Re: Thoughts from everyone please...

[Guest guest]

HI Heidi,

Yes I totally understand what you are saying...but you see? that's the dark

cloud I'm talking about. I hate that, it's so frustrating...so as long as I

can get away with it....i'll put that dark cloud to the back of my mind.

it's like, sometimes I wonder do we automatically, NOT do something, because

the

pain is coming anyway, so why bother? know what i mean? I haven't danced

anymore today, but I still feel good too.

Heidi in Mass.

To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those who dont, no

explanation is possible

In a message dated 6/15/2008 2:57:03 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

hmendelsohn@... writes:

Heidi,

I am so glad you are having good days. I wish you many more. The one thing

to remember, or at least it has always effected me, don't overdo just

because you are feeling better. Its really easy to stress those muscles that

feel great now and pay for it later. So have a wonderful day, enjoy the

freedom from pain but remember to stop and rest.

Heidi M

On Sun, Jun 15, 2008 at 1:31 PM, <_sposy@..._ (mailto:sposy@...) >

wrote:

> Hello Listers!

>

> Happy Fathers Day to all you men on this list! I have to share with you all

>

> that I am feeling great today! I just danced with some friends, and am

> ready to hit Bath and Body Works for the last day of the sale! Run girls

> run! I

> still feel great as I sit here and write this. I want to know, that when

> you

> all have days like this, do you ever wonder if maybe you shouldn't have

> danced like that? Because I really believe in things like Dance til

there's

> no

> tomorrow! But there is that RA cloud....do you think sometimes we hold back

>

> from doing what we want to do and maybe CAN do because the pain is just

> lurking around the corner? I know for me I get scared to say that I could

> be going

> into remission. I mean, what a wonderful thing right?!?!?!?

> Please don't think I'm taking away from the reality of anyones pain,

> because

> you all know I've been there too, and in all likelihood will be there

> again,

> but I got kind of frustrated that while dancing and laughing and being 16

> again, I had thoughts of tramadol will be needed later for sure! If some of

>

> this is making you laugh, great,,,,that' this is making you laugh, grea

> to

> hear your thoughts on it.

>

> I'm saddened by the passing of Tim Russert. When you listen to how much he

> was loved by his friends, wow. If I could strive to be just 1/4 of the

> person he is/was, I would be a very happy girl. Ok...enough, I really need

> to get

> to that sale. I never met a sale I didn't like! I'm going to drive with my

> radio loud and sing. I can't wait to see what you all have to say! It's ok

> if you call me nuts...LOL, it won't be the first time and I promise you it

> won't be the last time I get this way...wink wink!

>

> Now, go dance!

>

> Heidi in Mass.....

>

> To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those who dont, no

> explanation is possible

>

> ************ ************<WBR>**Vote for your city's best dining and nigh

> 2008. (_http://citysbest.http://citysbhttp://citysbesthttp_

(http://citysbest.aol.com/?ncid=aolacg00050000000102)

<_http://citysbest.http://cihttp://citysbesthttp://ci_

(http://citysbest.aol.com/?ncid=aolacg00050000000102) >

> )

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

>

>

>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

**************Vote for your city's best dining and nightlife. City's Best

2008. (http://citysbest.aol.com?ncid=aolacg00050000000102)

[Guest guest]

Heidi,

I am so glad you are having good days. I wish you many more. The one thing

to remember, or at least it has always effected me, don't overdo just

because you are feeling better. Its really easy to stress those muscles that

feel great now and pay for it later. So have a wonderful day, enjoy the

freedom from pain but remember to stop and rest.

Heidi M

On Sun, Jun 15, 2008 at 1:31 PM, <sposy@...> wrote:

> Hello Listers!

>

> Happy Fathers Day to all you men on this list! I have to share with you all

>

> that I am feeling great today! I just danced with some friends, and am

> ready to hit Bath and Body Works for the last day of the sale! Run girls

> run! I

> still feel great as I sit here and write this. I want to know, that when

> you

> all have days like this, do you ever wonder if maybe you shouldn't have

> danced like that? Because I really believe in things like Dance til there's

> no

> tomorrow! But there is that RA cloud....do you think sometimes we hold back

>

> from doing what we want to do and maybe CAN do because the pain is just

> lurking around the corner? I know for me I get scared to say that I could

> be going

> into remission. I mean, what a wonderful thing right?!?!?!?

> Please don't think I'm taking away from the reality of anyones pain,

> because

> you all know I've been there too, and in all likelihood will be there

> again,

> but I got kind of frustrated that while dancing and laughing and being 16

> again, I had thoughts of tramadol will be needed later for sure! If some of

>

> this is making you laugh, great,,,,that's good for the soul....but I'd love

> to

> hear your thoughts on it.

>

> I'm saddened by the passing of Tim Russert. When you listen to how much he

> was loved by his friends, wow. If I could strive to be just 1/4 of the

> person he is/was, I would be a very happy girl. Ok...enough, I really need

> to get

> to that sale. I never met a sale I didn't like! I'm going to drive with my

> radio loud and sing. I can't wait to see what you all have to say! It's ok

> if you call me nuts...LOL, it won't be the first time and I promise you it

> won't be the last time I get this way...wink wink!

>

> Now, go dance!

>

> Heidi in Mass.....

>

> To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those who dont, no

> explanation is possible

>

> **************Vote for your city's best dining and nightlife. City's Best

> 2008.

(http://citysbest.aol.com?ncid=aolacg00050000000102<http://citysbest.aol.com/?nc\

id=aolacg00050000000102>

> )

>

>

[Guest guest]

Heidi: WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL!!! So very happy for you that you feel so

good, and felt like dancing!!!! I too, love to dance, plus, I love Rock and

Roll!! I can well imagine the joy you are feeling, and hope it continues. If

things change, at least you have had this wonderful, painfree, happy day!!! I

hope you bought out Bath and Body works!!! I love that store!!! Your post

certainly brightens my day, and I hope you are in a remission!!!! Enjoy your

nice weather in Mass---I am sure it is much hotter and humid here in Florida.

Can't wait to go home to the Cape in Aug.

Hugs,

Barbara

From: sposy@... <sposy@...>

Subject: [ ] Thoughts from everyone please...

Date: Sunday, June 15, 2008, 5:31 PM

Hello Listers!

Happy Fathers Day to all you men on this list! I have to share with you all

that I am feeling great today! I just danced with some friends, and am

ready to hit Bath and Body Works for the last day of the sale! Run girls run! I

still feel great as I sit here and write this. I want to know, that when you

all have days like this, do you ever wonder if maybe you shouldn't have

danced like that? Because I really believe in things like Dance til there's no

tomorrow! But there is that RA cloud....do you think sometimes we hold back

from doing what we want to do and maybe CAN do because the pain is just

lurking around the corner? I know for me I get scared to say that I could be

going

into remission. I mean, what a wonderful thing right?!?!?!?

Please don't think I'm taking away from the reality of anyones pain, because

you all know I've been there too, and in all likelihood will be there again,

but I got kind of frustrated that while dancing and laughing and being 16

again, I had thoughts of tramadol will be needed later for sure! If some of

this is making you laugh, great,,,,that' s good for the soul....but I'd love to

hear your thoughts on it.

I'm saddened by the passing of Tim Russert. When you listen to how much he

was loved by his friends, wow. If I could strive to be just 1/4 of the

person he is/was, I would be a very happy girl. Ok...enough, I really need to

get

to that sale. I never met a sale I didn't like! I'm going to drive with my

radio loud and sing. I can't wait to see what you all have to say! It's ok

if you call me nuts...LOL, it won't be the first time and I promise you it

won't be the last time I get this way...wink wink!

