Looking for help with delusions and halkucinations

[Guest guest]

My Dad has had PD for just under 10 years and LBD was mentioned a few years ago,

but he took a serious turn for the worse in May of this year after some

dehydration and then a UTI. This has been our first exposure to the delusions

and hallucinations and I need some guidance. I have read the book " Caregivers

Guide to LBD " which was a tremendous book, and it has helped with some of the

aspects.

While my Dad was in rehab recently (and has since started again at home), he has

been mean to my Mom. They are about 6 weeks from their 50th wedding

anniversary. This is the couple that has always been happy and always did

romantic things for each other. Now, at night, appears to be in dreams, he is

hitting my Mom. We have talked about moving beds...or even room. That we can

basically fix.

However, it is one of his delusional thoughts that I need some help with. I am

close enough to visit daily, however, now I have gotten a few calls at work that

my Dad wants to talk and he is angry with my Mom and said that she wants a

divorce and is mean to her. My Mom is an angel and if it isn't bad enough that

my Dad's condition is devastating for her too (she is seeking counseling for

her), but then to hear this.

My Mom is the primary caregiver and (there is additional help both family and

hired)so she is in a better place than me (for the most part), and knows that is

not her husband and that it is the disease. I, on the other hand, am having a

terrible time dealing with this and don't know how to handle it at times.

Somethings he says or does, I am able to play along to satisfy him, but I don't

know how to deal with his feeling that they are divorcing or getting separated.

He gets angry and he has always been the laid back one. He has said things to

me to that hurt now because we were always so close and part of me gets that it

is the disease, but it doesn't stop the tears from flowing.

We had a wedding pic hanging at rehab, we were working on ideas for their

anniversary which included writing memories down and hiding one every day

starting with the 50 days before their anniversary. But it is only temporary.

Any help or advise that I could try to say to my Dad would be helpful.

Thank you,

Sue

[Guest guest]

It's very important you find a psychiatrist that specializes in Parkinson's. My

husband exhibited the same behaviors (plus being convinced I was having an

affair) and all of it was changed with medication. We did have to change

sleeping arrangements--separate beds--but clonazepam will help the punching

considerably. I sleep in another bed due to his twitching which wakes me.

 

In most cases, seroquel will stop the paranoia, delusions, hallucinations and

agressive behavior. There are other medications available which will make things

much better, but you have to ask AND you need a psychiatrist familiar with PD (I

can't stress that enough). The brain of a PD patient is different and meds will

work differently on them. The first psychiatrist we went to made things worse

because she tried to treat him like she would anyone else. Unfortunately, it

doesn't work that way.

 

Good luck

, who's been there and it ain't pretty.

[Guest guest]

Sue,

 

It is ok to cry.  No one feels very good about this.  The less scared he is,

the better you will manage.  But it is what you have to tell yourself and how

you take care of yourself that will make a big difference.  I use to have a

counselor and I would go in and rage and rant for an hour.  She did nothing but

listen and I could do another month.  (The Alzheimer's Association is good for

this.)  I   can remember  my daughter just looking at her grandma and saying

" Grandma!! " And laugh at her and break our fight.  It is amazing what little

it took while I was overwhelmed.

Just stay and let us help.  Write when you need.  Someone can usually

identify.

Lots of hugs.

Donna R 

Looking for help with delusions and halkucinations

 

My Dad has had PD for just under 10 years and LBD was mentioned a few years ago,

but he took a serious turn for the worse in May of this year after some

dehydration and then a UTI. This has been our first exposure to the delusions

and hallucinations and I need some guidance. I have read the book " Caregivers

Guide to LBD " which was a tremendous book, and it has helped with some of the

aspects.

While my Dad was in rehab recently (and has since started again at home), he has

been mean to my Mom. They are about 6 weeks from their 50th wedding anniversary.

This is the couple that has always been happy and always did romantic things for

each other. Now, at night, appears to be in dreams, he is hitting my Mom. We

have talked about moving beds...or even room. That we can basically fix.

However, it is one of his delusional thoughts that I need some help with. I am

close enough to visit daily, however, now I have gotten a few calls at work that

my Dad wants to talk and he is angry with my Mom and said that she wants a

divorce and is mean to her. My Mom is an angel and if it isn't bad enough that

my Dad's condition is devastating for her too (she is seeking counseling for

her), but then to hear this.

My Mom is the primary caregiver and (there is additional help both family and

hired)so she is in a better place than me (for the most part), and knows that is

not her husband and that it is the disease. I, on the other hand, am having a

terrible time dealing with this and don't know how to handle it at times.

Somethings he says or does, I am able to play along to satisfy him, but I don't

know how to deal with his feeling that they are divorcing or getting separated.

He gets angry and he has always been the laid back one. He has said things to me

to that hurt now because we were always so close and part of me gets that it is

the disease, but it doesn't stop the tears from flowing.

