Re: credit cards/emotional stuff

June 11, 2002

actually, i just got one (thank god), but it's a debit card. that way, i

can only get what i need. i'm ordering a few tapes (Dr. Phil from Oprah)

and some of the snacks. i deposited only $250 in my PayPal, and i think that

should be enough for food and books. hopefully, by then, i will have lost

some of this weight; gotten over the cravings; and have a better

understanding of why i turned to food.

my next " thingie " is this weekend. my SIL's mom is having a gathering.

it's SIL's birthday, and Father's Day, and SIL's brother's BD. they were

nagging me at xmas to have " just one little truffle " . i was made to feel

guilty about turning down their food, like i was trying to insult them. i

hate being scoulded (it's been 2 months since mom died; why am i.......?);

and i don't go to church and it infuriates them; and i weave baskets and they

want me to get a job. and there's much more.

so i'm not going. i decided that it would be nice spending time with

brother, and i know getting out of thne house is important, but i'm trying to

avoid stress. pat

> of

> empowerment - and that doesn't come by losing control - over the foods we

> eat, our credit card debts, or anything else that makes us feel weak and

>

June 11, 2002

actually, i just got one (thank god), but it's a debit card. that way, i

can only get what i need. i'm ordering a few tapes (Dr. Phil from Oprah)

and some of the snacks. i deposited only $250 in my PayPal, and i think that

should be enough for food and books. hopefully, by then, i will have lost

some of this weight; gotten over the cravings; and have a better

understanding of why i turned to food.

my next " thingie " is this weekend. my SIL's mom is having a gathering.

it's SIL's birthday, and Father's Day, and SIL's brother's BD. they were

nagging me at xmas to have " just one little truffle " . i was made to feel

guilty about turning down their food, like i was trying to insult them. i

hate being scoulded (it's been 2 months since mom died; why am i.......?);

and i don't go to church and it infuriates them; and i weave baskets and they

want me to get a job. and there's much more.

so i'm not going. i decided that it would be nice spending time with

brother, and i know getting out of thne house is important, but i'm trying to

avoid stress. pat

> of

> empowerment - and that doesn't come by losing control - over the foods we

> eat, our credit card debts, or anything else that makes us feel weak and

>

June 11, 2002

Pat, the " cravings " are caused by carbs. If you eat carbs it'll make you

crave more carbs. If you can cut WAY down on the carbs, your cravings will go

away within a few days. I promise. Vicki

In a message dated 06/11/2002 6:51:26 PM US Mountain Standard Time,

pat0829@... writes:

> hopefully, by then, i will have lost

> some of this weight; gotten over the cravings; and have a better

> understanding of why i turned to food.

>

June 11, 2002

Pat, the " cravings " are caused by carbs. If you eat carbs it'll make you

crave more carbs. If you can cut WAY down on the carbs, your cravings will go

away within a few days. I promise. Vicki

In a message dated 06/11/2002 6:51:26 PM US Mountain Standard Time,

pat0829@... writes:

> hopefully, by then, i will have lost

> some of this weight; gotten over the cravings; and have a better

> understanding of why i turned to food.

>

June 11, 2002

That sounds like a good decision, Pat.

You need to talk to your brother and make it clear to him (and hopefully

he'll pass that on) that " just one more truffle " can cause real damage to

you. Do they want you to be an amputee? Blind? Etc.? Make it REALLY CLEAR

to them that they aren't helping you by their present attitude. If they want

to be really helpful they'll stop pushing foods on you that are dangerous to

your health. Vicki

In a message dated 06/11/2002 6:51:26 PM US Mountain Standard Time,

pat0829@... writes:

> they were

> nagging me at xmas to have " just one little truffle " . i was made to feel

> guilty about turning down their food, like i was trying to insult them. i

>

> hate being scoulded (it's been 2 months since mom died; why am i.......?);

> and i don't go to church and it infuriates them; and i weave baskets and

> they

> want me to get a job. and there's much more.

>

> so i'm not going. i decided that it would be nice spending time with

> brother, and i know getting out of thne house is important, but i'm trying

> to

> avoid stress. pat

>

June 11, 2002

That sounds like a good decision, Pat.

