Dad

[Guest guest]

All week I have watched Dad fight and argue with nursing, family and doctors

to leave him alone, he hurt and was done with life. He had so much spunk

the doctors tried to force physical therapy on him to get him on his feet

again, and hopefully help the incontinence. He did the surgery and tried,

but he was in too much pain. We thought, all of us, that he was just being

stubborn and wanted his prescription drugs. I think we were all wrong.

Wednesday night we moved him to hospice and they lost no time in medicating

him. Their specialty is pain management and he said he was tired of

hurting. He quickly fell asleep.

Kathy and I returned home, talking along the way. We agreed to honor his

wishes, as much as it hurt us both, we love him that much. If he wants to

die, we won't fight a battle he doesn't want to fight. Yesterday when we

walked in, we saw a different man. The swelling was gone from his entire

body and he looked frail and weak. He has lost so much weight since he has

pretty much quit eating for the last few months. My guess is roughly 60

pounds. I could see his skin hanging on his arms, and his bones under his

skin. I had no idea that the swelling he had was hiding all that or even

that he was holding that much fluid. It had given the illusion of health

that wasn't there. It made us wonder if his cancer had spread and that was

what was responsible for the pain he felt. We won't know since he has

donated his body to science and it will not be autopsied. He has a DNR

order on file and said he refuses to have any life-giving measures that were

extraordinary, such as a feeding tube. He just wants to stay comfortable

until his time comes. And after the doctor saw him he didn't think he would

make it until Monday.

Today we returned and were able to talk to him some. My brothers came with

their children. At 4:00 I stopped by and told him I loved him. He told me

it was time to say good-bye he wanted to sleep now. I was the last one to

see him as he passed at 6 pm.

Thank you all of you for your help and suggestions when I thought I was

fighting a different battle. He finally isn't in pain anymore;