Guest guest Posted August 22, 2012 Report Share Posted August 22, 2012 I just wanted to share with you all that Dad passed away on August 9th. We didn’t have a great deal of warning, other than two to three days of minimal responsiveness. One day he was sleeping very hard and completely non-responsive, but that evening he responded to us some and asked for fluid. At that point, his swallowing had gotten so bad that we could only swab his mouth for him. Thank God we had gotten hospice involved in the last few weeks; we expected this to go on many more years, but were concerned about end of life issues without hospice so we had him involved on a month long ‘trial’, where they listed him as ‘failure to thrive’ rather than as having dementia; unbelievably they could not have him in hospice for dementia because he could speak more than six words. That shocked me as a very strange contingency. He had been losing weight and having trouble eating, but we really didn’t expect this loss as he was only diagnosed two years ago. I am experiencing very mixed feelings; such intense relief that Dad is not suffering with this beastly disease, but it is still the loss, or the final loss, of my father. We were quite close. Although he was in a nursing home most of the time since January, Mom was there pretty much daily, and I was there very close to daily, for hours at a time each occasion; he didn’t expect a visit, he expected you to entertain him each day. He had horrible hallucinations that were very violent and we were working on medication management for that, so he was genuinely suffering terribly. So many people assume that if your loved one is in a nursing home, you aren’t really dealing with them any more to the extent of other people, but I can tell you that if you spend 3-4 hours there per day, feeding and tending to that loved one, and then going home only to wait for phone calls that he is causing disturbances, it is exhausting to say the least. I remain somewhat numb but it is getting better, although I have a lot of physical symptoms from the stress. Mom is holding up well, but has been ill and requiring strong antibiotics as well. So I continue to pray for her, as well as Dad. Thank you all for all the information you offer and the support. I haven’t written often but have taken in all that has been said. Sincerely, Lori ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog that comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough all of the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are. ~Anonymous~ www.aldf.org www.ifaw.org www.fundforanimals.org www.oceanconservancy.org www.aspca.org www.ddal.org www.greenpeace.org www.nrdc.org www.pcrm.org www.edf.org www.ncpa.org www.audobon.org www.bestfriends.org www.nwf.org www.wwf.org www.defenders.org www.nature.org www.nhes.org www.wolf.org Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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