Re: Looking toward in-home care as next step

[Guest guest]

Ask your mom how she would feel about having a caregiver, perhaps a male

caregiver, checking on your dad several times a night with her sleeping

right there. I think that would be harder than separate beds.

My grandmother changed from a double bed to single beds when it became

difficult to share a bed with my grandfather (dx AZ, but probable LBD,

1965). But they continued to share a bedroom and she had the beds close

together. I know that sometimes they held hands when they slept. This was

also a long-married couple who built a farm together, survived the Great

Depression with farm intact together, raised 4 children together and never

slept separately, except for when Grandpa was in the hospital. They may

have had single beds, but they still slept together.

You might, though, encourage your mother to keep some things in the guest

room for times when your dad has difficulties. Delusions and

hallucinations can even make it dangerous for her to sleep close to him.

Even if she does move into the guest room completely, leaving some of her

things in the bedroom they shared could be comforting to your dad. It

might help him understand that she is still there.

Kate

> **

>

>

> Considering the limited financial resources of my parents, in-home care

> will most likely be the next step of assistance for them. Dad's LBD is

> manageable and he does well overall, though he is experiencing delusions

> and hallucinations again. Hopefully, they may ebb some with increased

> medication and/or his level of fear and determination to combat them will

> level off.

>

> Unless and until he becomes incontinent or uncooperative with bathing,

> clothing, etc, the biggest problem continues to be bedtime and " sleeping

> with a stranger " -when he does not recognize Mom at bedtime. I have trouble

> picturing any of the possible " solutions " -maybe better termed,

> " responses " . Single beds instead of their double bed, or Mom sleeps in the

> guest room, or a night time caregiver... See, for a couple who have been

> joined at the hip for over 60years, I can't even picture implementing any

> of these. Not sleeping in their same spot, in the same bed, in the same

> room together --alone in their own home--presents a huge adjustment. I just

> can't conclude, yet, what might be the best first step toward more

> practical and helpful sleeping arrangement changes.

>

> --Hard to picture them comfortable with someone in their home over

> night...but I know that Mom will need " back-up " and it won't be long before

> it's too much for me to supply. Physically, I know it will be more than I

> can handle, pretty quickly, as it will mess with my very needed rest...I

> don't think they can afford assisted living, at least as far as I've looked

> so far...

>

> Any advice in this?

>

> Thanks, Ida

>

>

>

--

Kate Knapp, OIT

University of Minnesota

You were born with certain gifts and talents.

In kindergarten you were taught to share.

The world needs all of the gifts it can get.

Don’t be shy.