusted to accommodate that. One thing you might consider is grinding your dad's food and moistening it with broth or gravy. When ground separately, the meat still tastes like meat and the veggies like veggies. Or overcooked veggies might be easier, too. On rare occasion, Mom's veggies came to her al dente and, though in the past she preferred them that way, she couldn't eat them when they were " properly " cooked. Moist mashed potatoes and sloppy oatmeal were very helpful. So was ice cream. You don't need to get things to the point at which they look like baby food, but the ground food does go down easier. This is going to sound terribly wrong, but Mom probably wouldn't have gotten pneumonia if she hadn't been in the nursing home. And then she would have continued to " live " as she never wanted to live. Precautions are taken in nursing homes to prevent the spread of infections, but it is much like an elementary school and it is impossible to prevent everything. Getting pneumonia was the best thing that could have happened at the point she was at and I am very grateful it happened. Think about it. You are not " putting him away " by getting him to a nursing home. You are getting him round the clock care performed by people who are trained to care for him. And you are protecting your mom so that she can be as healthy as she can for the rest of her life. Kate > ** > > > > > I was wondering if some of you could give your idea of where my dad is in > his LBD journey. He is still walking, but super, super slowly with a > shuffling gait and he has no stamina. He has fallen and is very dizzy > whenever he stands. He is incontinent both ways. He can still feed himself, > but his intake is lessening and he likes easy foods like soup and eggs and > sandwiches mostly. He can sometimes dress himself, but often, he just > doens't know what to do. If I try to put his shoes on him, he doesn't > really know how to lift his leg sometimes. He needs assistance for > showering, brushing his teeth etc. He doesn't know my mom most days and > never recognizes the home he has lived in for 50 years. > > Does this sound like the end stage or is he still somewhere in the middle > of his journey? > > Thanks > Kathy > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2012 Report Share Posted May 2, 2012 Kathy, sorry so late in responding. Mom had most of the issues your dad has. I don't know how she would have been if she had been living at home, but I suspect she would have trouble with it, too. Her doctor said she was in the late stages, though she was like the Everyready Bunny - she kept going and going. What I would have considered the mark for late-late stages was when her hand became misshapen and she couldn't hold eating utensils without a lot of help. It had happened before, but she recovered then. This time it didn't look like she would get her hand functioning again. She was blessed to get pneumonia a couple of weeks into this and passed within 2 days, very gently. She had lasted about a year and a half in about the same condition as your dad. Have you thought about placing him in a nursing home? I know that suggestion isn't palatable for everyone but here's why I suggest it. Paramount is that it would take a lot of the physical burden off your mom. Caregiving is hard. I've read it can take up to 7 years off your life. Your mom is the one who can still get a lot out of life and it might be better to concentrate on her health and quality of life. If your dad doesn't recognize you, your mom or the house, he should have a reasonably acceptable adjustment to a nursing home. At Mom's nursing home, the dementia unit and the hospice unit were in different wings on the same floor. The same staff worked on both units. So, in the dementia unit, when Mom became ill she, and all of our family, received hospice like support, which was wonderful. A nursing home has nurses, but also dieticians, physical and occupational therapists and many other caring people. The one Mom was in was Catholic, but we Methodists felt very comfortable. The Sisters who served in pastoral care were very supportive and made sure that Mom's pastor was involved in her care, too. Therapists need doctors' orders to provide care, but one thing that was really important and that might help your dad was that she received frequent " swallowing studies. " Mom's ability to handle solid food changed several times and her meals were adjusted to accommodate that. One thing you might consider is grinding your dad's food and moistening it with broth or gravy. When ground separately, the meat still tastes like meat and the veggies like veggies. Or overcooked veggies might be easier, too. On rare occasion, Mom's veggies came to her al dente and, though in the past she preferred them that way, she couldn't eat them when they were " properly " cooked. Moist mashed potatoes and sloppy oatmeal were very helpful. So was ice cream. You don't need to get things to the point at which they look like baby food, but the ground food does go down easier. This is going to sound terribly wrong, but Mom probably wouldn't have gotten pneumonia if she hadn't been in the nursing home. And then she would have continued to " live " as she never wanted to live. Precautions are taken in nursing homes to prevent the spread of