Now, go dance!

Heidi in Mass.....

To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those who dont, no

explanation is possible

************ **Vote for your city's best dining and nightlife. City's Best

2008. (http://citysbest. aol.com?ncid= aolacg0005000000 0102)

[Guest guest]

Heidi you just made my day!! I am so happy you got to dance! Your upbeat mood

and outlook just boosted mine! I believe on a day when I feel like I can do it

all, I really do it! It was difficult yesterday, but I sat out in the sun and

played on a blanket with my nephew. & nbsp; It was easy sitting there but hard

getting up off the ground! But it was fun and I had a blast! Even have to chase

after him when he went crawling in the grass!! I hope you keep playing that

radio loud and I hope you got some really great stuff at that sale! I love Bath

and Body Works and also the Body Shop!! Darn! I missed the sale!

From: sposy@... & lt;sposy@... & gt;

Subject: [ ] Thoughts from everyone please...

Date: Sunday, June 15, 2008, 1:31 PM

Hello Listers!

Happy Fathers Day to all you men on this list! I have to share with you all

that I am feeling great today! I just danced with some friends, and am

ready to hit Bath and Body Works for the last day of the sale! Run girls run! I

still feel great as I sit here and write this. I want to know, that when you

all have days like this, do you ever wonder if maybe you shouldn't have

danced like that? Because I really believe in things like Dance til there's no

tomorrow! But there is that RA cloud....do you think sometimes we hold back

from doing what we want to do and maybe CAN do because the pain is just

lurking around the corner? I know for me I get scared to say that I could be

going

into remission. I mean, what a wonderful thing right?!?!?!?

Please don't think I'm taking away from the reality of anyones pain, because

you all know I've been there too, and in all likelihood will be there again,

but I got kind of frustrated that while dancing and laughing and being 16

again, I had thoughts of tramadol will be needed later for sure! If some of

this is making you laugh, great,,,,that' s good for the soul....but I'd love to

hear your thoughts on it.

I'm saddened by the passing of Tim Russert. When you listen to how much he

was loved by his friends, wow. If I could strive to be just 1/4 of the

person he is/was, I would be a very happy girl. Ok...enough, I really need to

get

to that sale. I never met a sale I didn't like! I'm going to drive with my

radio loud and sing. I can't wait to see what you all have to say! It's ok

if you call me nuts...LOL, it won't be the first time and I promise you it

won't be the last time I get this way...wink wink!

Now, go dance!

Heidi in Mass.....

To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those who dont, no

explanation is possible

************ **Vote for your city's best dining and nightlife. City's Best

2008. (http://citysbest. aol.com?ncid= aolacg0005000000 0102)

[Guest guest]

I know there are times I automatically do NOT do something due to pain and I'm

trying to get away from that because that is giving in to my disease and letting

it rule me and I don't want to do that anymore. & nbsp; I do this with the anxiety

too, and I've seen how much life I have lost. & nbsp; Late yesterday, the pain I

had been feeling all day (even though I played in the sun and shade with my

nephew), it knocked me out. & nbsp; My family all decided to go do a little

shopping and I gave in to my sinus headache, stiff neck, FMS and knee pain and

stayed home reading on the chaise while they all went and had fun. & nbsp; I know

its probably something I needed to do, but in a few hours it would have been

bedtime and I would have gotten plenty of rest so really, I COULD have gone!

This has inspired me to make a list of things I avoid doing due to pain (I

already know what I avoid doing thanks to the anxiety:) ). & nbsp; This way, I can

make sure I'm finding balance

and not let this take anymore life away from me:)

From: sposy@... & lt;sposy@... & gt;

Subject: Re: [ ] Thoughts from everyone please...

Date: Sunday, June 15, 2008, 5:20 PM

HI Heidi,

Yes I totally understand what you are saying...but you see? that's the dark

cloud I'm talking about. I hate that, it's so frustrating. ..so as long as I

can get away with it....i'll put that dark cloud to the back of my mind.

it's like, sometimes I wonder do we automatically, NOT do something, because the

pain is coming anyway, so why bother? know what i mean? I haven't danced

anymore today, but I still feel good too.

Heidi in Mass.

To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those who dont, no

explanation is possible

In a message dated 6/15/2008 2:57:03 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

hmendelsohn@ gmail.com writes:

Heidi,

I am so glad you are having good days. I wish you many more. The one thing

to remember, or at least it has always effected me, don't overdo just

because you are feeling better. Its really easy to stress those muscles that

feel great now and pay for it later. So have a wonderful day, enjoy the

freedom from pain but remember to stop and rest.

Heidi M

On Sun, Jun 15, 2008 at 1:31 PM, & lt;_sposy@..._ (mailto:sposy@...) & gt;

wrote:

& gt; Hello Listers!

& gt;

& gt; Happy Fathers Day to all you men on this list! I have to share with you all

& gt;

& gt; that I am feeling great today! I just danced with some friends, and am

& gt; ready to hit Bath and Body Works for the last day of the sale! Run girls

& gt; run! I

& gt; still feel great as I sit here and write this. I want to know, that when

& gt; you

& gt; all have days like this, do you ever wonder if maybe you shouldn't have

& gt; danced like that? Because I really believe in things like Dance til

there's

& gt; no

& gt; tomorrow! But there is that RA cloud....do you think sometimes we hold back

& gt;

& gt; from doing what we want to do and maybe CAN do because the pain is just

& gt; lurking around the corner? I know for me I get scared to say that I could

& gt; be going

& gt; into remission. I mean, what a wonderful thing right?!?!?!?

& gt; Please don't think I'm taking away from the reality of anyones pain,

& gt; because

& gt; you all know I've been there too, and in all likelihood will be there

& gt; again,

& gt; but I got kind of frustrated that while dancing and laughing and being 16

& gt; again, I had thoughts of tramadol will be needed later for sure! If some of

& gt;

& gt; this is making you laugh, great,,,,that' this is making you laugh, grea

& gt; to

& gt; hear your thoughts on it.

& gt;

& gt; I'm saddened by the passing of Tim Russert. When you listen to how much he

& gt; was loved by his friends, wow. If I could strive to be just 1/4 of the

& gt; person he is/was, I would be a very happy girl. Ok...enough, I really need

& gt; to get

& gt; to that sale. I never met a sale I didn't like! I'm going to drive with my

& gt; radio loud and sing. I can't wait to see what you all have to say! It's ok

& gt; if you call me nuts...LOL, it won't be the first time and I promise you it

& gt; won't be the last time I get this way...wink wink!

& gt;

& gt; Now, go dance!

& gt;

& gt; Heidi in Mass.....

& gt;

& gt; To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those who dont, no

& gt; explanation is possible

& gt;

& gt; ************ ************ & lt;WBR & gt;**Vote for your city's best dining and

nigh

& gt; 2008. (_http://citysbest. http://citysbhtt p://citysbesthtt p_

(http://citysbest. aol.com/? ncid=aolacg00050 000000102)

& lt;_http://citysbest. http://cihttp: //citysbesthttp: //ci_ (http://citysbest.

aol.com/? ncid=aolacg00050 000000102) & gt;

& gt; )

& gt;

& gt;

[Guest guest]

Heidi,

I love your attitude.I do know that sometimes things just have to be done.

I do the same especially when it comes to the kids. I agree that if its

gonna hurt wheather you do or don't hell I say do LOL. Enjoy your day.