You need to talk to your brother and make it clear to him (and hopefully

he'll pass that on) that " just one more truffle " can cause real damage to

you. Do they want you to be an amputee? Blind? Etc.? Make it REALLY CLEAR

to them that they aren't helping you by their present attitude. If they want

to be really helpful they'll stop pushing foods on you that are dangerous to

your health. Vicki

In a message dated 06/11/2002 6:51:26 PM US Mountain Standard Time,

pat0829@... writes:

> they were

> nagging me at xmas to have " just one little truffle " . i was made to feel

> guilty about turning down their food, like i was trying to insult them. i

>

> hate being scoulded (it's been 2 months since mom died; why am i.......?);

> and i don't go to church and it infuriates them; and i weave baskets and

> they

> want me to get a job. and there's much more.

>

> so i'm not going. i decided that it would be nice spending time with

> brother, and i know getting out of thne house is important, but i'm trying

> to

> avoid stress. pat

>

June 11, 2002

i thought i had about cut out carbs. i think some is just habit; some just

needing something else to thing about.

funny, but i have the urge to snack now, but i'm not hungry. i had sauteed

vegies tonite with the polish sausage (and threw some of that out--vegies

were better).

i need to check the website again, but eyes are playing tricks now. guess

that means since it's after midnite here, it's bedtime. i am looking

forward to having the stuff from zerocarb. smeone here suggested the " just

cheese " stuff, so i'm ordering those, and one of each candy, and getting tons

of celery a the store tomorrow. i found that if i took a few pieces of

celery with some dip, that was ok. i'm gonna try some lime in my water and

try to drink lots of it.

i was checking in the yellow pages today " health food " stores. i found GNC,

or things that sound more like organic than low carb.

can't wait until the Farmers' Market is back n Saturday. i need zukes,

eggplant and radishes (i think radishes are on the list), and other stuff

like that to munch on. pat

>

> Pat, the " cravings " are caused by carbs. If you eat carbs it'll make you

>

June 11, 2002

i thought i had about cut out carbs. i think some is just habit; some just

needing something else to thing about.

funny, but i have the urge to snack now, but i'm not hungry. i had sauteed

vegies tonite with the polish sausage (and threw some of that out--vegies

were better).

i need to check the website again, but eyes are playing tricks now. guess

that means since it's after midnite here, it's bedtime. i am looking

forward to having the stuff from zerocarb. smeone here suggested the " just

cheese " stuff, so i'm ordering those, and one of each candy, and getting tons

of celery a the store tomorrow. i found that if i took a few pieces of

celery with some dip, that was ok. i'm gonna try some lime in my water and

try to drink lots of it.

i was checking in the yellow pages today " health food " stores. i found GNC,

or things that sound more like organic than low carb.

can't wait until the Farmers' Market is back n Saturday. i need zukes,

eggplant and radishes (i think radishes are on the list), and other stuff

like that to munch on. pat

>

> Pat, the " cravings " are caused by carbs. If you eat carbs it'll make you

>

June 11, 2002

brother doesn't push, but SIL's family wants to take charge of my life. and

they usually lecture me on everything (like two weeks after mom died they

told me i should be at their mother's day celebration--it would do me good).

but i think everyone who does not understand what a diabetic goes thru; and

then the depression that's there too; and then want to tell me " all you have

to do.... " gets on my last nerve. and so many folks think that treating

you to things you can't eat is a help.

guess that's why i'm s anxious to get the stuff from zero carb. i want and

NEED to make my point that i'm investing bucks in this stuff because i have

to, and they need to just back off.

sorry to whine on the list so much. i just get so frustrated when i'm

trying to get myself going, and others seem to be trying to throw hurdles.

pat

>

> You need to talk to your brother and make it clear to him (and hopefully

> he'll pass that on) that " just one more truffle " can cause real damage to

>

June 11, 2002

brother doesn't push, but SIL's family wants to take charge of my life. and

they usually lecture me on everything (like two weeks after mom died they

told me i should be at their mother's day celebration--it would do me good).

but i think everyone who does not understand what a diabetic goes thru; and

then the depression that's there too; and then want to tell me " all you have

to do.... " gets on my last nerve. and so many folks think that treating

you to things you can't eat is a help.

guess that's why i'm s anxious to get the stuff from zero carb. i want and

NEED to make my point that i'm investing bucks in this stuff because i have

to, and they need to just back off.

sorry to whine on the list so much. i just get so frustrated when i'm

trying to get myself going, and others seem to be trying to throw hurdles.

pat

>

> You need to talk to your brother and make it clear to him (and hopefully

> he'll pass that on) that " just one more truffle " can cause real damage to

>

June 12, 2002

Pat,

Is your Dr treating the depression?