infections, but it is much like an elementary school and it is impossible to prevent everything. Getting pneumonia was the best thing that could have happened at the point she was at and I am very grateful it happened. Think about it. You are not " putting him away " by getting him to a nursing home. You are getting him round the clock care performed by people who are trained to care for him. And you are protecting your mom so that she can be as healthy as she can for the rest of her life. Kate > ** > > > > > I was wondering if some of you could give your idea of where my dad is in > his LBD journey. He is still walking, but super, super slowly with a > shuffling gait and he has no stamina. He has fallen and is very dizzy > whenever he stands. He is incontinent both ways. He can still feed himself, > but his intake is lessening and he likes easy foods like soup and eggs and > sandwiches mostly. He can sometimes dress himself, but often, he just > doens't know what to do. If I try to put his shoes on him, he doesn't > really know how to lift his leg sometimes. He needs assistance for > showering, brushing his teeth etc. He doesn't know my mom most days and > never recognizes the home he has lived in for 50 years. > > Does this sound like the end stage or is he still somewhere in the middle > of his journey? > > Thanks > Kathy > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Thank you to all who have responded to my questions. Kate, you mentioned nursing homes but at $10,000+ per month, how long can an average person last before their money is completely depleted?! It is definitely a very tough journey. Thank you all for taking the time out to answer and for the support. Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Thank you to all who have responded to my questions. Kate, you mentioned nursing homes but at $10,000+ per month, how long can an average person last before their money is completely depleted?! It is definitely a very tough journey. Thank you all for taking the time out to answer and for the support. Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Thank you to all who have responded to my questions. Kate, you mentioned nursing homes but at $10,000+ per month, how long can an average person last before their money is completely depleted?! It is definitely a very tough journey. Thank you all for taking the time out to answer and for the support. Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Kathy, I hated having to deal with financial issues and Mom's dwindling assets. And I didn't need to worry about anyone else. Mom was widowed a long time ago and anything she had could be spent on her. There seems to be a general belief that you have to be destitute in order to qualify for Medicaid or other assistance. This is far from the truth. And there are many opportunities for help that are between self-pay and Medicaid. Talk to your local social services or office on aging, usually county offices. You don't have to be terribly poor to get help. Nursing homes also can help you figure out what assistance you might be eligible for. They have social workers for just this reason. There should be no stigma in talking with social service agencies, especially with aging issues. You and your parents have paid taxes all these years so that these agencies are there to help you now. There is almost always a sliding scale for people who don't yet qualify for Medicaid. Or, talk to an attorney who specializes in this type of thing. Don't use just a general attorney. Go to one that has a social worker involved and who does a lot with things like Social Security and Medicaid. You don't have to be too poor for an attorney in order to pursue Medicaid and it is smart to get whatever help you can. You are allowed to protect some of your parents' assets for your mom's needs - now and future needs. This is the biggest reason for consulting an attorney. I think that, in order to afford nursing home care for as long as most people need it, one would have to be fairly well off. Maybe even really well off. I suspect that more than half of the people in nursing homes are on Medicaid when they enter or soon after. Make sure that your mom has enough protected for her future and then use the rest. People save for their " old age. " This is their old age. They can spend it now and then accept the help they have been paying for through their taxes. Yes, it was hard for me to get past the " I need to keep a decent balance in Mom's bank accounts - just in case " stage. I spent my own money, instead. Then I spent my own credit, instead. Now I'm in deep doodoo and realize that it wouldn't have made much difference in the assistance Mom received if I had protected my own funds and spent down hers. Whenever it was spent down, Mom would have gotten assistance. Once your mom is financially protected, go ahead and spend what is left of their money on your dad, to the point at which he qualifies for Medicaid. He's been paying for it for a long time. He deserves the help (and so do you and your mom). Don't hesitate to ask for help from family, friends or government agencies. All they can say is " no " and most will either say " yes " or " no, but we can do something else. " You just have to ask. (Didn't mean to lecture, just to encourage you to ask for help.) Best