Re: Re: options for elderly

[Guest guest]

Excellent advice from Robin. I'm glad the finances have worked out, though.

, this is a difficult topic, but palliative care isn't only for people

with dementia and if your dad is making a decision not to eat, this is the

time for that discussion (if you haven't already had it). If it is pain

that keeps him from eating, and he has not made this decision, his doctor

and the dietitian need to change things. But from what you've said, this

is coming from your dad. Do you think this is what's going on? Have you

had that talk with him? It really does help to have everything discussed

and in the open. It makes what follows easier for everyone to deal with.

If this is what is happening, please accept the cyber hugs I'm sending.

You're in for a rough couple of weeks or more. I wish I could do more for

you.

Kate

> **

>

>

> Thank you Robin. Actually I met with the Social Worker at hospice today.

> She said he is eligible due to the level of pain he is in. I saw him today

> and for the first time in a week he looked content, and he was sleeping.

> This entire battle has taken so much out of him. The SW indicated he might

> never go home if he doesn't start eating. He is only eating two or three

> bites per meal (that he does eat, but he misses most) and very little

> fluids. He has lost so much weight. I will hold off on the Pain Society

> until/unless they discharge him. But for now, he is there.

>

>

>

> From: LBDcaregivers [mailto:LBDcaregivers ]

> On Behalf Of rriddle_travel

> Sent: Thursday, June 21, 2012 12:36 PM

> To: LBDcaregivers

> Subject: Re: options for elderly

>

>

> ,

>

> What a lousy situation!

>

> Will the insurance pay for an inpatient stay at a pain center? The

> Integrative Pain Center of Arizona, in Tucson, has a great reputation. I'm

> guessing they have an inpatient program but you can check. The American

> Pain

> Society (ampainsoc.org) may have a list of inpatient pain programs.

> Hopefully they can get the pain under control and then you'd have more

> options.

>

> By " senior services, " do you mean the local agency on aging? They had no

> ideas for you??

>

> I'm surprised your father would be eligible for hospice.

>

> Can you see an elder law attorney? Perhaps it's best if your parents get

> divorced. Then maybe your dad would qualify for Medicaid?

>

> Robin

>

>

> >

> > Hi group. I am in Phoenix helping my parents. My poor husband is at home

> > with friends checking on his condition with his LBD and FTD. My Dad is

> not

> > affected by any memory issues, thank goodness, but I do have a problem I

> am

> > hoping the group can help me with . My Dad is 80 and recently became

> > paralyzed from the waist down. It started about 3 weeks ago with

> > incontinence and then he lost feeling in his feet. One day he collapsed

> and

> > has never stood since. He had emergency surgery because his problem was

> > diagnosed as a pinched spinal cord (arthritis) and the prognosis was

> 50-50,

> > IF he did rigorous PT. I should also mention that due to many previous

> > surgeries and other issues, he is in chronic pain. That resulted in

> > addiction to prescription drugs.

> >

> >

> >

> > So, here is was in a rehab facility screaming in pain at the PT and

> begging

> > for drugs. When they did not dope him to the level he wanted (he just

> wants

> > to be in a stupor and sleep) he started begging family to bring in drugs.

> > He realized he was not going to walk again, or regain continence because

> he

> > " could not do PT due to pain. " Real or imagined, we don't know but he

> > started telling everyone who would listen he wanted to die and it hurt

> too

> > much to do PT. Then he wanted family to give him enough drugs so he could

> > kill himself, but of course, we will not do it.

> >

> > All his antics got him was a boot out of the rehab center. We learned

> > because of his loud protests and refusals to rehab there was nowhere else

> to

> > go but hospice since his insurance denied him anywhere else.

> >

> >

> >

> > Mom is blind and cannot care for him at home, but much to his dismay, he

> is

> > not dying and despite numerous health issues, including cancer, he is

> > nowhere close to death.

> >

> >

> >

> > So, what I need help with are options, if any. They really want him home,

> > but they cannot afford home care. I live 2500 miles away and with Len

> > having Lewy, I need my job and insurance, so I cannot help.. I have a

> full

> > plate already. I called senior services yesterday and although none of

> the

> > medical bills have come in yet, what they have in the bank disqualifies

> > them from almost all assistance except help with the insurance premium.

> > Hospice said they could help a few days a week with bathing, etc, but

> > speaking with others who used them, they do not really do that. Their

> > visits are short and they don't help. He is not a veteran. Due to being

> > blind, mom can't begin to keep him clean. Is there anything else I

> haven't

> > tried?

> >

> >

> >

> > Your help and input would be much appreciated. This is uncharted

> territory

> > for me.

> >

> >

> >

> > Thank you,

> >

> >

> >

> > caregiver to Len, diagnosed with PD 12/10, LBD 1/12, FTD 5/12

> >

> >

> >

> >