New to group, my intro Kinda long (sorry)

[Guest guest]

Hello! My name is Katrina. I live on the West central coast of Florida with my

husband and our daughter. I am 40. I have 2 adult children, ages 19 and 21 and a

grandson who is 5 months old. We have 3 dogs.

I was diagnosed with RA about 15 years ago, followed by diagnosis of Fibro, CFS,

PTSD, Clinical depression, etc. The doctors contribute my illnesses to the abuse

I endured as a child and in my first marriage. I was with a man who physically

abused me for 13 years. I will own the fact that I stayed. I was young, I

thought I could find the magic button. It doesn't exist.

I joined this group because like so many nights, I am sitting here in such pain

it hurts to breathe. I get my grandson from Thursday to Sunday and let me tell

you. I am in so much pain by the end of the day anyway, but add walking the

floors with a teething child, doing the bounce and walk and holy cow...the pain

becomes unbearable. Today. it was such a nice day here, that we wanted to take

him to the local nature park. I was hurting a bit more than tolerable but I

agreed to go. We walked perhaps 1 mile? I have never measured the trail. By the

time I got home, I could barely walk. The pain in my knees was so bad. Luckily,

the trip wore my grandson out so he came home and napped 3 hours so I got to

rest my bones some. Not it is 12:50am and while the rest of the house sleeps, I

sit awake with so much pain in my knees that I am just in tears.

I try so hard not to complain to my family. My daughter understands as she has

her own health issues. My husband (my second husband...not the one who abused

me) though...while he tries to be patient, he gets on my nerves. Ha ha. Each

time I try and explain that I am hurting so I can't go for a walk or I can't

stand outside with him. I will sit, but he refuses to provide me a chair or

makes a big deal out of it if I ask for one. He gets frustrated when I can't get

up and go like he can. Each time I say my knees hurt or my shoulders ache, I get

this big story of how he works hard all day and his knees or his back or his

shoulders ache and his is worse. I understand he has aches and pains, he is a

mechanic and on his feet all day but I am talking about me you know? Just once

I'd love to have a conversation with him where I can discuss how I feel

physically without him butting in with his aches and pains. Do you understand

what I mean? So, I needed to tell someone this tonight so I joined this

community where I hope to make friends, learn from folks and listen and offering

a helping hand when I can.

Until then,

Peace and fabulous smellies!

Katrina

[Guest guest]

Hi Katrina,I have been where you are (abusive husband and all).Like you I

thought I could change him .better to walk away and not look back.All of us here

have AI's of all kinds.Could you tell us a bit more about your treatment? are

you seeing a rheummy?I have a great husband now,but he had some issues with my

illness,one,because I looked fine.didn't look sick to him.Thats when I insisted

he go with me to my MD appts.When the doc was so serious about controling not

just the sympyoms but the disease process,and explained that it could affect my

heart,kidneys,anything with connective tissue,he got it.Now he has joined me in

my effort to work with the MDs trying to find the best therapy for me.It is a

hard row,but one you've been given.Welcome to rant, complain,Laugh,share

whatever,we'll be here to listen.Hugs,Sherry