Guest guest Posted August 23, 2012 Report Share Posted August 23, 2012 Helene: You have been the best of daughters, you loved your mother, cared for her and even though you were living your own life and sharing hers, you still found time to come to us with helpful suggestions and advice. I hope you will feel the warmth surround you as you get used to life without your mother. Just remember that surely she must be in a better place and will be watching over you from above. Love and best wishes for peace in the days ahead. Hugs too! Leona Leona: Caregiver for husband Ray, age 68, diagnosed 2/04 with Parkinson's Disease. Changed doctors, diagnosed 6/06 with LBD. Almost continual downhill slide no matter what drugs we try. 5/2/08 Ray was placed in Sunrise Nursing Home in Oswego, NY, 1 hour from home. So far, so good! Hardest thing I have ever done in my life, however. 3/19/09 transferred to Samaritan Keep NH in Watertown, NY closer to home. He passed peacefully at 5:18 am on April 14, 2009. I am handling it OK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 24, 2012 Report Share Posted August 24, 2012 My condolences Helene, you were a wonderful daughter. You mother was blessed to have you. May your memories of her help you .... Heddy > > Hello all, > > I am writing to let you know that my Mom has won her battle with LBD at her home in the Bronx (NY) on Saturday morning, August 18th. She died peacefully in her sleep, and for that we are grateful. It had gotten to the point where chewing was often something that did not happen, and sometimes swallowing was an issue, but we were still able to get food into her. I am grateful for that as well. > > I am numb... but with every day it gets a bit easier. It is a very surreal feeling. > > My mom was this little woman (literally - not more than 4 foot 10), who endured so much in her lifetime, yet worried about everyone around her before she worried about herself. She fought the good fight with every breath she took. She didn't have many physical posessions, but that didn't matter to her. She was most proud of the family that she created and supported with her love, and yes, her criticisms (what Jewish mother doesn't do that?!). She left behind a rich legacy - children and grandchildren that are good and decent human beings. > > When we got home from the cemetary, I lit my 7 day candle, what I call the candle of misery. With my family around me, I told God how angry I was that my Mom had to suffer at the beginning of her life during the Holocaust, and at the end of her life, having been stricken with Lewy Body Dementia (LBD) at about 66 years old, for at least the last 12 years. The accompanying Parkinsons added insult to injury. > > For many many years, I've been doing cooking on Fridays, and going up to take care of Mom on Saturdays. I've had to take off from work many times to get stuff done. We've had to run up to the Bronx some evenings just to make sure that the phone was put back in the cradle, so she could receive calls. We live on Long Island, and the ride took anywhere from 35 minutes to over an hour, depending on traffic and the time of day. Those of you that live in NY know what a pain in the neck the Whitestone and Throgs Neck bridge can be, particularly during rush hour. We are also dealing with my father in law's advancing Alzheimer's - he is 92 years old, and is probably mid-stage. He is not at home, but in a senior hotel with an aide, and it is working out very well for him. > > We lost touch with a lot of people, simply because we weren't free to go out, or when we didn't have to be anywhere, we were happy to just be at home to recoup our strength - mental more than physical. One person got very angry with me because I wouldn't bring her to visit my Mom in her late stage of this disease. My Mom wouldn't have wanted anyone to see her like that. > > When I reflect back on these last 12 or so years, I realize that I would do it all again for my Mom (and my aunt) in a heartbeat. My Mom wanted to stay at home until the very end, and I am grateful we were able to grant her wish. My aunt was the primary caregiver, but we had aides in the house for most of the day for quite a while now. I had Calvary at the house for the last few months, and they were really a Godsend; if you need hospice in NY, they are the people to call. They have a wound care center, too, that is just incredible -staffed with wonderful, knowledgeable people that are so kind and caring. Feel free to contact me individually if you want information. > > I am grateful that she was able to die in peace, in her sleep, 26 years to the day after her own mother passed away. I like to think that my Grandma came to get her and bring her home. > > Thank you and Donna R, for all the work that you do. Thank you to all the wonderful people who contributed to this yahoo group, and helped me in so many ways in my efforts to help my Mom get through this. From information to emotional support, I always knew I could come here and ask a question, or vent my feelings. > > And, a special thanks to Norma Loeb, the NY/LI support group leader. What a godsend you have been, Norma, and I am lucky to consider you a friend, too. > > Sorry for the length of this email..... > > Sending love to you all, > Helene in NY > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 24, 2012 Report Share Posted August 24, 2012 My condolences Helene, you were a wonderful daughter. You mother was blessed to have you. May your memories of her help you .... Heddy > > Hello all, > > I am writing to let you know that my Mom has won her battle with LBD at her home in the Bronx (NY) on Saturday morning, August 18th. She died peacefully in her sleep, and for that we are grateful. It had gotten to the point where chewing was often something that did not happen, and sometimes swallowing was an issue, but we were still able to get food into her. I am grateful for that as well. > > I am numb... but with every day it gets a bit easier. It is a very surreal feeling. > > My mom was this little woman (literally - not more than 4 foot 10), who endured so much in her lifetime, yet worried about everyone around her before she worried about herself. She fought the good fight with every breath she took. She didn't have many physical posessions, but that didn't matter to her. She was most proud of the family that she created and supported with her love, and yes, her criticisms (what Jewish mother doesn't do that?!). She left behind a rich legacy - children and grandchildren that are good and decent human beings. > > When we got home from the cemetary, I lit my 7 day candle, what I call the candle of misery. With my family around me, I told God how angry I was that my Mom had to suffer at the beginning of her life during the Holocaust, and at the end of her life, having been stricken with Lewy Body Dementia (LBD) at about 66 years old, for at least the last 12 years. The accompanying Parkinsons added insult