wishes. Kate > ** > > > > Thank you to all who have responded to my questions. Kate, you mentioned > nursing homes but at $10,000+ per month, how long can an average person > last before their money is completely depleted?! It is definitely a very > tough journey. Thank you all for taking the time out to answer and for the > support. > > > Kathy > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Kathy, I hated having to deal with financial issues and Mom's dwindling assets. And I didn't need to worry about anyone else. Mom was widowed a long time ago and anything she had could be spent on her. There seems to be a general belief that you have to be destitute in order to qualify for Medicaid or other assistance. This is far from the truth. And there are many opportunities for help that are between self-pay and Medicaid. Talk to your local social services or office on aging, usually county offices. You don't have to be terribly poor to get help. Nursing homes also can help you figure out what assistance you might be eligible for. They have social workers for just this reason. There should be no stigma in talking with social service agencies, especially with aging issues. You and your parents have paid taxes all these years so that these agencies are there to help you now. There is almost always a sliding scale for people who don't yet qualify for Medicaid. Or, talk to an attorney who specializes in this type of thing. Don't use just a general attorney. Go to one that has a social worker involved and who does a lot with things like Social Security and Medicaid. You don't have to be too poor for an attorney in order to pursue Medicaid and it is smart to get whatever help you can. You are allowed to protect some of your parents' assets for your mom's needs - now and future needs. This is the biggest reason for consulting an attorney. I think that, in order to afford nursing home care for as long as most people need it, one would have to be fairly well off. Maybe even really well off. I suspect that more than half of the people in nursing homes are on Medicaid when they enter or soon after. Make sure that your mom has enough protected for her future and then use the rest. People save for their " old age. " This is their old age. They can spend it now and then accept the help they have been paying for through their taxes. Yes, it was hard for me to get past the " I need to keep a decent balance in Mom's bank accounts - just in case " stage. I spent my own money, instead. Then I spent my own credit, instead. Now I'm in deep doodoo and realize that it wouldn't have made much difference in the assistance Mom received if I had protected my own funds and spent down hers. Whenever it was spent down, Mom would have gotten assistance. Once your mom is financially protected, go ahead and spend what is left of their money on your dad, to the point at which he qualifies for Medicaid. He's been paying for it for a long time. He deserves the help (and so do you and your mom). Don't hesitate to ask for help from family, friends or government agencies. All they can say is " no " and most will either say " yes " or " no, but we can do something else. " You just have to ask. (Didn't mean to lecture, just to encourage you to ask for help.) Best wishes. Kate > ** > > > > Thank you to all who have responded to my questions. Kate, you mentioned > nursing homes but at $10,000+ per month, how long can an average person > last before their money is completely depleted?! It is definitely a very > tough journey. Thank you all for taking the time out to answer and for the > support. > > > Kathy > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Kathy, One more practical thing. It is sometimes easier for someone with dementia to swallow thicker liquids, rather than broths or water. Mom even found grape juice easier to swallow than cranberry juice. It's only slightly thicker, but it seemed to help. Even water sometimes needs to be thickened. There is a thickener you can get from drug stores or medical supply stores, and especially the online medical supply stores. You can add it to almost any liquid, even soup. You might want to give that a try. Your dad might be hesitating to eat because of swallowing problems. Maybe this will help. Kate > Kathy, > > I hated having to deal with financial issues and Mom's dwindling assets. > And I didn't need to worry about anyone else. Mom was widowed a long time > ago and anything she had could be spent on her. > > There seems to be a general belief that you have to be destitute in order > to qualify for Medicaid or other assistance. This is far from the truth. > And there are many opportunities for help that are between self-pay and > Medicaid. Talk to your local social services or office on aging, usually > county offices. You don't have to be terribly poor to get help. Nursing > homes also can help you figure out what assistance you might be eligible > for. They have social workers for just this reason. There should be no > stigma in talking with social service agencies, especially with aging > issues. You and your parents have paid taxes all these years so that these > agencies are there to help you now. There is almost always a sliding scale > for people who don't yet qualify for Medicaid. > > Or, talk to an attorney who specializes