Heidi M

On Sun, Jun 15, 2008 at 6:19 PM, stephanie <stephieann2@...> wrote:

> I know there are times I automatically do NOT do something due to pain

> and I'm trying to get away from that because that is giving in to my disease

> and letting it rule me and I don't want to do that anymore. & nbsp; I do this

> with the anxiety too, and I've seen how much life I have lost. & nbsp; Late

> yesterday, the pain I had been feeling all day (even though I played in the

> sun and shade with my nephew), it knocked me out. & nbsp; My family all

> decided to go do a little shopping and I gave in to my sinus headache, stiff

> neck, FMS and knee pain and stayed home reading on the chaise while they all

> went and had fun. & nbsp; I know its probably something I needed to do, but in

> a few hours it would have been bedtime and I would have gotten plenty of

> rest so really, I COULD have gone! This has inspired me to make a list of

> things I avoid doing due to pain (I already know what I avoid doing thanks

> to the anxiety:) ). & nbsp; This way, I can make sure I'm finding balance

> and not let this take anymore life away from me:)

>

>

>

> & gt; Hello Listers!

> & gt;

> & gt; Happy Fathers Day to all you men on this list! I have to share with

> you all

> & gt;

> & gt; that I am feeling great today! I just danced with some friends, and am

> & gt; ready to hit Bath and Body Works for the last day of the sale! Run

> girls

> & gt; run! I

> & gt; still feel great as I sit here and write this. I want to know, that

> when

> & gt; you

> & gt; all have days like this, do you ever wonder if maybe you shouldn't

> have

> & gt; danced like that? Because I really believe in things like Dance til

> there's

> & gt; no

> & gt; tomorrow! But there is that RA cloud....do you think sometimes we hold

> back

> & gt;

> & gt; from doing what we want to do and maybe CAN do because the pain is

> just

> & gt; lurking around the corner? I know for me I get scared to say that I

> could

> & gt; be going

> & gt; into remission. I mean, what a wonderful thing right?!?!?!?

> & gt; Please don't think I'm taking away from the reality of anyones pain,

> & gt; because

> & gt; you all know I've been there too, and in all likelihood will be there

> & gt; again,

> & gt; but I got kind of frustrated that while dancing and laughing and being

> 16

> & gt; again, I had thoughts of tramadol will be needed later for sure! If

> some of

> & gt;

> & gt; this is making you laugh, great,,,,that' this is making you laugh,

> grea

> & gt; to

> & gt; hear your thoughts on it.

> & gt;

> & gt; I'm saddened by the passing of Tim Russert. When you listen to how

> much he

> & gt; was loved by his friends, wow. If I could strive to be just 1/4 of the

> & gt; person he is/was, I would be a very happy girl. Ok...enough, I really

> need

> & gt; to get

> & gt; to that sale. I never met a sale I didn't like! I'm going to drive

> with my

> & gt; radio loud and sing. I can't wait to see what you all have to say!

> It's ok

> & gt; if you call me nuts...LOL, it won't be the first time and I promise

> you it

> & gt; won't be the last time I get this way...wink wink!

> & gt;

> & gt; Now, go dance!

> & gt;

> & gt; Heidi in Mass.....

> & gt;

> & gt; To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those who dont,

> no

> & gt; explanation is possible

> & gt;

> & gt; ************ ************ & lt;WBR & gt;**Vote for your city's best

> dining and nigh

> & gt; 2008. (_http://citysbest. http://citysbhtt p://citysbesthtt p_

> (http://citysbest. aol.com/? ncid=aolacg00050 000000102)

> & lt;_http://citysbest. http://cihttp: <http://cihttp/> //citysbesthttp:

> //ci_ (http://citysbest. aol.com/? ncid=aolacg00050 000000102) & gt;

> & gt; )

> & gt;

> & gt;

[Guest guest]

My son's best friend, who is like a son to me, is getting married in

August. One way or another, I'm gonna be dancing at his wedding! He

and his fiancee' are just goofy in love with each other and this is

going to be the most joyous wedding. I may be in bed the next day but

that's a price i will gladly pay. I've decided that if I'm going to

be hurting anyway I may as well hurt doing something I like!

>

> Hello Listers!

>

> Happy Fathers Day to all you men on this list! I have to share

with you all

> that I am feeling great today! I just danced with some friends,

and am

> ready to hit Bath and Body Works for the last day of the sale! Run

girls run! I

> still feel great as I sit here and write this. I want to know,

that when you

> all have days like this, do you ever wonder if maybe you shouldn't

have

> danced like that? Because I really believe in things like Dance

til there's no

> tomorrow! But there is that RA cloud....do you think sometimes we

hold back

> from doing what we want to do and maybe CAN do because the pain is

just

> lurking around the corner? I know for me I get scared to say that

I could be going

> into remission. I mean, what a wonderful thing right?!?!?!?

> Please don't think I'm taking away from the reality of anyones

pain, because

> you all know I've been there too, and in all likelihood will be

there again,

> but I got kind of frustrated that while dancing and laughing and

being 16

> again, I had thoughts of tramadol will be needed later for sure!

If some of

> this is making you laugh, great,,,,that's good for the soul....but

I'd love to

> hear your thoughts on it.

>

> I'm saddened by the passing of Tim Russert. When you listen to

how much he

> was loved by his friends, wow. If I could strive to be just 1/4 of

the

> person he is/was, I would be a very happy girl. Ok...enough, I

really need to get

> to that sale. I never met a sale I didn't like! I'm going to

drive with my

> radio loud and sing. I can't wait to see what you all have to

say! It's ok

> if you call me nuts...LOL, it won't be the first time and I

promise you it

> won't be the last time I get this way...wink wink!

>

> Now, go dance!

>

> Heidi in Mass.....

>

> To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those who

dont, no

> explanation is possible

>

>

>

> **************Vote for your city's best dining and nightlife.

City's Best

> 2008. (http://citysbest.aol.com?ncid=aolacg00050000000102)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I KNOW I do that sometimes - I think its going to hurt to do such and

such, so I avoid it. I am re-learning how to live one day at a time.

My laundry list of ailments are just what's physically wrong with me,

NOT who I really am and that is a HUGE issue that I am trying to get

past.

Friday night we had two of our grandchildren here for a few hours and

we played and laughed and had such a good time that by the time they

went home, I was feeling full and happy with life. Then Saturday

afternoon, our oldest was here with his family and we had a good meal

and played in the pool for hours! I almost didn't go in and then

thought - to heck with this - this sweet grandchild wants to go

swimming and there is no REAL reason why I couldn't do that with her.

We had a blast.

By Father's Day, I was hurting more than usual, and I knew part of it

was from overdoing it a bit from the previous two days. The rainy

season is here in FL and it has the barometric pressure jumping

around like on a trampoline, too. BUT, I was so happy to have had

those two days with the grands - we all had such a good time - and

the weather is what it is, so I didn't allow all of that to ruin a

perfectly good Father's Day, so we took hubby out to his favorite BBQ

restaurant, had an awesome meal and came home and chilled for the

rest of the evening.

So, one day at a time I am re-learning how to live and remembering

who I am. Sorry this is so long. It was definitely a thought

provoking question.......

[Guest guest]

Sometime when I am home by myself and not a care in the world, having a good day

from relaxing and catching uop on my exhaustion from working all week. I crank

up the music, and dance in my living room. Who care, it feels great. I always

loved dancing and I can not dance anymore like I used to, but it still feels

good to do it, even thow I know I don't have the movement of the past. So if you

feel like dancing, then dance!!!!! & nbsp;

From: JANE & lt;janeatregis@... & gt;

Subject: [ ] Re: Thoughts from everyone please...

