I am new to RA

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I had just been diagnosed with RA. I was having pain in all my

joints when I went to the Doctors. She tested me and sent me for X-

rays. Then she told me the news. I thought it was nothing. Until I

started reading up on it. I soon found out this was definitely

something. I started feeling worse and worse everyday. I made an

appointment with the Ra Doctor. It can't come soon enough. I am in so

much pain, I have lost my appetite, I am so depressed, and I am not

sleeping very well. I take so much alleve during the day just so I

can work with out complaining very much. I need to work, my Husband

and I don't make a lot of money. I used to love my job. I work with

mentally and physically disabled adults. I lift and transfer them and

take them to the bathroom and bathe them. I have been doing this work

for almost 10 years. It doesn't pay much but I love to take care of

them. They deserve so much respect. I take care of 22 people in a

day. It is supposed to be only 7 people to 1 person, but my work

doesn't think I need any help since I have been doing this for 2

years without any help. Now I am slowing down and I can't take care

of my people like I used to and my work is looking at me like I am a

wounded animal and have to be taken out back and shot. I am trying to

find some type of work that I could do that doesn't require physical

work but I don't know what I would be good at. So I have been putting

my resume out there, I haven't heard back from anyone yet. In the

time being I am so scared I am going to lose my job before I get a

new one because I can't do it like I used to. And I haven't even

taken a day off because of this I am just slowing down quite a bit.

When I get home at night I can't do anything. I just lay on the couch

crying and complaining about how much I hurt. My Husband has taken up

much of the housework and cooking. I feel so bad about this. I feel

like my life has been stolen away from me. I just started it!!!!! I

don't even have children yet. I am only 31. I just got married last

September. Our life was supposed to get easier not harder. I don't

know what to do. Or what to expect in my life. How am I supposed to

make plans in my life if I don't know what I am going to be like

later on? I am so scared. What am I supposed to do?