to injury. > > For many many years, I've been doing cooking on Fridays, and going up to take care of Mom on Saturdays. I've had to take off from work many times to get stuff done. We've had to run up to the Bronx some evenings just to make sure that the phone was put back in the cradle, so she could receive calls. We live on Long Island, and the ride took anywhere from 35 minutes to over an hour, depending on traffic and the time of day. Those of you that live in NY know what a pain in the neck the Whitestone and Throgs Neck bridge can be, particularly during rush hour. We are also dealing with my father in law's advancing Alzheimer's - he is 92 years old, and is probably mid-stage. He is not at home, but in a senior hotel with an aide, and it is working out very well for him. > > We lost touch with a lot of people, simply because we weren't free to go out, or when we didn't have to be anywhere, we were happy to just be at home to recoup our strength - mental more than physical. One person got very angry with me because I wouldn't bring her to visit my Mom in her late stage of this disease. My Mom wouldn't have wanted anyone to see her like that. > > When I reflect back on these last 12 or so years, I realize that I would do it all again for my Mom (and my aunt) in a heartbeat. My Mom wanted to stay at home until the very end, and I am grateful we were able to grant her wish. My aunt was the primary caregiver, but we had aides in the house for most of the day for quite a while now. I had Calvary at the house for the last few months, and they were really a Godsend; if you need hospice in NY, they are the people to call. They have a wound care center, too, that is just incredible -staffed with wonderful, knowledgeable people that are so kind and caring. Feel free to contact me individually if you want information. > > I am grateful that she was able to die in peace, in her sleep, 26 years to the day after her own mother passed away. I like to think that my Grandma came to get her and bring her home. > > Thank you and Donna R, for all the work that you do. Thank you to all the wonderful people who contributed to this yahoo group, and helped me in so many ways in my efforts to help my Mom get through this. From information to emotional support, I always knew I could come here and ask a question, or vent my feelings. > > And, a special thanks to Norma Loeb, the NY/LI support group leader. What a godsend you have been, Norma, and I am lucky to consider you a friend, too. > > Sorry for the length of this email..... > > Sending love to you all, > Helene in NY > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 24, 2012 Report Share Posted August 24, 2012 My condolences Helene, you were a wonderful daughter. You mother was blessed to have you. May your memories of her help you .... Heddy > > Hello all, > > I am writing to let you know that my Mom has won her battle with LBD at her home in the Bronx (NY) on Saturday morning, August 18th. She died peacefully in her sleep, and for that we are grateful. It had gotten to the point where chewing was often something that did not happen, and sometimes swallowing was an issue, but we were still able to get food into her. I am grateful for that as well. > > I am numb... but with every day it gets a bit easier. It is a very surreal feeling. > > My mom was this little woman (literally - not more than 4 foot 10), who endured so much in her lifetime, yet worried about everyone around her before she worried about herself. She fought the good fight with every breath she took. She didn't have many physical posessions, but that didn't matter to her. She was most proud of the family that she created and supported with her love, and yes, her criticisms (what Jewish mother doesn't do that?!). She left behind a rich legacy - children and grandchildren that are good and decent human beings. > > When we got home from the cemetary, I lit my 7 day candle, what I call the candle of misery. With my family around me, I told God how angry I was that my Mom had to suffer at the beginning of her life during the Holocaust, and at the end of her life, having been stricken with Lewy Body Dementia (LBD) at about 66 years old, for at least the last 12 years. The accompanying Parkinsons added insult to injury. > > For many many years, I've been doing cooking on Fridays, and going up to take care of Mom on Saturdays. I've had to take off from work many times to get stuff done. We've had to run up to the Bronx some evenings just to make sure that the phone was put back in the cradle, so she could receive calls. We live on Long Island, and the ride took anywhere from 35 minutes to over an hour, depending on traffic and the time of day. Those of you that live in NY know what a pain in the neck the Whitestone and Throgs Neck bridge can be, particularly during rush hour. We are also dealing with my father in law's advancing Alzheimer's - he is 92 years old, and is probably mid-stage. He is not at home, but in a senior hotel with an aide, and it is working out very well for him. > > We lost touch with a lot of people, simply because we weren't free to go out, or when we didn't have to be anywhere, we were happy to just be at home to recoup our strength - mental more than physical. One person got very angry with me because I wouldn't bring her to visit my Mom in her late stage of this disease. My Mom wouldn't have wanted anyone to see her like that. > > When I reflect back on these last 12 or so years, I realize that I would do it all again for my Mom (and my aunt) in a heartbeat. My Mom wanted to stay at home until the very end, and I am grateful we were able to grant her wish. My aunt was the primary caregiver, but we had aides in the house for most of the day for quite a while now. I had Calvary at the house for the last few months, and they were really a Godsend; if you need hospice in NY, they are the people to call. They have a wound care center, too, that is just incredible -staffed with wonderful, knowledgeable people that are so kind and caring. Feel free to contact me individually if you want information. > > I am grateful that she was able to die in peace, in her sleep, 26 years to the day after her own mother passed away. I like to think that my Grandma came to get her and bring her home. > > Thank you and Donna R, for all the work that you do. Thank you to all the wonderful people who contributed to this yahoo group, and helped me in so many ways in my efforts to help my Mom get through this. From information to emotional support, I always knew I could come here and ask a question, or vent my feelings. > > And, a special thanks to Norma Loeb, the NY/LI support group leader. What a godsend you have been, Norma, and I am lucky to consider you a friend, too. > > Sorry for the length of this email..... > > Sending love to you all, > Helene in NY > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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