Date: Monday, June 16, 2008, 9:11 AM

My son's best friend, who is like a son to me, is getting married in

August. One way or another, I'm gonna be dancing at his wedding! He

and his fiancee' are just goofy in love with each other and this is

going to be the most joyous wedding. I may be in bed the next day but

that's a price i will gladly pay. I've decided that if I'm going to

be hurting anyway I may as well hurt doing something I like!

& gt;

& gt; Hello Listers!

& gt;

& gt; Happy Fathers Day to all you men on this list! I have to share

with you all

& gt; that I am feeling great today! I just danced with some friends,

and am

& gt; ready to hit Bath and Body Works for the last day of the sale! Run

girls run! I

& gt; still feel great as I sit here and write this. I want to know,

that when you

& gt; all have days like this, do you ever wonder if maybe you shouldn't

have

& gt; danced like that? Because I really believe in things like Dance

til there's no

& gt; tomorrow! But there is that RA cloud....do you think sometimes we

hold back

& gt; from doing what we want to do and maybe CAN do because the pain is

just

& gt; lurking around the corner? I know for me I get scared to say that

I could be going

& gt; into remission. I mean, what a wonderful thing right?!?!?!?

& gt; Please don't think I'm taking away from the reality of anyones

pain, because

& gt; you all know I've been there too, and in all likelihood will be

there again,

& gt; but I got kind of frustrated that while dancing and laughing and

being 16

& gt; again, I had thoughts of tramadol will be needed later for sure!

If some of

& gt; this is making you laugh, great,,,,that' s good for the soul....but

I'd love to

& gt; hear your thoughts on it.

& gt;

& gt; I'm saddened by the passing of Tim Russert. When you listen to

how much he

& gt; was loved by his friends, wow. If I could strive to be just 1/4 of

the

& gt; person he is/was, I would be a very happy girl. Ok...enough, I

really need to get

& gt; to that sale. I never met a sale I didn't like! I'm going to

drive with my

& gt; radio loud and sing. I can't wait to see what you all have to

say! It's ok

& gt; if you call me nuts...LOL, it won't be the first time and I

promise you it

& gt; won't be the last time I get this way...wink wink!

& gt;

& gt; Now, go dance!

& gt;

& gt; Heidi in Mass.....

& gt;

& gt; To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those who

dont, no

& gt; explanation is possible

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

& gt; ************ **Vote for your city's best dining and nightlife.

City's Best

& gt; 2008. (http://citysbest. aol.com?ncid= aolacg0005000000 0102)

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I totally understand what you are saying, however, I don't believe that the

good old days are gone. If and when you have a good day, celebrate it! You

are still you no matter what happens. I lost 180 pounds. Sure all that

blubber covered up emotional things like a rape,etc. But once I shed those

pounds,

and I dealt with all the emotional stuff, the " new " physical me, I still was

and am ME. I just happen to have RA now. Yup, I get frustrated, but I will

never ever say goodbye to the person pre RA because she still exists. Maybe

there are days when I can't move like a cat and am more sloth like, but my

heart and soul remain. I also see a therapist and we discuss this all the

time. I do have to work at a slower pace at times, I do have to cut my

gardening

time in half, I do drop things, I even had to have a " first date " cut up my

food for me (long story, ask if you want to, yup its funny), I now have

neuropathy in my fingertips and heels, but so what? LOL, just another thing to

add to my list. My therapist is also a Breast Cancer survivor, and we both

have " attitudes " I guess.

I just don't want people to lose themselves because of RA or any illness

that might come along and try to " consume " us. We have to accept reality, but

we cannot deny the past. Ok , jumping off my soap box. I have a 7am MRI

tomorrow of my head that I am not looking forward to because of some recent

cognitive issues, so if I've repeated myself or totally said something out of

whack

, forgive me. In case you are wondering, I've already found out if they

have my favorite radio station to listen to while I'm trapped for 45 minutes in

that " open " torture chamber!

Please don't be mad at me....

Heidi in Mass.

To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those who dont, no

explanation is possible

In a message dated 6/16/2008 8:26:57 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

bennion8@... writes:

,

You will never know how much I needed to read your post today.

Thank you very much for sharing those thoughts.

God Bless,

-- In _ @groRA-SUPP_ (mailto: ) ,

" " <man_u8@...> wrote:

>

> When I have a good day, I take full advantage of it. I wanted to

> share with everyone about my rescent therapy session. I have been

> going to therapy on and off for years. With all my recent drama, I

> needed it. She was asking about my RA/fibromyalgia. I told her

that

> I have had it for the past 7 years. I miss the person that I once

> was and I want to find that person again and learn to love myself

> again. She said, that is my problem...I am not going to find that

> person anymore. Chronic pain conditions change who you are and how

to

> you need to approach life. I need to find the person who I am

> supposed to be now. It was like a light clicked on in my head. I

> thought all these years that I learned to accept it. I have been

> angery about life. She said what will help me move on, is to greive

> my oldself and learn to embrace who I am today. She can help me

with

> that. I had stopped doing alot of things that I used to enjoy. I

> thought I had accepted being in chronic pain. I will keep you all

> enformed on how this process goes...but it made sense to me.

> Sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else for it to make

> sense. Enjoy the good days that you have.

>

>

>

>

>

> > & gt;

> > & gt; Hello Listers!

> > & gt;

> > & gt; Happy Fathers Day to all you men on this list! I have to

share

> > with you all

> > & gt; that I am feeling great today! I just danced with some

> friends,

> > and am

> > & gt; ready to hit Bath and Body Works for the last day of the

sale!

> Run

> > girls run! I

> > & gt; still feel great as I sit here and write this. I want to

know,

> > that when you

> > & gt; all have days like this, do you ever wonder if maybe you

> shouldn't

> > have

> > & gt; danced like that? Because I really believe in things like

> Dance

> > til there's no

> > & gt; tomorrow! But there is that RA cloud....do you think

sometimes

> we

> > hold back

> > & gt; from doing what we want to do and maybe CAN do because the

> pain is

> > just

> > & gt; lurking around the corner? I know for me I get scared to say

> that

> > I could be going

> > & gt; into remission. I mean, what a wonderful thing right?!?!?!?

> > & gt; Please don't think I'm taking away from the reality of

anyones

> > pain, because

> > & gt; you all know I've been there too, and in all likelihood will

> be

> > there again,

> > & gt; but I got kind of frustrated that while dancing and laughing

> and

> > being 16

> > & gt; again, I had thoughts of tramadol will be needed later for

> sure!

> > If some of

> > & gt; this is making you laugh, great,,,,that' s good for the

> soul....but

> > I'd love to

> > & gt; hear your thoughts on it.

> > & gt;

> > & gt; I'm saddened by the passing of Tim Russert. When you listen

to

> > how much he

> > & gt; was loved by his friends, wow. If I could strive to be just

> 1/4 of

> > the

> > & gt; person he is/was, I would be a very happy girl. Ok...enough,

I

> > really need to get

> > & gt; to that sale. I never met a sale I didn't like! I'm going to

> > drive with my

> > & gt; radio loud and sing. I can't wait to see what you all have

to

> > say! It's ok

> > & gt; if you call me nuts...LOL, it won't be the first time and I

> > promise you it

> > & gt; won't be the last time I get this way...wink wink!

> > & gt;

> > & gt; Now, go dance!

> > & gt;

> > & gt; Heidi in Mass.....