in this type of thing. Don't use > just a general attorney. Go to one that has a social worker involved and > who does a lot with things like Social Security and Medicaid. You don't > have to be too poor for an attorney in order to pursue Medicaid and it is > smart to get whatever help you can. You are allowed to protect some of > your parents' assets for your mom's needs - now and future needs. This is > the biggest reason for consulting an attorney. > > > I think that, in order to afford nursing home care for as long as most > people need it, one would have to be fairly well off. Maybe even really > well off. I suspect that more than half of the people in nursing homes are > on Medicaid when they enter or soon after. Make sure that your mom has > enough protected for her future and then use the rest. People save for > their " old age. " This is their old age. They can spend it now and then > accept the help they have been paying for through their taxes. > > Yes, it was hard for me to get past the " I need to keep a decent balance > in Mom's bank accounts - just in case " stage. I spent my own money, > instead. Then I spent my own credit, instead. Now I'm in deep doodoo and > realize that it wouldn't have made much difference in the assistance Mom > received if I had protected my own funds and spent down hers. Whenever it > was spent down, Mom would have gotten assistance. Once your mom is > financially protected, go ahead and spend what is left of their money on > your dad, to the point at which he qualifies for Medicaid. He's been > paying for it for a long time. He deserves the help (and so do you and > your mom). > > Don't hesitate to ask for help from family, friends or government > agencies. All they can say is " no " and most will either say " yes " or " no, > but we can do something else. " You just have to ask. > > (Didn't mean to lecture, just to encourage you to ask for help.) > > Best wishes. > > Kate > > > > > > > > >> ** >> >> >> >> Thank you to all who have responded to my questions. Kate, you mentioned >> nursing homes but at $10,000+ per month, how long can an average person >> last before their money is completely depleted?! It is definitely a very >> tough journey. Thank you all for taking the time out to answer and for the >> support. >> >> >> Kathy >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Kathy, One more practical thing. It is sometimes easier for someone with dementia to swallow thicker liquids, rather than broths or water. Mom even found grape juice easier to swallow than cranberry juice. It's only slightly thicker, but it seemed to help. Even water sometimes needs to be thickened. There is a thickener you can get from drug stores or medical supply stores, and especially the online medical supply stores. You can add it to almost any liquid, even soup. You might want to give that a try. Your dad might be hesitating to eat because of swallowing problems. Maybe this will help. Kate > Kathy, > > I hated having to deal with financial issues and Mom's dwindling assets. > And I didn't need to worry about anyone else. Mom was widowed a long time > ago and anything she had could be spent on her. > > There seems to be a general belief that you have to be destitute in order > to qualify for Medicaid or other assistance. This is far from the truth. > And there are many opportunities for help that are between self-pay and > Medicaid. Talk to your local social services or office on aging, usually > county offices. You don't have to be terribly poor to get help. Nursing > homes also can help you figure out what assistance you might be eligible > for. They have social workers for just this reason. There should be no > stigma in talking with social service agencies, especially with aging > issues. You and your parents have paid taxes all these years so that these > agencies are there to help you now. There is almost always a sliding scale > for people who don't yet qualify for Medicaid. > > Or, talk to an attorney who specializes in this type of thing. Don't use > just a general attorney. Go to one that has a social worker involved and > who does a lot with things like Social Security and Medicaid. You don't > have to be too poor for an attorney in order to pursue Medicaid and it is > smart to get whatever help you can. You are allowed to protect some of > your parents' assets for your mom's needs - now and future needs. This is > the biggest reason for consulting an attorney. > > > I think that, in order to afford nursing home care for as long as most > people need it, one would have to be fairly well off. Maybe even really > well off. I suspect that more than half of the people in nursing homes are > on Medicaid when they enter or soon after. Make sure that your mom has > enough protected for her future and then use the rest. People save for > their " old age. " This is their old age. They can spend it now and then > accept the help they have been paying for through their taxes. > > Yes, it was hard for me to get past the " I need to keep a decent balance > in Mom's bank accounts - just in case " stage. I spent my own money, > instead. Then I spent my own credit, instead. Now I'm in deep doodoo and > realize that it wouldn't have made much difference in the assistance Mom > received if I had protected my own funds