We had a wedding pic hanging at rehab, we were working on ideas for their

anniversary which included writing memories down and hiding one every day

starting with the 50 days before their anniversary. But it is only temporary.

Any help or advise that I could try to say to my Dad would be helpful.

Thank you,

Sue

[Guest guest]

Sue,

 

It is ok to cry.  No one feels very good about this.  The less scared he is,

the better you will manage.  But it is what you have to tell yourself and how

you take care of yourself that will make a big difference.  I use to have a

counselor and I would go in and rage and rant for an hour.  She did nothing but

listen and I could do another month.  (The Alzheimer's Association is good for

this.)  I   can remember  my daughter just looking at her grandma and saying

" Grandma!! " And laugh at her and break our fight.  It is amazing what little

it took while I was overwhelmed.

Just stay and let us help.  Write when you need.  Someone can usually

identify.

Lots of hugs.

Donna R 

Looking for help with delusions and halkucinations

 

My Dad has had PD for just under 10 years and LBD was mentioned a few years ago,

but he took a serious turn for the worse in May of this year after some

dehydration and then a UTI. This has been our first exposure to the delusions

and hallucinations and I need some guidance. I have read the book " Caregivers

Guide to LBD " which was a tremendous book, and it has helped with some of the

aspects.

While my Dad was in rehab recently (and has since started again at home), he has

been mean to my Mom. They are about 6 weeks from their 50th wedding anniversary.

This is the couple that has always been happy and always did romantic things for

each other. Now, at night, appears to be in dreams, he is hitting my Mom. We

have talked about moving beds...or even room. That we can basically fix.

However, it is one of his delusional thoughts that I need some help with. I am

close enough to visit daily, however, now I have gotten a few calls at work that

my Dad wants to talk and he is angry with my Mom and said that she wants a

divorce and is mean to her. My Mom is an angel and if it isn't bad enough that

my Dad's condition is devastating for her too (she is seeking counseling for

her), but then to hear this.

My Mom is the primary caregiver and (there is additional help both family and

hired)so she is in a better place than me (for the most part), and knows that is

not her husband and that it is the disease. I, on the other hand, am having a

terrible time dealing with this and don't know how to handle it at times.

Somethings he says or does, I am able to play along to satisfy him, but I don't

know how to deal with his feeling that they are divorcing or getting separated.

He gets angry and he has always been the laid back one. He has said things to me

to that hurt now because we were always so close and part of me gets that it is

the disease, but it doesn't stop the tears from flowing.

We had a wedding pic hanging at rehab, we were working on ideas for their

anniversary which included writing memories down and hiding one every day

starting with the 50 days before their anniversary. But it is only temporary.

Any help or advise that I could try to say to my Dad would be helpful.

Thank you,

Sue

[Guest guest]

I agree 100%. My friend has had superb results with meds in the same classes.

If you need to, shop til you find the right psychiatrist.

[Guest guest]

Sue, one more suggestion: Psychiatric care shouldn't be just for your dad.

As primary caregiver, your mom also needs somewhere to vent and to get

coping strategies. The first time I saw a mental health counselor, I

didn't go to see her for my own problems. My sister (200 miles away) had

just been committed to a hospital by her husband (and a judge) for very

severe depression and prescription drug abuse. I wanted to get coping

strategies and I did. I also got a little more insight into myself and the

ability to try to change what I wanted to change and keep what I wanted to

keep.

So, while you are looking for a psychiatrist for your dad, look for

counselors for you and your mom. You could even tell your mom that it is

only to get some coping strategies. We can relate our own experiences and

suggest solutions that have worked for us. But in the final analysis, each

case is different and having a professional who has experience with

counseling caregivers is sometimes all the in person help you get for

yourselves. If your own doctor hasn't entered " caregiver burden " or

" caregiver stress " in your own medical chart, it is time you talk about it

and get it in the chart. Same for your mom. It will help you get the

further help you need. This is a medical problem in which the whole family

needs care. Your dad may be the primary patient, but the whole family is a

patient, too. Taking care of your own stress will help your dad, too. I

was counseled that, when I was feeling stress, I should calm down

(breathing exercises) before Mom saw me. My stress increased her stress.

Finally, your mom may be handling this better than you, but you are coming

at this from different angles. Your mom also might be doing her own

" showtime " in order to protect you. That instinct, I think, never goes

away. For your mom, this is the man she has been with for 50 years and

probably can't imagine life without him. She may believe that this is the

" for worse " part of her wedding vows. Or, she may believe that, regardless

of his behavior, caring for him is a privilege and one of the most loving

experiences she may ever have.

But for you, this is your dad, your protector, your hero. etc. He and your

mom probably taught you that hitting is wrong, and now here he is, hitting.

He is still your dad. You are looking for your hero in him. He is still

there. He is now, though, a hero who is very confused and frightened. One

of the nasty parts of LBD is that you are aware of what's happening to you.

He is probably aware of the effect all of this is having on you but is

helpless to change things.