> > & gt;

> > & gt; To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those

> who

> > dont, no

> > & gt; explanation is possible

> > & gt;

> > & gt;

> > & gt;

> > & gt; ************ **Vote for your city's best dining and

nightlife.

> > City's Best

> > & gt; 2008. (_http://citysbest._ (http://citysbest./) aol.com?ncid=

aolacg0005000000 0102)

> > & gt;

> > & gt;

> > & gt; [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

> > & gt;

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

WAY TO GO HEIDI SO WELL SAID. I have rsd not sure if any of you know but it

is highest on the pain scale above cancer!!!!! I also have psoriasis/ ra and

or psoriatic arthtritis etc. I listed to all the people tell me i would be

in a wheelchair, of which can happen with rsd, but i thought my life was over

I was also diagnosed with the ra and well in the beginning with the rsd i

had a nervous breakdown cause i thoughtmy life was over!!1 Thank god and i say

god cause that's what put me on my feet. It took me six months to walk

again, i couldn't even stand to take a shower, and i have five kids. My life

is

far from over i just have to learn how to do new things. Do i have bad days

yes alot, but i have good days. I gardened this year last year i couldn't

getout of bed. I am still the old me, but with a bigger and better spirit that

i

can and will survive this.

Jolene

In a message dated 6/16/2008 8:45:04 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

sposy@... writes:

Hi ,

I totally understand what you are saying, however, I don't believe that the

good old days are gone. If and when you have a good day, celebrate it! You

are still you no matter what happens. I lost 180 pounds. Sure all that

blubber covered up emotional things like a rape,etc. But once I shed those

pounds,

and I dealt with all the emotional stuff, the " new " physical me, I still was

and am ME. I just happen to have RA now. Yup, I get frustrated, but I will

never ever say goodbye to the person pre RA because she still exists. Maybe

there are days when I can't move like a cat and am more sloth like, but my

heart and soul remain. I also see a therapist and we discuss this all the

time. I do have to work at a slower pace at times, I do have to cut my

gardening

time in half, I do drop things, I even had to have a " first date " cut up my

food for me (long story, ask if you want to, yup its funny), I now have

neuropathy in my fingertips and heels, but so what? LOL, just another thing

to

add to my list. My therapist is also a Breast Cancer survivor, and we both

have " attitudes " I guess.

I just don't want people to lose themselves because of RA or any illness

that might come along and try to " consume " us. We have to accept reality,

but

we cannot deny the past. Ok , jumping off my soap box. I have a 7am MRI

tomorrow of my head that I am not looking forward to because of some recent

cognitive issues, so if I've repeated myself or totally said something out

of whack

, forgive me. In case you are wondering, I've already found out if they

have my favorite radio station to listen to while I'm trapped for 45 minutes

in

that " open " torture chamber!

Please don't be mad at me....

Heidi in Mass.

To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those who dont, no

explanation is possible

In a message dated 6/16/2008 8:26:57 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

_bennion8@..._ (mailto:bennion8@...) writes:

,

You will never know how much I needed to read your post today.

Thank you very much for sharing those thoughts.

God Bless,

-- In _ @-- In _RA-S-- In _ @_ @groRA-SUPP_

(mailto: ) ) ,

" " <man_u8@...> wrote:

>

> When I have a good day, I take full advantage of it. I wanted to

> share with everyone about my rescent therapy session. I have been

> going to therapy on and off for years. With all my recent drama, I

> needed it. She was asking about my RA/fibromyalgia. I told her

that

> I have had it for the past 7 years. I miss the person that I once

> was and I want to find that person again and learn to love myself

> again. She said, that is my problem...I am not going to find that

> person anymore. Chronic pain conditions change who you are and how

to

> you need to approach life. I need to find the person who I am

> supposed to be now. It was like a light clicked on in my head. I

> thought all these years that I learned to accept it. I have been

> angery about life. She said what will help me move on, is to greive

> my oldself and learn to embrace who I am today. She can help me

with

> that. I had stopped doing alot of things that I used to enjoy. I

> thought I had accepted being in chronic pain. I will keep you all

> enformed on how this process goes...but it made sense to me.

> Sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else for it to make

> sense. Enjoy the good days that you have.

>

>

>

>

>

> > & gt;

> > & gt; Hello Listers!

> > & gt;

> > & gt; Happy Fathers Day to all you men on this list! I have to

share

> > with you all

> > & gt; that I am feeling great today! I just danced with some

> friends,

> > and am

> > & gt; ready to hit Bath and Body Works for the last day of the

sale!

> Run

> > girls run! I

> > & gt; still feel great as I sit here and write this. I want to

know,

> > that when you

> > & gt; all have days like this, do you ever wonder if maybe you

> shouldn't

> > have

> > & gt; danced like that? Because I really believe in things like

> Dance

> > til there's no

> > & gt; tomorrow! But there is that RA cloud....do you think

sometimes

> we

> > hold back

> > & gt; from doing what we want to do and maybe CAN do because the

> pain is

> > just

> > & gt; lurking around the corner? I know for me I get scared to say

> that

> > I could be going

> > & gt; into remission. I mean, what a wonderful thing right?!?!?!?

> > & gt; Please don't think I'm taking away from the reality of

anyones

> > pain, because

> > & gt; you all know I've been there too, and in all likelihood will

> be

> > there again,

> > & gt; but I got kind of frustrated that while dancing and laughing

> and

> > being 16

> > & gt; again, I had thoughts of tramadol will be needed later for

> sure!

> > If some of

> > & gt; this is making you laugh, great,,,,that' s good for the

> soul....but

> > I'd love to

> > & gt; hear your thoughts on it.

> > & gt;

> > & gt; I'm saddened by the passing of Tim Russert. When you listen

to

> > how much he

> > & gt; was loved by his friends, wow. If I could strive to be just

> 1/4 of

> > the

> > & gt; person he is/was, I would be a very happy girl. Ok...enough,

I

> > really need to get

> > & gt; to that sale. I never met a sale I didn't like! I'm going to

> > drive with my

> > & gt; radio loud and sing. I can't wait to see what you all have

to

> > say! It's ok

> > & gt; if you call me nuts...LOL, it won't be the first time and I

> > promise you it

> > & gt; won't be the last time I get this way...wink wink!

> > & gt;

> > & gt; Now, go dance!

> > & gt;

> > & gt; Heidi in Mass.....

> > & gt;

> > & gt; To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those

> who

> > dont, no

> > & gt; explanation is possible

> > & gt;

> > & gt;

> > & gt;

> > & gt; ************ **Vote for your city's best dining and

nightlife.

> > City's Best

> > & gt; 2008. (__http://citysbest.h_ (http://citysbest._/)

(_http://citysbest.h_ (http://citysbest./) ) aol.com?ncid=

aolacg0005000000 0102)

> > & gt;

> > & gt;

> > & gt; [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

> > & gt;

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

When I have a good day, I take full advantage of it. I wanted to

share with everyone about my rescent therapy session. I have been

going to therapy on and off for years. With all my recent drama, I

needed it. She was asking about my RA/fibromyalgia. I told her that

I have had it for the past 7 years. I miss the person that I once

was and I want to find that person again and learn to love myself

again. She said, that is my problem...I am not going to find that

person anymore. Chronic pain conditions change who you are and how to

you need to approach life. I need to find the person who I am

supposed to be now. It was like a light clicked on in my head. I

thought all these years that I learned to accept it. I have been

angery about life. She said what will help me move on, is to greive

my oldself and learn to embrace who I am today. She can help me with

that. I had stopped doing alot of things that I used to enjoy. I

thought I had accepted being in chronic pain. I will keep you all

enformed on how this process goes...but it made sense to me.

Sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else for it to make

sense. Enjoy the good days that you have.

> & gt;

> & gt; Hello Listers!

> & gt;

> & gt; Happy Fathers Day to all you men on this list! I have to share

> with you all

> & gt; that I am feeling great today! I just danced with some

friends,

> and am

> & gt; ready to hit Bath and Body Works for the last day of the sale!

Run

> girls run! I

> & gt; still feel great as I sit here and write this. I want to know,

> that when you

> & gt; all have days like this, do you ever wonder if maybe you

shouldn't

> have

> & gt; danced like that? Because I really believe in things like

Dance

> til there's no

> & gt; tomorrow! But there is that RA cloud....do you think sometimes

we

> hold back

> & gt; from doing what we want to do and maybe CAN do because the

pain is

> just

> & gt; lurking around the corner? I know for me I get scared to say

that

> I could be going

> & gt; into remission. I mean, what a wonderful thing right?!?!?!?

> & gt; Please don't think I'm taking away from the reality of anyones

> pain, because

> & gt; you all know I've been there too, and in all likelihood will

be

> there again,

> & gt; but I got kind of frustrated that while dancing and laughing

and

> being 16

> & gt; again, I had thoughts of tramadol will be needed later for

sure!

> If some of

> & gt; this is making you laugh, great,,,,that' s good for the

soul....but

> I'd love to

> & gt; hear your thoughts on it.

> & gt;

> & gt; I'm saddened by the passing of Tim Russert. When you listen to

> how much he

> & gt; was loved by his friends, wow. If I could strive to be just

1/4 of

> the

> & gt; person he is/was, I would be a very happy girl. Ok...enough, I

> really need to get

> & gt; to that sale. I never met a sale I didn't like! I'm going to

> drive with my

> & gt; radio loud and sing. I can't wait to see what you all have to

> say! It's ok

> & gt; if you call me nuts...LOL, it won't be the first time and I

> promise you it

> & gt; won't be the last time I get this way...wink wink!

> & gt;

> & gt; Now, go dance!

> & gt;

> & gt; Heidi in Mass.....

> & gt;

> & gt; To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those

who

> dont, no

> & gt; explanation is possible

> & gt;

> & gt;

> & gt;

> & gt; ************ **Vote for your city's best dining and nightlife.

> City's Best

> & gt; 2008. (http://citysbest. aol.com?ncid= aolacg0005000000 0102)

> & gt;

> & gt;

> & gt;

[Guest guest]

,

You will never know how much I needed to read your post today.

Thank you very much for sharing those thoughts.

God Bless,

-- In , " " <man_u8@...> wrote:

>

> When I have a good day, I take full advantage of it. I wanted to

> share with everyone about my rescent therapy session. I have been

> going to therapy on and off for years. With all my recent drama, I

> needed it. She was asking about my RA/fibromyalgia. I told her

that

> I have had it for the past 7 years. I miss the person that I once

> was and I want to find that person again and learn to love myself

> again. She said, that is my problem...I am not going to find that

> person anymore. Chronic pain conditions change who you are and how

to

> you need to approach life. I need to find the person who I am

> supposed to be now. It was like a light clicked on in my head. I

> thought all these years that I learned to accept it. I have been

> angery about life. She said what will help me move on, is to greive

> my oldself and learn to embrace who I am today. She can help me

with

> that. I had stopped doing alot of things that I used to enjoy. I

> thought I had accepted being in chronic pain. I will keep you all

> enformed on how this process goes...but it made sense to me.

> Sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else for it to make

> sense. Enjoy the good days that you have.

>

>

>

>

>

> > & gt;

> > & gt; Hello Listers!

> > & gt;

> > & gt; Happy Fathers Day to all you men on this list! I have to

share

> > with you all

> > & gt; that I am feeling great today! I just danced with some

> friends,

> > and am

> > & gt; ready to hit Bath and Body Works for the last day of the

sale!

> Run

> > girls run! I

> > & gt; still feel great as I sit here and write this. I want to

know,

> > that when you

> > & gt; all have days like this, do you ever wonder if maybe you

> shouldn't

> > have

> > & gt; danced like that? Because I really believe in things like

> Dance

> > til there's no

> > & gt; tomorrow! But there is that RA cloud....do you think

sometimes

> we

> > hold back

> > & gt; from doing what we want to do and maybe CAN do because the

> pain is

> > just

> > & gt; lurking around the corner? I know for me I get scared to say

> that

> > I could be going

> > & gt; into remission. I mean, what a wonderful thing right?!?!?!?

> > & gt; Please don't think I'm taking away from the reality of

anyones

> > pain, because

> > & gt; you all know I've been there too, and in all likelihood will

> be

> > there again,

> > & gt; but I got kind of frustrated that while dancing and laughing

> and

> > being 16

> > & gt; again, I had thoughts of tramadol will be needed later for

> sure!

> > If some of

> > & gt; this is making you laugh, great,,,,that' s good for the

> soul....but

> > I'd love to

> > & gt; hear your thoughts on it.

> > & gt;

> > & gt; I'm saddened by the passing of Tim Russert. When you listen

to

> > how much he

> > & gt; was loved by his friends, wow. If I could strive to be just

> 1/4 of

> > the

> > & gt; person he is/was, I would be a very happy girl. Ok...enough,

I

> > really need to get

> > & gt; to that sale. I never met a sale I didn't like! I'm going to

> > drive with my

> > & gt; radio loud and sing. I can't wait to see what you all have

to

> > say! It's ok

> > & gt; if you call me nuts...LOL, it won't be the first time and I

> > promise you it

> > & gt; won't be the last time I get this way...wink wink!

> > & gt;

> > & gt; Now, go dance!

> > & gt;

> > & gt; Heidi in Mass.....

> > & gt;

> > & gt; To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those

> who

> > dont, no

> > & gt; explanation is possible

> > & gt;

> > & gt;

> > & gt;

> > & gt; ************ **Vote for your city's best dining and

nightlife.

> > City's Best

> > & gt; 2008. (http://citysbest. aol.com?ncid= aolacg0005000000 0102)

> > & gt;

> > & gt;

> > & gt;

[Guest guest]

Sending thoughts of wide open flower fields for you to enjoy while in

the chamber of claustrophobia!!!!

:-)

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; Hello Listers!

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; Happy Fathers Day to all you men on this list! I have to

> share

> > > with you all

> > > & gt; that I am feeling great today! I just danced with some

> > friends,

> > > and am

> > > & gt; ready to hit Bath and Body Works for the last day of the

> sale!

> > Run

> > > girls run! I

> > > & gt; still feel great as I sit here and write this. I want to

> know,

> > > that when you

> > > & gt; all have days like this, do you ever wonder if maybe you

> > shouldn't

> > > have

> > > & gt; danced like that? Because I really believe in things like

> > Dance

> > > til there's no

> > > & gt; tomorrow! But there is that RA cloud....do you think

> sometimes

> > we

> > > hold back

> > > & gt; from doing what we want to do and maybe CAN do because the

> > pain is

> > > just

> > > & gt; lurking around the corner? I know for me I get scared to say

> > that

> > > I could be going

> > > & gt; into remission. I mean, what a wonderful thing right?!?!?!?

> > > & gt; Please don't think I'm taking away from the reality of

> anyones

> > > pain, because

> > > & gt; you all know I've been there too, and in all likelihood will

> > be

> > > there again,

> > > & gt; but I got kind of frustrated that while dancing and laughing

> > and

> > > being 16

> > > & gt; again, I had thoughts of tramadol will be needed later for

> > sure!