Carol T

In a message dated 6/11/02 9:35:30 PM Pacific Daylight Time, pat0829@...

writes:

>>but i think everyone who does not understand what a diabetic goes thru; and

then the depression that's there too; and then want to tell me " all you have

to do.... " gets on my last nerve. .

June 12, 2002

Pat,

Is your Dr treating the depression?

Carol T

In a message dated 6/11/02 9:35:30 PM Pacific Daylight Time, pat0829@...

writes:

>>but i think everyone who does not understand what a diabetic goes thru; and

then the depression that's there too; and then want to tell me " all you have

to do.... " gets on my last nerve. .

June 12, 2002

Yes, but you should talk to your brother and have HIM talk to his wife's

family about the potential damage they're causing. Vicki

In a message dated 06/11/2002 9:35:42 PM US Mountain Standard Time,

pat0829@... writes:

> brother doesn't push, but SIL's family wants to take charge of my life.

> and

> they usually lecture me on everything (like two weeks after mom died they

> told me i should be at their mother's day celebration--it would do me

> good).

>

June 12, 2002

I think the family is part of my problem. And please don't think i'm

whining.

When mom was sick, i called on the " inlaws " to help me take her to hospital,

or to come over when she was having mini strokes (they have EMS experience),

or to pick me up from the hospital. brother's feelings are that since i

called on them, i need to bend some.

they used to come all the time without calling, offer unwanted and unsolitied

advice, and " fuss " at what i was doing (like hiring people to sit with mom at

nursing home). i told the mom once that i had diabetes, and very high BP,

and was stressed, and none of that was good for mom, because i took it out on

her. so i told her i would not answer the door again for her, or answer her

phone calls, because she was the cause of lots of my stress. she did back

off at that point.

i told the brother that the doctor had said that lots of the stuff with mom

had caused the diabetes. i realize it was dormant and just needed the other

to bring it to active, and that my genes (we are both adopted) had a part,

and so does my weight, but his feelings are that because i'm fat, and not

that active, and ate poorly, it's my fault. so i have to deal with his

inlaws by myself.

i'm really not trying to find excuses, but i don't think they really

understand it all. they visited mom once a week or less, and have no clue

what the lack of sleep, and the stress of dealing with an alzheimers

patient, who needed lots of lifting and help, does to someone. and then

losing that person also takes it's toll.

i'm taking Serzone for depression, and it's working. and i'm gonna get the

bike out today and ride it. it's hot, and i have some books on tape, so i

think i will get some breakfast and wait for it to settle some, and then get

going.

pat

>

> Yes, but you should talk to your brother and have HIM talk to his wife's

> family about the potential damage they're causing. Vicki

>

June 12, 2002

I didn't see one. i found on zerocarb (or one of the sites shared here)

that when you clicked the icon of the product, the carbs were listed (like

the package label). i would love a tuna sandwich again, but have avoided

bread for months now (like 6-8) and except for an occasional BBQ, or

hamburger, i don't indulge in any bread, potato or rice. i still don't

know how many carbs a day are ok, and how to measure them. i'm a little

reluctant to go to a diabetes educator, because i feel sometimes the medical

establishment does use the wrong stuff, and recommend things that make my BS

go up, rather than down.

breakfast was eggs and sausage and strawberries. i need to test now. it

was quite a while ago, and actually, i failed to test because i was busy. i

know my salad dressing has carbs, and i'm guessing the ham i had (cut from

the ham itself so no clue how many carbs) had some carbs (??).

pat

> y

> almost all have bought into the " low fat/high carb " USDA type

>

June 12, 2002