For you own sake, accept that even heroes get sick and scared and

frustrated that they aren't able to protect you anymore. His mind is full

of confusion and he is having trouble accepting himself. This is your

opportunity to give him back some of what he gave you over the past years.

Don't try to do everything for him. That's frustrating for both of you

and only points out that you don't think he can do anything. Let him do

those things he feels he can do - even if you have to do it over again when

he is out of the room - even if he makes a mess - even if he falls.

Again, these are just thoughts. Someone who isn't there with you isn't

going to understand all of your family dynamics, which is important in

treating the family (as a patient). Talk to some professional mental

health specialists for you and your mom. There's a lot of help there.

Best wishes.

Kate

> **

>

>

> My Dad has had PD for just under 10 years and LBD was mentioned a few

> years ago, but he took a serious turn for the worse in May of this year

> after some dehydration and then a UTI. This has been our first exposure to

> the delusions and hallucinations and I need some guidance. I have read the

> book " Caregivers Guide to LBD " which was a tremendous book, and it has

> helped with some of the aspects.

>

> While my Dad was in rehab recently (and has since started again at home),

> he has been mean to my Mom. They are about 6 weeks from their 50th wedding

> anniversary. This is the couple that has always been happy and always did

> romantic things for each other. Now, at night, appears to be in dreams, he

> is hitting my Mom. We have talked about moving beds...or even room. That we

> can basically fix.

>

> However, it is one of his delusional thoughts that I need some help with.

> I am close enough to visit daily, however, now I have gotten a few calls at

> work that my Dad wants to talk and he is angry with my Mom and said that

> she wants a divorce and is mean to her. My Mom is an angel and if it isn't

> bad enough that my Dad's condition is devastating for her too (she is

> seeking counseling for her), but then to hear this.

>

> My Mom is the primary caregiver and (there is additional help both family

> and hired)so she is in a better place than me (for the most part), and

> knows that is not her husband and that it is the disease. I, on the other

> hand, am having a terrible time dealing with this and don't know how to

> handle it at times.

>

> Somethings he says or does, I am able to play along to satisfy him, but I

> don't know how to deal with his feeling that they are divorcing or getting

> separated. He gets angry and he has always been the laid back one. He has

> said things to me to that hurt now because we were always so close and part

> of me gets that it is the disease, but it doesn't stop the tears from

> flowing.

>

> We had a wedding pic hanging at rehab, we were working on ideas for their

> anniversary which included writing memories down and hiding one every day

> starting with the 50 days before their anniversary. But it is only

> temporary.

>

> Any help or advise that I could try to say to my Dad would be helpful.

>

> Thank you,

>

> Sue

>

>

>

--

Kate Knapp

UMN - OIT

" All adventures, especially into new territory, are scary. "

Sally Ride (first American woman in space)

[Guest guest]

No, it is not an easy choice, especially to see my dad so stiff, and most times

not able to hold a glass of water without spilling it. However, he is not really

complaining of being in pain, and since off the sinemet, the " painter with the

mask " , that visits him every night in the bathroom, hasn't been around. a

little humor!

Re: Looking for help with delusions and halkucinations

that is the point that you sometimes get to making a choice between

movement and mentation. taking away the sinemet (carbidopida) can cause

increased muscle rigidity and slow movement but the up side is sometimes

mentation/hallucinations improve!! not easy choices in this very difficult

disease!

[Guest guest]

No, it is not an easy choice, especially to see my dad so stiff, and most times

not able to hold a glass of water without spilling it. However, he is not really

complaining of being in pain, and since off the sinemet, the " painter with the

mask " , that visits him every night in the bathroom, hasn't been around. a

little humor!

Re: Looking for help with delusions and halkucinations

that is the point that you sometimes get to making a choice between

movement and mentation. taking away the sinemet (carbidopida) can cause

increased muscle rigidity and slow movement but the up side is sometimes

mentation/hallucinations improve!! not easy choices in this very difficult

disease!

[Guest guest]

No, it is not an easy choice, especially to see my dad so stiff, and most times

not able to hold a glass of water without spilling it. However, he is not really

complaining of being in pain, and since off the sinemet, the " painter with the

mask " , that visits him every night in the bathroom, hasn't been around. a

little humor!

Re: Looking for help with delusions and halkucinations

that is the point that you sometimes get to making a choice between

movement and mentation. taking away the sinemet (carbidopida) can cause

increased muscle rigidity and slow movement but the up side is sometimes

mentation/hallucinations improve!! not easy choices in this very difficult

disease!

[Guest guest]

I've been " lurking " since my husband's death in October of 2011....seems

like yesterday. However; at one point he experienced MANY hallucinations,

and delusions of all kinds. When the neurologist learned of this he took

away the selegiline which had been a medication for a few years. Immediately

the hallucinations stopped, to his regret, by the way, and so did most of

thedelusions. If your loved one is on selegiline, you might question

it...All the best, Marcia C.