> > > If some of

> > > & gt; this is making you laugh, great,,,,that' s good for the

> > soul....but

> > > I'd love to

> > > & gt; hear your thoughts on it.

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; I'm saddened by the passing of Tim Russert. When you listen

> to

> > > how much he

> > > & gt; was loved by his friends, wow. If I could strive to be just

> > 1/4 of

> > > the

> > > & gt; person he is/was, I would be a very happy girl. Ok...enough,

> I

> > > really need to get

> > > & gt; to that sale. I never met a sale I didn't like! I'm going to

> > > drive with my

> > > & gt; radio loud and sing. I can't wait to see what you all have

> to

> > > say! It's ok

> > > & gt; if you call me nuts...LOL, it won't be the first time and I

> > > promise you it

> > > & gt; won't be the last time I get this way...wink wink!

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; Now, go dance!

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; Heidi in Mass.....

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those

> > who

> > > dont, no

> > > & gt; explanation is possible

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; ************ **Vote for your city's best dining and

> nightlife.

> > > City's Best

> > > & gt; 2008. (_http://citysbest._ (http://citysbest./)

aol.com?ncid=

> aolacg0005000000 0102)

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

> > > & gt;

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

In the past couple of weeks I think I've finally internalized the fact

that I am going to have good and bad days. There is no miracle cure.

So I made the decision to step back into my life.

For the past 6 months I have been a virtual hermit, moving between

home, work, and dr's. I finally decided to DO things again. I started

ushering at a local theatre last week (I'm a theatre buff and was

deeply involved in local theatre for years in the past). I made a

couple of volunteer commitments and added a couple of get-togethers to

my social calendar. I went to the mall...I just moved very slowly and

rested more often.

And I feel really good having this stuff on my agenda. I'm determined

to bully my way through it no matter what.

So hear hear, huzzah, (or whatever voice of approval you want) to

Heidi's sentiments!!!!!

:-)

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; Hello Listers!

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; Happy Fathers Day to all you men on this list! I have to

> share

> > > with you all

> > > & gt; that I am feeling great today! I just danced with some

> > friends,

> > > and am

> > > & gt; ready to hit Bath and Body Works for the last day of the

> sale!

> > Run

> > > girls run! I

> > > & gt; still feel great as I sit here and write this. I want to

> know,

> > > that when you

> > > & gt; all have days like this, do you ever wonder if maybe you

> > shouldn't

> > > have

> > > & gt; danced like that? Because I really believe in things like

> > Dance

> > > til there's no

> > > & gt; tomorrow! But there is that RA cloud....do you think

> sometimes

> > we

> > > hold back

> > > & gt; from doing what we want to do and maybe CAN do because the

> > pain is

> > > just

> > > & gt; lurking around the corner? I know for me I get scared to say

> > that

> > > I could be going

> > > & gt; into remission. I mean, what a wonderful thing right?!?!?!?

> > > & gt; Please don't think I'm taking away from the reality of

> anyones

> > > pain, because

> > > & gt; you all know I've been there too, and in all likelihood will

> > be

> > > there again,

> > > & gt; but I got kind of frustrated that while dancing and laughing

> > and

> > > being 16

> > > & gt; again, I had thoughts of tramadol will be needed later for

> > sure!

> > > If some of

> > > & gt; this is making you laugh, great,,,,that' s good for the

> > soul....but

> > > I'd love to

> > > & gt; hear your thoughts on it.

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; I'm saddened by the passing of Tim Russert. When you listen

> to

> > > how much he

> > > & gt; was loved by his friends, wow. If I could strive to be just

> > 1/4 of

> > > the

> > > & gt; person he is/was, I would be a very happy girl. Ok...enough,

> I

> > > really need to get

> > > & gt; to that sale. I never met a sale I didn't like! I'm going to

> > > drive with my

> > > & gt; radio loud and sing. I can't wait to see what you all have

> to

> > > say! It's ok

> > > & gt; if you call me nuts...LOL, it won't be the first time and I

> > > promise you it

> > > & gt; won't be the last time I get this way...wink wink!

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; Now, go dance!

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; Heidi in Mass.....

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those

> > who

> > > dont, no

> > > & gt; explanation is possible

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; ************ **Vote for your city's best dining and

> nightlife.

> > > City's Best

> > > & gt; 2008. (_http://citysbest._ (http://citysbest./)

aol.com?ncid=

> aolacg0005000000 0102)

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

> > > & gt;

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Great post as always Heidi! I so agree! We still have the same beautiful spirit

and qualities we were born with. & nbsp; Illness, whether it be RA, FMS,

depression, anxiety, diabetes, it's all just a " LABEL " . & nbsp; It doesn't define

WHO or WHAT I am. & nbsp; I'm still kind, still generous, still caring, still

giving, I'm still me! I've just learned that I have more strength and patience

than I ever thought I had. & nbsp; I'm still Me, Only better!

& nbsp;

Good luck on the MRI! And please keep me posted!

Steph

& gt;

& gt; When I have a good day, I take full advantage of it. I wanted to

& gt; share with everyone about my rescent therapy session. I have been

& gt; going to therapy on and off for years. With all my recent drama, I

& gt; needed it. She was asking about my RA/fibromyalgia. I told her

that

& gt; I have had it for the past 7 years. I miss the person that I once

& gt; was and I want to find that person again and learn to love myself

& gt; again. She said, that is my problem...I am not going to find that

& gt; person anymore. Chronic pain conditions change who you are and how

to

& gt; you need to approach life. I need to find the person who I am

& gt; supposed to be now. It was like a light clicked on in my head. I

& gt; thought all these years that I learned to accept it. I have been

& gt; angery about life. She said what will help me move on, is to greive

& gt; my oldself and learn to embrace who I am today. She can help me

with

& gt; that. I had stopped doing alot of things that I used to enjoy. I

& gt; thought I had accepted being in chronic pain. I will keep you all

& gt; enformed on how this process goes...but it made sense to me.

& gt; Sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else for it to make

& gt; sense. Enjoy the good days that you have.

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt;

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; Hello Listers!

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt;

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; Happy Fathers Day to all you men on this list! I have to

share

& gt; & gt; with you all

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; that I am feeling great today! I just danced with some

& gt; friends,

& gt; & gt; and am

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; ready to hit Bath and Body Works for the last day of the

sale!

& gt; Run

& gt; & gt; girls run! I

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; still feel great as I sit here and write this. I want to

know,

& gt; & gt; that when you

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; all have days like this, do you ever wonder if maybe you

& gt; shouldn't

& gt; & gt; have

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; danced like that? Because I really believe in things like

& gt; Dance

& gt; & gt; til there's no

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; tomorrow! But there is that RA cloud....do you think

sometimes

& gt; we

& gt; & gt; hold back

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; from doing what we want to do and maybe CAN do because the

& gt; pain is

& gt; & gt; just

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; lurking around the corner? I know for me I get scared to say

& gt; that

& gt; & gt; I could be going

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; into remission. I mean, what a wonderful thing right?!?!?!?

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; Please don't think I'm taking away from the reality of

anyones

& gt; & gt; pain, because

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; you all know I've been there too, and in all likelihood will

& gt; be

& gt; & gt; there again,

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; but I got kind of frustrated that while dancing and laughing

& gt; and

& gt; & gt; being 16

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; again, I had thoughts of tramadol will be needed later for

& gt; sure!

& gt; & gt; If some of

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; this is making you laugh, great,,,,that' s good for the

& gt; soul....but

& gt; & gt; I'd love to

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; hear your thoughts on it.

