Re: Re: accepting care

[Guest guest]

's right. The only reason Mom tolerated senior daycare was for my

sake - so that I wouldn't have to give up my job. Eventually, going there

became " school " or her " job, " and then she would be upset if she didn't go.

Mom's will do lots of things for their kids that they would fight doing for

themselves. And they hate admitting weakness.

Kate

> **

>

>

> In response to your request, mouse, I offer this suggestion. I would tell

> her it is help for you, not her. If you place the focus on you rather than

> her, she will feel she is doing something for you. This is how we did it

> with my Dad who recently passed away and had LBD.

>

> Now, my Mom is showing signs of Alzheimer's, so I am using the same

> tactics on her, but she is not aware of them. Mothers want to help their

> children, so if you place the focus on help for you and not her, she will

> probably be more agreeable. Many prayers,

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi & Mouse,

I have recently joined the group. Have been reading through the many challenges

that we are facing as caregivers and it's nice knowing I'm not alone.

It has been a difficult journey since my mother was diagnosed last Fall She

lives with me and my family and it has been a challenge to say the least. Who

would have thought this disease could turn a self sufficient, independent woman

into an almost helpless soul. It saddens me more and more each day to see what

she has become. The worst part is she realizes what she has become and that has

to be the hardest part of it all.

My prayers go out to all that are caregivers, seek caregivers and the lived ones

that have been taken over by this disease.

Marvalous

Sent from my iPhone

In response to your request, mouse, I offer this suggestion. I would tell her it

is help for you, not her. If you place the focus on you rather than her, she

will feel she is doing something for you. This is how we did it with my Dad who

recently passed away and had LBD.

Now, my Mom is showing signs of Alzheimer's, so I am using the same tactics on

her, but she is not aware of them. Mothers want to help their children, so if

you place the focus on help for you and not her, she will probably be more

agreeable. Many prayers,

[Guest guest]

Hi & Mouse,

I have recently joined the group. Have been reading through the many challenges

that we are facing as caregivers and it's nice knowing I'm not alone.

It has been a difficult journey since my mother was diagnosed last Fall She

lives with me and my family and it has been a challenge to say the least. Who

would have thought this disease could turn a self sufficient, independent woman

into an almost helpless soul. It saddens me more and more each day to see what

she has become. The worst part is she realizes what she has become and that has

to be the hardest part of it all.

My prayers go out to all that are caregivers, seek caregivers and the lived ones

that have been taken over by this disease.

Marvalous

Sent from my iPhone

In response to your request, mouse, I offer this suggestion. I would tell her it

is help for you, not her. If you place the focus on you rather than her, she

will feel she is doing something for you. This is how we did it with my Dad who

recently passed away and had LBD.

Now, my Mom is showing signs of Alzheimer's, so I am using the same tactics on

her, but she is not aware of them. Mothers want to help their children, so if

you place the focus on help for you and not her, she will probably be more

agreeable. Many prayers,

[Guest guest]

Hi & Mouse,

I have recently joined the group. Have been reading through the many challenges

that we are facing as caregivers and it's nice knowing I'm not alone.

It has been a difficult journey since my mother was diagnosed last Fall She

lives with me and my family and it has been a challenge to say the least. Who

would have thought this disease could turn a self sufficient, independent woman

into an almost helpless soul. It saddens me more and more each day to see what

she has become. The worst part is she realizes what she has become and that has

to be the hardest part of it all.

My prayers go out to all that are caregivers, seek caregivers and the lived ones

that have been taken over by this disease.

Marvalous

Sent from my iPhone

In response to your request, mouse, I offer this suggestion. I would tell her it

is help for you, not her. If you place the focus on you rather than her, she

will feel she is doing something for you. This is how we did it with my Dad who

recently passed away and had LBD.

Now, my Mom is showing signs of Alzheimer's, so I am using the same tactics on

her, but she is not aware of them. Mothers want to help their children, so if

you place the focus on help for you and not her, she will probably be more

agreeable. Many prayers,

[Guest guest]

Hi Heddy,

 

I'm glad it's working for you and for her. My Mom has started to see little

children now from time to time. I reminded her about when Daddy saw them and her

explanation was, 'Well the book on grief said people sometimes have

hallucinations.' So I let it alone.

 

She is still up and about, but talks a lot, mostly repeating herself. My sister

and her husband are here today to take her home with them for a 'vacation.' We

have to substitute the real reasons, but she went for it.