and spent down hers. Whenever it > was spent down, Mom would have gotten assistance. Once your mom is > financially protected, go ahead and spend what is left of their money on > your dad, to the point at which he qualifies for Medicaid. He's been > paying for it for a long time. He deserves the help (and so do you and > your mom). > > Don't hesitate to ask for help from family, friends or government > agencies. All they can say is " no " and most will either say " yes " or " no, > but we can do something else. " You just have to ask. > > (Didn't mean to lecture, just to encourage you to ask for help.) > > Best wishes. > > Kate > > > > > > > > >> ** >> >> >> >> Thank you to all who have responded to my questions. Kate, you mentioned >> nursing homes but at $10,000+ per month, how long can an average person >> last before their money is completely depleted?! It is definitely a very >> tough journey. Thank you all for taking the time out to answer and for the >> support. >> >> >> Kathy >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Kathy, One more practical thing. It is sometimes easier for someone with dementia to swallow thicker liquids, rather than broths or water. Mom even found grape juice easier to swallow than cranberry juice. It's only slightly thicker, but it seemed to help. Even water sometimes needs to be thickened. There is a thickener you can get from drug stores or medical supply stores, and especially the online medical supply stores. You can add it to almost any liquid, even soup. You might want to give that a try. Your dad might be hesitating to eat because of swallowing problems. Maybe this will help. Kate > Kathy, > > I hated having to deal with financial issues and Mom's dwindling assets. > And I didn't need to worry about anyone else. Mom was widowed a long time > ago and anything she had could be spent on her. > > There seems to be a general belief that you have to be destitute in order > to qualify for Medicaid or other assistance. This is far from the truth. > And there are many opportunities for help that are between self-pay and > Medicaid. Talk to your local social services or office on aging, usually > county offices. You don't have to be terribly poor to get help. Nursing > homes also can help you figure out what assistance you might be eligible > for. They have social workers for just this reason. There should be no > stigma in talking with social service agencies, especially with aging > issues. You and your parents have paid taxes all these years so that these > agencies are there to help you now. There is almost always a sliding scale > for people who don't yet qualify for Medicaid. > > Or, talk to an attorney who specializes in this type of thing. Don't use > just a general attorney. Go to one that has a social worker involved and > who does a lot with things like Social Security and Medicaid. You don't > have to be too poor for an attorney in order to pursue Medicaid and it is > smart to get whatever help you can. You are allowed to protect some of > your parents' assets for your mom's needs - now and future needs. This is > the biggest reason for consulting an attorney. > > > I think that, in order to afford nursing home care for as long as most > people need it, one would have to be fairly well off. Maybe even really > well off. I suspect that more than half of the people in nursing homes are > on Medicaid when they enter or soon after. Make sure that your mom has > enough protected for her future and then use the rest. People save for > their " old age. " This is their old age. They can spend it now and then > accept the help they have been paying for through their taxes. > > Yes, it was hard for me to get past the " I need to keep a decent balance > in Mom's bank accounts - just in case " stage. I spent my own money, > instead. Then I spent my own credit, instead. Now I'm in deep doodoo and > realize that it wouldn't have made much difference in the assistance Mom > received if I had protected my own funds and spent down hers. Whenever it > was spent down, Mom would have gotten assistance. Once your mom is > financially protected, go ahead and spend what is left of their money on > your dad, to the point at which he qualifies for Medicaid. He's been > paying for it for a long time. He deserves the help (and so do you and > your mom). > > Don't hesitate to ask for help from family, friends or government > agencies. All they can say is " no " and most will either say " yes " or " no, > but we can do something else. " You just have to ask. > > (Didn't mean to lecture, just to encourage you to ask for help.) > > Best wishes. > > Kate > > > > > > > > >> ** >> >> >> >> Thank you to all who have responded to my questions. Kate, you mentioned >> nursing homes but at $10,000+ per month, how long can an average person >> last before their money is completely depleted?! It is definitely a very >> tough journey. Thank you all for taking the time out to answer and for the >> support. >> >> >> Kathy >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 My first response to the $10K per month figure...wow. Where I live in Canada, there are fairly long wait times to get into long term nursing home care. My mother is in the hospital until they can place her, will probably be there for months, and we'll be billed