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Re: Dad is at peace

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Lori,

My condolences on the passing of your father. Sending you and your family

strength.

Courage

From: twomido@...

Sent: Friday, August 24, 2012 9:48 AM

To: LBDcaregivers

Subject: Re: Dad is at peace

Lori,

Sending you and your family many hugs and condolences. It is a hard journey for

those of us who travel it. I hope you find some relief that your Dad didn't

have to continue in his pain but has passed to a better world.

Hugs,

Donna R

Dad is at peace

I just wanted to share with you all that Dad passed away on August 9th. We

didn’t have a great deal of warning, other than two to three days of minimal

responsiveness. One day he was sleeping very hard and completely non-responsive,

but that evening he responded to us some and asked for fluid. At that point, his

swallowing had gotten so bad that we could only swab his mouth for him. Thank

God we had gotten hospice involved in the last few weeks; we expected this to go

on many more years, but were concerned about end of life issues without hospice

so we had him involved on a month long ‘trial’, where they listed him as

‘failure to thrive’ rather than as having dementia; unbelievably they could

not have him in hospice for dementia because he could speak more than six words.

That shocked me as a very strange contingency. He had been losing weight and

having trouble eating, but we really didn’t expect this loss as he was only

diagnosed two years ago. I am experiencing very mixed feelings; such intense

relief that Dad is not suffering with this beastly disease, but it is still the

loss, or the final loss, of my father. We were quite close. Although he was in a

nursing home most of the time since January, Mom was there pretty much daily,

and I was there very close to daily, for hours at a time each occasion; he

didn’t expect a visit, he expected you to entertain him each day. He had

horrible hallucinations that were very violent and we were working on medication

management for that, so he was genuinely suffering terribly. So many people

assume that if your loved one is in a nursing home, you aren’t really dealing

with them any more to the extent of other people, but I can tell you that if you

spend 3-4 hours there per day, feeding and tending to that loved one, and then

going home only to wait for phone calls that he is causing disturbances, it is

exhausting to say the least. I remain somewhat numb but it is getting better,

although I have a lot of physical symptoms from the stress. Mom is holding up

well, but has been ill and requiring strong antibiotics as well. So I continue

to pray for her, as well as Dad.

Thank you all for all the information you offer and the support. I haven’t

written often but have taken in all that has been said.

Sincerely,

Lori

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with

them, and every new dog that comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their

heart. If I live long enough all of the components of my heart will be dog, and

I will become as generous and loving as they are. ~Anonymous~

www.aldf.org

www.ifaw.org

www.fundforanimals.org

www.oceanconservancy.org

www.aspca.org

www.ddal.org

www.greenpeace.org

www.nrdc.org

www.pcrm.org

www.edf.org

www.ncpa.org

www.audobon.org

www.bestfriends.org

www.nwf.org

www.wwf.org

www.defenders.org

www.nature.org

www.nhes.org

www.wolf.org

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