just venting

[Guest guest]

uh the past three months of my live have been agonizing. i have been

having " flare ups " back to back. if you ask me the remicade isn't

working for crap. i would be better off taking tylenol arthritis which

is equally as useless. i don't know why they have allowed this to go on

for so long. i hate that i am always exhausted; i never want to do

anything anymore. i have hit the bottom of the pit. i can't do things

by myself anymore and when i have to i just break out in tears. I AM

NOT HAPPY! everything is such a struggle. living shouldn't be this

hard. i feel useless and like a burden. i can't even cook without being

depressed about how i struggle with chopping. i hate being the twenty

year old that can't keep up with her friends.

[Guest guest]

hey jennifer. wow that must have been really tough. i can't even

begin to imagine what that must have ben like for you. I used to be

on MTX but it wasn't working for me. the only thing i can say that

really worked for me was enbrel. oh i miss those days. i would forget

i even had it. i also had insurance issues and that is why i no

longer take it. i know this sounds silly but whenever i call to tell

them what is wrong i feel like i am complaining and like i am

bothering them. does that make sense?

> > >

> > > uh the past three months of my live have been agonizing. i

have

> > been

> > > having " flare ups " back to back. if you ask me the remicade

isn't

> > > working for crap. i would be better off taking tylenol

arthritis

> > which

> > > is equally as useless. i don't know why they have allowed

this to

> > go on

> > > for so long. i hate that i am always exhausted; i never want

to

> do

> > > anything anymore. i have hit the bottom of the pit. i can't

do

> > things

> > > by myself anymore and when i have to i just break out in

tears. I

> > AM

> > > NOT HAPPY! everything is such a struggle. living shouldn't be

> this

> > > hard. i feel useless and like a burden. i can't even cook

without

> > being

> > > depressed about how i struggle with chopping. i hate being

the

> > twenty

> > > year old that can't keep up with her friends.

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

> --------------------------------------------------------------------

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>

>

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3/19/2008 9:54 AM

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

thank you Melynda. i sure need that. i really don't like to depend on

people and when i used to have flares up or problems i would suck it

up and figure out ways to do things. i just feel like it's

progressing and i can tell because i can feel the burning sensation.

hen i feel it i get really depressed because i know that there is

nothing i can do to make it go away. i feel like it's deteriorating

or something. i already have two joints that are completely useless

and i don't want that to happen to any of the rest. it's really

scary. i just wish i would have gotten it when i was aleast 16. i got

my first symptoms when i was 10 and my mother thought i was lying

because i was trying to get out of school. i don't blame her because

i did try to do that alot so i had two years in which i had no

treatment. during that time i was no longer able to bend my wrists.

so it's been ten years and i see how it has spread through out my

entire body and i am afraid of what will happen in the next ten. i

guess i'm just being negative because of all the pain. i know when i

get my treatment and it works i will be fine. i just hate not knowing

what's happening or what my rhuemy is going to do

Liz

--- In , Melynda Gamez <melyndagamez@...>

wrote:

>

> hi lizzy,im so SORRY for the pain you have been going through.yes

it sux when you get soo bad,you cant even help youself & you have to

rely on someone!! i to feel the same way sometimes but i have TRIED

to let people help me because sometime or another they might need

HELP themselves.... YES the STRUGGLE to deal with the PAIN can become

very DEPRESSING!! YOU know WHAT THOUGH,YOU are not a BURDEN

& definetly not USELESS!!!! i have come to BELIEVE we ALL have a

PURPOSE in LIFE! lizzy,you are still young & you HAVE TO BEAT THIS

DIEASE,DONT LET IT BEAT YOU............. im 38 but LOOK like a lil

girl due to my ra & severe osteo.ABOUT your friends,im SURE they

understand that sometimes you cant keep up with them & thats

o.k.too.. i see it this way,i do not think about the things i cant

do,instead i FOCUS on what I CAN DO..I SOO LIVE BY THESE WORDS!!! i

HOPE you feel BETTER soon,lizzy. god bless,

Melynda<melyndagamez@...>wrote:3/19/08 at 11:11p.m.central time

>

>

> [ ] just venting

>

> uh the past three months of my live have been agonizing. i have

been

> having " flare ups " back to back. if you ask me the remicade isn't

> working for crap. i would be better off taking tylenol arthritis

which

> is equally as useless. i don't know why they have allowed this to

go on

> for so long. i hate that i am always exhausted; i never want to do

> anything anymore. i have hit the bottom of the pit. i can't do

things

> by myself anymore and when i have to i just break out in tears. I

AM

> NOT HAPPY! everything is such a struggle. living shouldn't be this

> hard. i feel useless and like a burden. i can't even cook without

being

> depressed about how i struggle with chopping. i hate being the

twenty

> year old that can't keep up with her friends.

>

>

>

>

>

>

______________________________________________________________________

______________

> Never miss a thing. Make your home page.

> http://www./r/hs

>

>

[Guest guest]

Lizzy, I can totally understand the stuff about being young and dealing

with friends and depression and everything. I'm 21 and was just

recently diagnosed, but have also had fibromyalgia since i was 16. It

is so hard seeing my friends have a normal life and knowing that i just

cant do that. college has been a mess for me, and i am finally living

at home trying to finish and a lot of the time i feel like people just

think i am being lazy because i cant do very much. but i've had to

force myself to remind myself of the character of my friends and

family...of who they are and how much they love me. and i start to

realize that they are much more supportive and gracious that i give

them credit for much of the time. i dont know about you, but i always

feel bad about having to cancel plans or ppl having to make

accomidations for me, but i am slowly realizing that people dont care;

they just want me to be okay, and they will do whatever it takes to

make that happen. but you HAVE to let people be there for you...you

have to let them help you. otherwise you will just make yourself worse

and push your friends and family away. besides, as cheesy as it sounds,

a lot of times it becomes a blessing to them to be able to come along

side you and serve you however they can. as far as being overwhelemed,

i have been having a really hard time with that lately too, and it can

be sooo hard to communicate that to the people that you are around

every day. sometimes it helps me to talk to long distant friends about

it (people that are a little removed, but still close to me). and it

may be a good idea to look into counseling, like other ppl have said. i

am looking into that right now also. I think it is important to express

your emotions and frustrations and pain freely, wherever the outlet may

be...otherwise that emotional pain can make our physical pain worse.

anyway, sorry i wrote a lot, if you want to talk more, feel free to e-

mail me. thanks for sharing your struggles...it is encouraging to know

that i am not alone. take care of yourself

Holly

--- In , " lizzy138_2001 " <lizzy138_2001@...>

wrote:

>

> uh the past three months of my live have been agonizing. i have been

> having " flare ups " back to back. if you ask me the remicade isn't

> working for crap. i would be better off taking tylenol arthritis

which

> is equally as useless. i don't know why they have allowed this to go

on

> for so long. i hate that i am always exhausted; i never want to do

> anything anymore. i have hit the bottom of the pit. i can't do things

> by myself anymore and when i have to i just break out in tears. I AM

> NOT HAPPY! everything is such a struggle. living shouldn't be this

> hard. i feel useless and like a burden. i can't even cook without

being

> depressed about how i struggle with chopping. i hate being the twenty

> year old that can't keep up with her friends.

>

[Guest guest]

HAPPY EASTER LIZZY,HOPE U HAVE A GOOD DAY & PAIN FREE!!! god bless,melyndagamez

3/22/08/ 10:11p.m.ct.

