Guest guest Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 , Condolences to you and your family as you celebrate your father's life. He is no longer in pain. Hugs, Donna R Dad  All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and doctors to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of hurting. He quickly fell asleep. Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that were extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would make it until Monday. Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to see him as he passed at 6 pm. Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 , Condolences to you and your family as you celebrate your father's life. He is no longer in pain. Hugs, Donna R Dad  All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and doctors to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of hurting. He quickly fell asleep. Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that were extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would make it until Monday. Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to see him as he passed at 6 pm. Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 , Condolences to you and your family as you celebrate your father's life. He is no longer in pain. Hugs, Donna R Dad  All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and doctors to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of hurting. He quickly fell asleep. Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that were extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would make it until Monday. Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to see him as he passed at 6 pm. Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 , My condolences on your loss. Robin > > All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and doctors > to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 , My condolences on your loss. Robin > > All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and doctors > to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 , My condolences to you and your family. Sending you strength. Courage From: Plouff Sent: Friday, June 22, 2012 11:18 PM To: LBDcaregivers Subject: Dad All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and doctors to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of hurting. He quickly fell asleep. Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that were extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would make it until Monday. Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to see him as he passed at 6 pm. Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 , My condolences to you and your family. Sending you strength. Courage From: Plouff Sent: Friday, June 22, 2012 11:18 PM To: LBDcaregivers Subject: Dad All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and doctors to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of hurting. He quickly fell asleep. Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that were extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would make it until Monday. Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to see him as he passed at 6 pm. Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 , My condolences to you and your family. Sending you strength. Courage From: Plouff Sent: Friday, June 22, 2012 11:18 PM To: LBDcaregivers Subject: Dad All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and doctors to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of hurting. He quickly fell asleep. Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that were extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would make it until Monday. Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to see him as he passed at 6 pm. Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 Dear , My deepest condolences to you and your family. You all fought the good fight. God bless you for all your efforts on your Dad's behalf. Thank you for sharing the struggle wth us.... sometimes it's just so hard to write... Sending hugs from NY, Helene (Mom, 78 - late stage - at home in the Bronx) > > All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and doctors > to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk > the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet > again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, > but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being > stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. > Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating > him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of > hurting. He quickly fell asleep. > > > > Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his > wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to > die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we > walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire > body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has > pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 > pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his > skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even > that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health > that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was > what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has > donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR > order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that were > extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable > until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would > make it until Monday. > > > > Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with > their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me > it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to > see him as he passed at 6 pm. > > > > Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was > fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 Dear , My deepest condolences to you and your family. You all fought the good fight. God bless you for all your efforts on your Dad's behalf. Thank you for sharing the struggle wth us.... sometimes it's just so hard to write... Sending hugs from NY, Helene (Mom, 78 - late stage - at home in the Bronx) > > All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and doctors > to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk > the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet > again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, > but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being > stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. > Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating > him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of > hurting. He quickly fell asleep. > > > > Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his > wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to > die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we > walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire > body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has > pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 > pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his > skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even > that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health > that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was > what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has > donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR > order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that were > extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable > until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would > make it until Monday. > > > > Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with > their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me > it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to > see him as he passed at 6 pm. > > > > Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was > fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 Dear , My deepest condolences to you and your family. You all fought the good fight. God bless you for all your efforts on your Dad's behalf. Thank you for sharing the struggle wth us.... sometimes it's just so hard to write... Sending hugs from NY, Helene (Mom, 78 - late stage - at home in the Bronx) > > All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and doctors > to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk > the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet > again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, > but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being > stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. > Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating > him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of > hurting. He quickly fell asleep. > > > > Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his > wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to > die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we > walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire > body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has > pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 > pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his > skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even > that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health > that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was > what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has > donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR > order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that were > extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable > until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would > make it until Monday. > > > > Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with > their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me > it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to > see him as he passed at 6 pm. > > > > Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was > fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 , God Bless you all. And so very sorry for your loss.The thought of your Dad being pain free and at peace has to provide some comfort. Please take care of yourself.  Jeff When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place. " ~ Unknown >________________________________ > >To: LBDcaregivers >Sent: Friday, June 22, 2012 11:18 PM >Subject: Dad > > > >All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and doctors >to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk >the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet >again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, >but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being >stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. >Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating >him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of >hurting. He quickly fell asleep. > >Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his >wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to >die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we >walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire >body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has >pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 >pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his >skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even >that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health >that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was >what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has >donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR >order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that were >extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable >until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would >make it until Monday. > >Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with >their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me >it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to >see him as he passed at 6 pm. > >Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was >fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 , My condolences to you for the loss of your Dad. I have found out myself, there are worse things than death. LBD or any dementia is in that category. I'm so sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 Dear , Please accept my condolences on the loss of your Dad. I pray you will soon be able to remember him in better days. Sending you strength and courage ! Judy > ** > > > All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and > doctors > to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk > the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet > again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, > but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being > stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. > Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating > him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of > hurting. He quickly fell asleep. > > Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his > wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to > die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we > walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire > body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has > pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 > pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his > skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even > that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health > that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was > what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has > donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR > order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that > were > extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable > until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would > make it until Monday. > > Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with > their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me > it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to > see him as he passed at 6 pm. > > Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was > fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 Dear , Please accept my condolences on the loss of your Dad. I pray you will soon be able to remember him in better days. Sending you strength and courage ! Judy > ** > > > All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and > doctors > to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk > the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet > again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, > but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being > stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. > Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating > him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of > hurting. He quickly fell asleep. > > Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his > wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to > die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we > walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire > body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has > pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 > pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his > skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even > that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health > that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was > what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has > donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR > order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that > were > extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable > until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would > make it until Monday. > > Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with > their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me > it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to > see him as he passed at 6 pm. > > Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was > fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 Dear , Your dad is at peace and hopefully you will feel blessed that he passed as he chose, when he chose, released of the ongoing pain he had been suffering. There was just too much that he couldn't fight any longer. Condolences to you and your family. > > All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and doctors > to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk > the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet > again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, > but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being > stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. > Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating > him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of > hurting. He quickly fell asleep. > > > > Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his > wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to > die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we > walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire > body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has > pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 > pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his > skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even > that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health > that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was > what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has > donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR > order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that were > extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable > until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would > make it until Monday. > > > > Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with > their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me > it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to > see him as he passed at 6 pm. > > > > Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was > fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 , You have my deepest sympathy on the loss of your dad. I know dealing with your grief will be hard in the months to come, but I hope you'll find comfort in the knowledge that you gave him the gift of controlling this last stage of his life. As my mom was dying, a palliative care nurse told us, " The body knows how to die. " Your message said to me that the spirit knows too. Love and prayers, Plouff wrote: >All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and doctors >to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk >the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet >again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, >but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being >stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. >Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating >him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of >hurting. He quickly fell asleep. > > > >Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his >wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to >die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we >walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire >body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has >pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 >pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his >skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even >that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health >that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was >what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has >donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR >order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that were >extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable >until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would >make it until Monday. > > > >Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with >their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me >it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to >see him as he passed at 6 pm. > > > >Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was >fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 , You have my deepest sympathy on the loss of your dad. I know dealing with your grief will be hard in the months to come, but I hope you'll find comfort in the knowledge that you gave him the gift of controlling this last stage of his life. As my mom was dying, a palliative care nurse told us, " The body knows how to die. " Your message said to me that the spirit knows too. Love and prayers, Plouff wrote: >All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and doctors >to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk >the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet >again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, >but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being >stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. >Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating >him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of >hurting. He quickly fell asleep. > > > >Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his >wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to >die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we >walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire >body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has >pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 >pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his >skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even >that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health >that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was >what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has >donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR >order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that were >extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable >until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would >make it until Monday. > > > >Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with >their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me >it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to >see him as he passed at 6 pm. > > > >Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was >fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 , please accept my condolances on the loss of your father. He knew what he wanted and fought for it. Sometimes I think we try too hard to keep our loved ones alive. And I am not sure for what. At any rate, he is beyond pain now. You have been dealt so many huge blows recently. I have you in my prayers. Nan > > All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and doctors > to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk > the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet > again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, > but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being > stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. > Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating > him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of > hurting. He quickly fell asleep. > > > > Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his > wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to > die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we > walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire > body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has > pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 > pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his > skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even > that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health > that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was > what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has > donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR > order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that were > extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable > until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would > make it until Monday. > > > > Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with > their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me > it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to > see him as he passed at 6 pm. > > > > Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was > fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 , please accept my condolances on the loss of your father. He knew what he wanted and fought for it. Sometimes I think we try too hard to keep our loved ones alive. And I am not sure for what. At any rate, he is beyond pain now. You have been dealt so many huge blows recently. I have you in my prayers. Nan > > All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and doctors > to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk > the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet > again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, > but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being > stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. > Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating > him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of > hurting. He quickly fell asleep. > > > > Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his > wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to > die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we > walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire > body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has > pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 > pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his > skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even > that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health > that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was > what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has > donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR > order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that were > extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable > until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would > make it until Monday. > > > > Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with > their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me > it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to > see him as he passed at 6 pm. > > > > Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was > fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 : I am so sorry for your loss!! He is no longer in pain. Sending you and your family a prayer!! Vivian > ** > > > , please accept my condolances on the loss of your father. He knew > what he wanted and fought for it. Sometimes I think we try too hard to keep > our loved ones alive. And I am not sure for what. At any rate, he is beyond > pain now. > > You have been dealt so many huge blows recently. I have you in my prayers. > Nan > > > > > > > All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and > doctors > > to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk > > the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet > > again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, > > but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just > being > > stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. > > Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in > medicating > > him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of > > hurting. He quickly fell asleep. > > > > > > > > Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his > > wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to > > die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we > > walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire > > body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he > has > > pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 > > pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his > > skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even > > that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health > > that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that > was > > what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has > > donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR > > order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that > were > > extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable > > until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he > would > > make it until Monday. > > > > > > > > Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came > with > > their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me > > it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to > > see him as he passed at 6 pm. > > > > > > > > Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was > > fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 : I am so sorry for your loss!! He is no longer in pain. Sending you and your family a prayer!! Vivian > ** > > > , please accept my condolances on the loss of your father. He knew > what he wanted and fought for it. Sometimes I think we try too hard to keep > our loved ones alive. And I am not sure for what. At any rate, he is beyond > pain now. > > You have been dealt so many huge blows recently. I have you in my prayers. > Nan > > > > > > > All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and > doctors > > to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk > > the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet > > again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, > > but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just > being > > stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. > > Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in > medicating > > him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of > > hurting. He quickly fell asleep. > > > > > > > > Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his > > wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to > > die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we > > walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire > > body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he > has > > pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 > > pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his > > skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even > > that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health > > that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that > was > > what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has > > donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR > > order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that > were > > extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable > > until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he > would > > make it until Monday. > > > > > > > > Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came > with > > their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me > > it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to > > see him as he passed at 6 pm. > > > > > > > > Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was > > fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 : wish to also add my condolences on the passing of your father. i still miss Mom (4 years) and dad (10 years). doesn't seem that long ago. your memories will tend toward the funny little things you remember about them. I consider them the fortunate ones in heaven and am glad their suffering is over. i think you made the right decision honoring the DNR and getting him to hospice. my prayers are for you and family, for peace and strength......gary (kay-LBD, wife) > ** > > > , please accept my condolances on the loss of your father. He knew > what he wanted and fought for it. Sometimes I think we try too hard to keep > our loved ones alive. And I am not sure for what. At any rate, he is beyond > pain now. > > You have been dealt so many huge blows recently. I have you in my prayers. > Nan > > > > > > > All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and > doctors > > to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk > > the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet > > again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, > > but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just > being > > stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. > > Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in > medicating > > him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of > > hurting. He quickly fell asleep. > > > > > > > > Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his > > wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to > > die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we > > walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire > > body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he > has > > pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 > > pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his > > skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even > > that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health > > that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that > was > > what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has > > donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR > > order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that > were > > extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable > > until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he > would > > make it until Monday. > > > > > > > > Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came > with > > their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me > > it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to > > see him as he passed at 6 pm. > > > > > > > > Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was > > fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 25, 2012 Report Share Posted June 25, 2012 My condolences to you and your family, . Bless you all for recognizing your father's need and honoring it. No second guessing, now. You did what your dad wanted you to do and that is the most loving thing any family can do. How wonderful to have his guidance throughout and his blessing at your parting. Kate > ** > > > All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and > doctors > to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk > the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet > again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, > but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being > stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. > Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating > him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of > hurting. He quickly fell asleep. > > Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his > wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to > die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we > walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire > body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has > pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 > pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his > skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even > that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health > that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was > what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has > donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR > order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that > were > extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable > until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would > make it until Monday. > > Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with > their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me > it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to > see him as he passed at 6 pm. > > Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was > fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 25, 2012 Report Share Posted June 25, 2012 My condolences to you and your family, . Bless you all for recognizing your father's need and honoring it. No second guessing, now. You did what your dad wanted you to do and that is the most loving thing any family can do. How wonderful to have his guidance throughout and his blessing at your parting. Kate > ** > > > All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and > doctors > to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk > the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet > again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried, > but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being > stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong. > Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating > him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of > hurting. He quickly fell asleep. > > Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his > wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to > die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we > walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire > body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has > pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60 > pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his > skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even > that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health > that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was > what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has > donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR > order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that > were > extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable > until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would > make it until Monday. > > Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with > their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me > it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to > see him as he passed at 6 pm. > > Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was > fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore; > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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