Re: Dad

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

Your dad is at peace and hopefully you will feel blessed that he passed as he

chose, when he chose, released of the ongoing pain he had been suffering. There

was just too much that he couldn't fight any longer. Condolences to you and

your family.

>

> All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and doctors

> to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk

> the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet

> again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried,

> but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being

> stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong.

> Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating

> him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of

> hurting. He quickly fell asleep.

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> Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his

> wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to

> die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we

> walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire

> body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has

> pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60

> pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his

> skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even

> that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health

> that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was

> what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has

> donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR

> order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that were

> extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable

> until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would

> make it until Monday.

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> Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with

> their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me

> it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to

> see him as he passed at 6 pm.

>

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> Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was

> fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore;

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