[ ] just venting

>

> uh the past three months of my live have been agonizing. i have

been

> having " flare ups " back to back. if you ask me the remicade isn't

> working for crap. i would be better off taking tylenol arthritis

which

> is equally as useless. i don't know why they have allowed this to

go on

> for so long. i hate that i am always exhausted; i never want to do

> anything anymore. i have hit the bottom of the pit. i can't do

things

> by myself anymore and when i have to i just break out in tears. I

AM

> NOT HAPPY! everything is such a struggle. living shouldn't be this

> hard. i feel useless and like a burden. i can't even cook without

being

> depressed about how i struggle with chopping. i hate being the

twenty

> year old that can't keep up with her friends.

>

>

>

>

>

>

______________________________________________________________________

______________

> Never miss a thing. Make your home page.

> http://www./r/hs

>

>

[Guest guest]

hey holly. thanks for the encouraging words. it is nice to know that

you aren't alone. by the way you can never write too much i know i

should look into counciling but they make me feel like i'm crazy.

they put me on mood stablizers and anti depressants. i don't like it.

it's much more simple than they make it seem. the thing is i'm just

not happy when i don't feel good and i tend to get more emotional.

that's it. i'm not bipolar. maybe a little depresssed but that's it.

i guess all i need is a good friend. i found out the hard way that

all my friends were fake. i really appreciate the reply holly. i

don't feel so alone now. does that make sense?

Liz

> >

> > uh the past three months of my live have been agonizing. i have

been

> > having " flare ups " back to back. if you ask me the remicade isn't

> > working for crap. i would be better off taking tylenol arthritis

> which

> > is equally as useless. i don't know why they have allowed this to

go

> on

> > for so long. i hate that i am always exhausted; i never want to

do

> > anything anymore. i have hit the bottom of the pit. i can't do

things

> > by myself anymore and when i have to i just break out in tears. I

AM

> > NOT HAPPY! everything is such a struggle. living shouldn't be

this

> > hard. i feel useless and like a burden. i can't even cook without

> being

> > depressed about how i struggle with chopping. i hate being the

twenty

> > year old that can't keep up with her friends.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

LOL!!! That was a good one Stan...

 

Betsy

[Guest guest]

Oh, Stan...You just crack me up with your humorous wit. Seriously, though -

where can I find one of these laminating machines? LOLOL.....Doreen

Laminate yourself.

Stan

I am so tired of catching every little bug that my kids bring home. I wipe the

place down with lysol, but I still catch things like strep! Yesterday I couldn't

go to work because my babysitter and her son had strep. Today, I caught it.

Before this, it was the stomach flu. Before that, a sinus infection that would

not go away. My co worker is like " You're always sick! "

I feel like I should give up what I love doing and just live in a bubble. I'm

so down about this. I take suppliments. I excercise. I eat healthy, mostly

vegitarian. (Right now I'm being bad and eating a burger because I'm

stress-eating!!) How in the world are we suppose to stay well on

immuno-suppression drugs?

G

[Guest guest]

I've missed a lot of things because someone has a cold or the flu or something

else. I am glad I am past the point where I am taking care of my kids (they're

all grown up). I had a difficult time with it because I had to take the day off

to take care of them, or call in because I had caught what they had. And that

was way before RA.

Stan

Seattle, Cloudy.

Stan...

LOL....Laminate yourself.... Now, there's a thought. Wish we could.

a

Canton OH

**************

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[Guest guest]

Ebay...get the one with the " auto air holes " .

Stan

Oh, Stan...You just crack me up with your humorous wit. Seriously, though -

where can I find one of these laminating machines? LOLOL.....Doreen

Laminate yourself.

Stan

I am so tired of catching every little bug that my kids bring home. I wipe the

place down with lysol, but I still catch things like strep! Yesterday I couldn't

go to work because my babysitter and her son had strep. Today, I caught it.

Before this, it was the stomach flu. Before that, a sinus infection that would

not go away. My co worker is like " You're always sick! "

I feel like I should give up what I love doing and just live in a bubble. I'm so

down about this. I take suppliments. I excercise. I eat healthy, mostly

vegitarian. (Right now I'm being bad and eating a burger because I'm

stress-eating!!) How in the world are we suppose to stay well on

immuno-suppression drugs?

G