Just letting off steam...

[Guest guest]

I've been on MTX for 3 months. During that time I've experienced

pretty severe nausea and exhaustion. But within 2 weeks of starting

it I saw a marked improvement in my joints. I started it with

severely inflamed hands (fingers/wrists), knees, ankles, and feet and

intermittent involvement of my shoulders and elbows. I was very much

a mess, barely able to walk and unable to write, shampoo my own hair,

or hold a fork. The MTX did wonders for me. During the last month/2

months of use I plateaued on it and my SED rate stayed the same, even

increasing a tiny bit. But in comparison to how I was when I started

MTX, I felt almost normal!

The rheumy was concerned by my nausea, exhaustion, hair loss, etc but

especially by the appearance of nodules on my arms which she did not

see as typical rheumatoid nodules. While she didn't verbalize it my

guess is they're nodultis probably brought on by the MTX. She made

the decision to cut me off MTX cold-turkey.

She's started me on sulfasalazine but of course I need to titrate up

on it so right now I'm at a quarter of the eventual full dose. That

will take me a month to work up to. And of course it might take 1-3

months for the full dose to have effect.

In the meantime, I feel like the main character in " Flowers from

Algernon " . Each day I regress more. The inflammation is worsening,

the pain is increasing, my mobility is lessening, the exhaustion is

dragging me down. This is SO disheartening!!!

I've worked really hard at having a positive attitude since the

diagnosis but this is just depressing. My biggest fear is that I'm

going to regress to the point that I started at AND that the

sulfasalzine won't be effective.

*sigh*... sorry to unload...I just needed to let off steam with some

folks who might understand.

Kim