Re: for Pat

[Guest guest]

Hi, Pat. The nurse may have been telling you the truth, Pat. I found that, as

my mother aged and her status declined, her skin was so much more fragile that

even the slightest bump would create a tear. And, I do believe that Mom was

responsible for many of her skin issues...perhaps her hallucinations caused her

to poke and prod when it wasn't necessary. Mom had hallucinations that involved

her skin so she might have felt something crawling on her...or felt that she

needed to wipe something away.

When visiting another resident recently, I noticed she constantly was wiping at

her face. There was nothing on her face but she must have felt that there was.

With thin skin, it's feasible that she could have caused some type of issue with

this wiping motion.

Mom was in a facility for just two months shy of six years. In that time, I

spent many, many hours with Mom...moreso in the last three years when I was

there daily. After watching the staff members, I can confidently say that the

clear majority of staff are caring individuals who go above and beyond. There

will always be a few who can't measure up, just as they are present in any other

aspect of society. However, all of that taken into consideration, it is

completely appropriate to acknowledge that they are all overworked and expected

to do much more than their share of caregiving, especially if one of them does

not pull their weight. If you look at the patient/hands-on staff ratio, they do

a yeoman's job of caring. My mother fell often...it was the fault of the

disease, not the staff. There is only so much they can do to keep so many safe.

If you truly feel that it is a matter of staff not being careful or watchful,

would putting a pair of gloves on your husband help? Newly-cut nails are often

much sharper than otherwise...think of new babies and how we put mittens on

them. With their hands waving around, they often will put small cuts on their

noses or other places. It isn't a stretch to think the same could happen with

our aging loved ones, especially if muscular control is an issue.

I wish you and yours the best in this struggle.

Lynn in Florida

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>

> This morning I received a phone call at 6:30 AM to tell me my husband Bob

> got a 2 1/2 cm skin tear on his eyelid! The nurse said the aid found him

> that way this morning.

> They are saying he tore his own eyelid with his fingernails. Well, I just

> clipped his nails for him a few days ago. I do not believe it! The nurse

> said she put steri strips on the tear.

> I told her I want the doctor to look at it. This is awful! Bob is so

> picky, he will not leave that alone. He had skin tears on the backs of his

> hands that tore months to heal as he kept picking at them.

> I feel terrible for him. I feel helpless and hopeless. There is nothing I

> can do to protect my husband or to keep him safe. He is just a piece of

> human flotsam at the whim of a merciless system of nurses aids

> who do not care! I feel terrible for him and there is nothing I can do!

> If I could afford a better place he would get better care, but I can't, he

> has to be on Medicaid. That is the awful thing about this. I know there

> are better

> nursing homes with better care and I can't afford to pay the cost! So poor

> Bob has to suffer with bad care due to lack of money. :>0 !!!

> Pat M.

> 59, Wife of Bob, 76 dx LBD 2009, now in a nursing home after two hip

> surgeries earlier this year.

>

>

>