Guest guest Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Thank you, Courage. Last night when I arrived for dinner, both Hospice nurses were waiting for me. Whether Mom has taken a step closer, we don't know. But, it appears so. I'll check today when I go for her lunch. One thing that was really brought home to me last night was how we family members who are regularly in the facility with our loved ones have become tied together. Last week, one of mom's fellow residents for the past near-six-years passed suddenly and unexpectedly. I felt like I lost part of my support network with her passing, while mourning her passing, too. Last night, another family member (whose loved one has been residing with Mom for nearly six years) came into Mom's room after seeing both Hospice nurses there. We spoke for a while before she began to cry. She also felt like her support network was leaving her behind. Through my own tears, I reassured her I would be there with her regardless of what happened with Mom. Like with this group, we ARE tied together in this journey. We ARE important to each other, even if only for a reassuring glance or a supportive pat on the back, literally or figuratively. It evolves slowly but it will never leave us, I'm certain. It just seemed important to share that with others who may be just starting this journey. We are never alone. We just may not fully understand that until it becomes necessary to open up to others. Thank you, once again. Best wishes, Lynn in Florida ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Lynn, > > I am sending you and your mom much strength. > Courage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Lynn, You make a wonderful point about what can happen when our parents/loved ones go into care. I’ve met some wonderful residents, their family members and staff over the years. We do need each other and in some ways our loved ones need us even more once they do go into care. I do plan to continue to visit with the residents I have a relationship with but I need a bit of time to shore up some strength first. Most of these residents do not have regular family visits which is heartbreaking. Keeping you and your mom in my thoughts. Courage From: Lynn Sent: Thursday, February 23, 2012 8:47 AM To: LBDcaregivers Subject: Re: response to Lynn Thank you, Courage. Last night when I arrived for dinner, both Hospice nurses were waiting for me. Whether Mom has taken a step closer, we don't know. But, it appears so. I'll check today when I go for her lunch. One thing that was really brought home to me last night was how we family members who are regularly in the facility with our loved ones have become tied together. Last week, one of mom's fellow residents for the past near-six-years passed suddenly and unexpectedly. I felt like I lost part of my support network with her passing, while mourning her passing, too. Last night, another family member (whose loved one has been residing with Mom for nearly six years) came into Mom's room after seeing both Hospice nurses there. We spoke for a while before she began to cry. She also felt like her support network was leaving her behind. Through my own tears, I reassured her I would be there with her regardless of what happened with Mom. Like with this group, we ARE tied together in this journey. We ARE important to each other, even if only for a reassuring glance or a supportive pat on the back, literally or figuratively. It evolves slowly but it will never leave us, I'm certain. It just seemed important to share that with others who may be just starting this journey. We are never alone. We just may not fully understand that until it becomes necessary to open up to others. Thank you, once again. Best wishes, Lynn in Florida ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Lynn, > > I am sending you and your mom much strength. > Courage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Hi Lynn, It's very sad to know that your mom is journeying out of lewy but it seems good to know you have some time to adjust. This in contrast to the passing of The last in the nh facility who went suddenly. ***Yes, Judy, it is. However, staff let me know that Mom ate breakfast well this morning so the Lewy roller coaster is still in motion. It does provide time to be certain that all needing to be done has been done...all needing to be said has been said. *** Since your mom is in a facility in Florida does she get to be outside and in the sun ? Has that helped ? I find that now that the weather is getting nicer in ny and we are taking my mom out more. This breaks up the day while also changing scenery and that's good for mom, us and the paid caregivers. ***Not so much in the past months. She's had skin cancer so we try to keep her out of the sun as much as possible, even in recent years. A few years ago, I had skin cancer removed from her face in a MOHS procedure...not knowing how long her journey was, it seemed prudent to do that. Mom always loved her daily walks and did that until she was moved to the secure unit, restricing her ability to do those walks independently. We've had some bad allergy seasons of late so being outdoors wasn't always the best thing for her. Lewy makes enough of a challenge with secretions... It is good for them, though, and I'm glad you have been able to enjoy that. *** Thank you, Judy, for your concern. We take one day at a time... Best wishes, Lynn in Florida Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Courage, my mom has been in a shared room for about four years now (trying to soften the financial impact). Her current roommate is the best! She's a tiny Cuban woman who is losing her English ability, reverting to her native language. We clicked from the first day which is good because she has no living family members. She has a wonderful guardian who ensures that her needs are met but there is the human element that isn't the same. Each day when I go to Mom, she will wiggle her finger to me, asking me to come to her. I do. She asks me to sit. When I explain that I need to go see Mom, she'll answer " OK " and smile. I pop out to the table (Mom is now bedbound) to see her throughout the time I'm there and deliver her straw for her drink or her banana for after her meal. She is definitely bonded with me...and others. The residents who have been with Mom throughout this journey all remember me, in spite of their declines. They will smile and wave when I walk by. Most have lost the ability to speak. So, yes...I will go to visit to keep that connection going for them. Many do not get it from family, if there is family. You do need time and I'm glad you are taking it. I'm so certain that those who miss you will welcome you back when you are ready. It is wonderful that you can do that...it will make a difference in their journeys. And, it will lighten the day for staff who becomes the center of their universe. Best wishes, Lynn in Florida ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Lynn, > You make a wonderful point about what can happen when our parents/loved ones go into care. I’ve met some wonderful residents, their family members and staff over the years. > > We do need each other and in some ways our loved ones need us even more once they do go into care. I do plan to continue to visit with the residents I have a relationship with but I need a bit of time to shore up some strength first. Most of these residents do not have regular family visits which is heartbreaking. Keeping you and your mom in my thoughts. > Courage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Courage, my mom has been in a shared room for about four years now (trying to soften the financial impact). Her current roommate is the best! She's a tiny Cuban woman who is losing her English ability, reverting to her native language. We clicked from the first day which is good because she has no living family members. She has a wonderful guardian who ensures that her needs are met but there is the human element that isn't the same. Each day when I go to Mom, she will wiggle her finger to me, asking me to come to her. I do. She asks me to sit. When I explain that I need to go see Mom, she'll answer " OK " and smile. I pop out to the table (Mom is now bedbound) to see her throughout the time I'm there and deliver her straw for her drink or her banana for after her meal. She is definitely bonded with me...and others. The residents who have been with Mom throughout this journey all remember me, in spite of their declines. They will smile and wave when I walk by. Most have lost the ability to speak. So, yes...I will go to visit to keep that connection going for them. Many do not get it from family, if there is family. You do need time and I'm glad you are taking it. I'm so certain that those who miss you will welcome you back when you are ready. It is wonderful that you can do that...it will make a difference in their journeys. And, it will lighten the day for staff who becomes the center of their universe. Best wishes, Lynn in Florida ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Lynn, > You make a wonderful point about what can happen when our parents/loved ones go into care. I’ve met some wonderful residents, their family members and staff over the years. > > We do need each other and in some ways our loved ones need us even more once they do go into care. I do plan to continue to visit with the residents I have a relationship with but I need a bit of time to shore up some strength first. Most of these residents do not have regular family visits which is heartbreaking. Keeping you and your mom in my thoughts. > Courage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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