 

They live in a larger area with a better senior citizens facility. She will be

going there daily for recreation, lunch, and to enjoy herself. We are hoping she

will like this place so much that she will want to stay, but right now we aren't

pushing her.

 

She is unable to 'decide' what she wants to do. My Dad was not a people person

and didn't like to leave the house. She enjoys being around people at this time.

I'm hoping she will continue.

 

Who would have thought the children would be making decisions for their

parents...........I'm thankful that my children are grown and at least I don't

have to take care of them as well. So many of us have to take care of both and

I'm sure it is much more difficult.

 

This group has so many answers and they have helped me deal with this disease

much better, even though I am a nurse. I have used many of the techniques with

my patients and witnessed good results. I am so glad I found the LBD forum.

Will let you know how things progress or decline, however, you know what I mean.

Many prayers to you and all the others who visit LBD Forum.

 

 

 

________________________________

To: LBDcaregivers

Sent: Saturday, July 28, 2012 7:38 AM

Subject: Re: accepting care

 

Hi ,

thanks for the suggestion that I tell her its for me not her. The staff at

rehab did that, in addition to telling her she needed to go along with their

plans to get VNA services. I agreed to split the coverage of 24 hr care with a

caregiver for 12 hours.

We had to discuss this 2 or 3 more times because the first agency we chose did

not deliver. During a subsequent conversation when she was yelling at me, I

yelled back, " I can't do this alone. I have to get ready for school. " She said

she'd spend the money for me, not her....

Thanks... for the suggestion. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you.

Hope your mom is doing ok, and that you and the family are ok too

Heddy

>

> In response to your request, mouse, I offer this suggestion. I would tell her

it is help for you, not her. If you place the focus on you rather than her, she

will feel she is doing something for you. This is how we did it with my Dad who

recently passed away and had LBD.

>

> Now, my Mom is showing signs of Alzheimer's, so I am using the same tactics on

her, but she is not aware of them. Mothers want to help their children, so if

you place the focus on help for you and not her, she will probably be more

agreeable. Many prayers,

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Heddy,

 

I'm glad it's working for you and for her. My Mom has started to see little

children now from time to time. I reminded her about when Daddy saw them and her

explanation was, 'Well the book on grief said people sometimes have

hallucinations.' So I let it alone.

 

She is still up and about, but talks a lot, mostly repeating herself. My sister

and her husband are here today to take her home with them for a 'vacation.' We

have to substitute the real reasons, but she went for it.

 

They live in a larger area with a better senior citizens facility. She will be

going there daily for recreation, lunch, and to enjoy herself. We are hoping she

will like this place so much that she will want to stay, but right now we aren't

pushing her.

 

She is unable to 'decide' what she wants to do. My Dad was not a people person

and didn't like to leave the house. She enjoys being around people at this time.

I'm hoping she will continue.

 

Who would have thought the children would be making decisions for their

parents...........I'm thankful that my children are grown and at least I don't

have to take care of them as well. So many of us have to take care of both and

I'm sure it is much more difficult.

 

This group has so many answers and they have helped me deal with this disease

much better, even though I am a nurse. I have used many of the techniques with

my patients and witnessed good results. I am so glad I found the LBD forum.

Will let you know how things progress or decline, however, you know what I mean.

Many prayers to you and all the others who visit LBD Forum.

 

 

 

________________________________

To: LBDcaregivers

Sent: Saturday, July 28, 2012 7:38 AM

Subject: Re: accepting care

 

Hi ,

thanks for the suggestion that I tell her its for me not her. The staff at

rehab did that, in addition to telling her she needed to go along with their

plans to get VNA services. I agreed to split the coverage of 24 hr care with a

caregiver for 12 hours.

We had to discuss this 2 or 3 more times because the first agency we chose did

not deliver. During a subsequent conversation when she was yelling at me, I

yelled back, " I can't do this alone. I have to get ready for school. " She said

she'd spend the money for me, not her....

Thanks... for the suggestion. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you.

Hope your mom is doing ok, and that you and the family are ok too

Heddy

>

> In response to your request, mouse, I offer this suggestion. I would tell her

it is help for you, not her. If you place the focus on you rather than her, she

will feel she is doing something for you. This is how we did it with my Dad who

recently passed away and had LBD.

>

> Now, my Mom is showing signs of Alzheimer's, so I am using the same tactics on

her, but she is not aware of them. Mothers want to help their children, so if

you place the focus on help for you and not her, she will probably be more

agreeable. Many prayers,

>

>