for that. But the hospital stay (once you're 'medically discharged') as well as many of our nursing homes are subsidized and your fee goes by your income. The maximum rate is $99 a day, so about $3,000 per month on average. And that's the max, they can't take any more than 85% of your income if you're a single person. If you have a spouse, that changes things since your spouse has to be able to live too while you're in long term care. Not that you're left with a lot, but at least a family isn't left destitute after a year in a nursing home. Honestly, who has that much cash? > > > Thank you to all who have responded to my questions. Kate, you mentioned nursing homes but at $10,000+ per month, how long can an average person last before their money is completely depleted?! It is definitely a very tough journey. Thank you all for taking the time out to answer and for the support. > > Kathy > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 My first response to the $10K per month figure...wow. Where I live in Canada, there are fairly long wait times to get into long term nursing home care. My mother is in the hospital until they can place her, will probably be there for months, and we'll be billed for that. But the hospital stay (once you're 'medically discharged') as well as many of our nursing homes are subsidized and your fee goes by your income. The maximum rate is $99 a day, so about $3,000 per month on average. And that's the max, they can't take any more than 85% of your income if you're a single person. If you have a spouse, that changes things since your spouse has to be able to live too while you're in long term care. Not that you're left with a lot, but at least a family isn't left destitute after a year in a nursing home. Honestly, who has that much cash? > > > Thank you to all who have responded to my questions. Kate, you mentioned nursing homes but at $10,000+ per month, how long can an average person last before their money is completely depleted?! It is definitely a very tough journey. Thank you all for taking the time out to answer and for the support. > > Kathy > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Sorry, I forgot you're in Canada. If you haven't already, you might want to check into it, anyway. Just to know where you stand. But I still suggest you find an attorney who can help you protect as much as you can for your mom. She deserves to be as OK as possible and so do you. Kate > ** > > > My first response to the $10K per month figure...wow. > > Where I live in Canada, there are fairly long wait times to get into long > term nursing home care. My mother is in the hospital until they can place > her, will probably be there for months, and we'll be billed for that. But > the hospital stay (once you're 'medically discharged') as well as many of > our nursing homes are subsidized and your fee goes by your income. The > maximum rate is $99 a day, so about $3,000 per month on average. And that's > the max, they can't take any more than 85% of your income if you're a > single person. If you have a spouse, that changes things since your spouse > has to be able to live too while you're in long term care. Not that you're > left with a lot, but at least a family isn't left destitute after a year in > a nursing home. Honestly, who has that much cash? > > > > > > > > Thank you to all who have responded to my questions. Kate, you mentioned > nursing homes but at $10,000+ per month, how long can an average person > last before their money is completely depleted?! It is definitely a very > tough journey. Thank you all for taking the time out to answer and for the > support. > > > > Kathy > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Sorry, I forgot you're in Canada. If you haven't already, you might want to check into it, anyway. Just to know where you stand. But I still suggest you find an attorney who can help you protect as much as you can for your mom. She deserves to be as OK as possible and so do you. Kate > ** > > > My first response to the $10K per month figure...wow. > > Where I live in Canada, there are fairly long wait times to get into long > term nursing home care. My mother is in the hospital until they can place > her, will probably be there for months, and we'll be billed for that. But > the hospital stay (once you're 'medically discharged') as well as many of > our nursing homes are subsidized and your fee goes by your income. The > maximum rate is $99 a day, so about $3,000 per month on average. And that's > the max, they can't take any more than 85% of your income if you're a > single person. If you have a spouse, that changes things since your spouse > has to be able to live too while you're in long term care. Not that you're > left with a lot, but at least a family isn't left destitute after a year in > a nursing home. Honestly, who has that much cash? > > > > > > > > Thank you to all who have responded to my questions. Kate, you mentioned > nursing homes but at $10,000+ per month, how long can an average person > last before their money is completely depleted?! It is definitely a very > tough journey. Thank you all for taking the time out to answer and for the > support. > > > > Kathy > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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