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt;

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; I'm saddened by the passing of Tim Russert. When you listen

to

& gt; & gt; how much he

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; was loved by his friends, wow. If I could strive to be just

& gt; 1/4 of

& gt; & gt; the

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; person he is/was, I would be a very happy girl. Ok...enough,

I

& gt; & gt; really need to get

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; to that sale. I never met a sale I didn't like! I'm going to

& gt; & gt; drive with my

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; radio loud and sing. I can't wait to see what you all have

to

& gt; & gt; say! It's ok

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; if you call me nuts...LOL, it won't be the first time and I

& gt; & gt; promise you it

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; won't be the last time I get this way...wink wink!

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt;

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; Now, go dance!

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt;

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; Heidi in Mass.....

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt;

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those

& gt; who

& gt; & gt; dont, no

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; explanation is possible

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt;

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt;

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt;

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; ************ **Vote for your city's best dining and

nightlife.

& gt; & gt; City's Best

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt; 2008. (__http://citysbest. h_ (http://citysbest. _/)

(_http://citysbest. h_ (http://citysbest. /) ) aol.com?ncid=

aolacg0005000000 0102)

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt;

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt;

& gt; & gt; & amp;gt;

[Guest guest]

WAY TO GO HEIDI!! don't ever give up,yes there will b bad days but good days

too. just do the BEST you can & live as if it was your last day on earth... i

too move slowly but rest more often.. IT WORKS!! god bless,melyndagamez 6/16/08

10:21p.m.central

[ ] Re: Thoughts from everyone please...

In the past couple of weeks I think I've finally internalized the fact

that I am going to have good and bad days. There is no miracle cure.

So I made the decision to step back into my life.

For the past 6 months I have been a virtual hermit, moving between

home, work, and dr's. I finally decided to DO things again. I started

ushering at a local theatre last week (I'm a theatre buff and was

deeply involved in local theatre for years in the past). I made a

couple of volunteer commitments and added a couple of get-togethers to

my social calendar. I went to the mall...I just moved very slowly and

rested more often.

And I feel really good having this stuff on my agenda. I'm determined

to bully my way through it no matter what.

So hear hear, huzzah, (or whatever voice of approval you want) to

Heidi's sentiments!!!!!

:-)

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; Hello  Listers!

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; Happy Fathers Day to all  you men on this list! I have to

> share

> > > with you all

> >  > & gt; that I am feeling great today! I just danced with some

> >  friends,

> > > and am

> > > & gt; ready to hit Bath and  Body Works for the last day of the

> sale!

> > Run

> > > girls  run! I

> > > & gt; still feel great as I sit here and write this. I  want to

> know,

> > > that when you

> > > & gt; all have  days like this, do you ever wonder if maybe you

> > shouldn't

> >  > have

> > > & gt; danced like that? Because I really believe in  things like

> > Dance

> > > til there's no

> > > & gt;  tomorrow! But there is that RA cloud....do you think

> sometimes

> > we 

> > > hold back

> > > & gt; from doing what we want to do  and maybe CAN do because the

> > pain is

> > > just

> > >  & gt; lurking around the corner? I know for me I get scared to say

> >  that

> > > I could be going

> > > & gt; into remission. I  mean, what a wonderful thing right?!?!?!?

> > > & gt; Please don't  think I'm taking away from the reality of

> anyones

> > > pain,  because

> > > & gt; you all know I've been there too, and in all  likelihood will

> > be

> > > there again,

> > > & gt;  but I got kind of frustrated that while dancing and laughing

> > and 

> > > being 16

> > > & gt; again, I had thoughts of  tramadol will be needed later for

> > sure!

> > > If some of 

> > > & gt; this is making you laugh, great,,,,that' s good for the 

> > soul....but

> > > I'd love to

> > > & gt; hear  your thoughts on it.

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; I'm  saddened by the passing of Tim Russert. When you listen

> to

> > >  how much he

> > > & gt; was loved by his friends, wow. If I could  strive to be just

> > 1/4 of

> > > the

> > > & gt;  person he is/was, I would be a very happy girl. Ok...enough,

> I

> >  > really need to get

> > > & gt; to that sale. I never met a  sale I didn't like! I'm going to

> > > drive with my

> > >  & gt; radio loud and sing. I can't wait to see what you all have

> to 

> > > say! It's ok

> > > & gt; if you call me nuts...LOL,  it won't be the first time and I

> > > promise you it

> > >  & gt; won't be the last time I get this way...wink wink!

> > >  & gt;

> > > & gt; Now, go dance!

> > > & gt;

> >  > & gt; Heidi in Mass.....

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt;  To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those

> > who 

> > > dont, no

> > > & gt; explanation is possible

> >  > & gt;

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt;

> > >  & gt; ************ **Vote for your city's best dining and

> nightlife. 

> > > City's Best

> > > & gt; 2008. (_http://citysbest._ (http://citysbest./) 

aol.com?ncid=

> aolacg0005000000 0102)

> > > & gt;

> > >  & gt;

> > > & gt; [Non-text portions of this message have been  removed]

> > > & gt;

> > >

> > >

> > > 

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >  >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > 

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > 

[Guest guest]

hi jane, i loved reading your post. you r sooo right,if you r going to b in PAIN

you DANCE your ASS off!! at least you danced & u have a reason to b in pain. you

go woman!!! REST,REST,REST, SO U CAN B YOUR BEST! god bless,melyndagamez 6/16/08

10:32p.m.central

Re: [ ] Re: Thoughts from everyone please...

WAY TO GO HEIDI SO WELL SAID.  I have rsd not sure if any of you know  but it

is highest on the pain scale above cancer!!!!! I also have psoriasis/ ra  and

or psoriatic arthtritis etc.  I listed to all the people tell me i  would be

in a wheelchair, of which can happen with rsd, but i thought my life  was over

I was also diagnosed with the ra and well in the beginning with  the rsd i

had a nervous breakdown cause i thoughtmy life was over!!1 Thank god  and i say

god cause that's what put me on my feet. It took me six months to walk 

again, i couldn't even stand to take a shower, and i have five kids.  My  life

is

far from over i just have to learn how to do new things.  Do i have  bad days

yes alot, but i have good days.  I gardened this year last year i  couldn't

getout of bed. I am still the old me, but with a bigger and better  spirit that

i

can and will survive this.

Jolene

In a message dated 6/16/2008 8:45:04 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, 

sposy@... writes:

Hi ,

I totally understand what you are saying, however, I  don't believe that the

good old days are gone. If and when you have a good  day, celebrate it! You

are still you no matter what happens. I lost 180  pounds. Sure all that

blubber covered up emotional things like a rape,etc..  But once I shed those

pounds,

and I dealt with all the emotional stuff,  the " new " physical me, I still was

and am ME. I just happen to have RA  now. Yup, I get frustrated, but I will

never ever say goodbye to the  person pre RA because she still exists. Maybe

there are days when I can't  move like a cat and am more sloth like, but my

heart and soul remain. I  also see a therapist and we discuss this all the

time. I do have to work  at a slower pace at times, I do have to cut my

gardening

time in half, I  do drop things, I even had to have a " first date " cut up my

food for me  (long story, ask if you want to, yup its funny), I now have

neuropathy in  my fingertips and heels, but so what? LOL, just another thing

to

add to my  list. My therapist is also a Breast Cancer survivor, and we both

have  " attitudes " I guess.

I just don't want people to lose themselves because  of RA or any illness

that might come along and try to " consume " us. We  have to accept reality,

but

we cannot deny the past. Ok , jumping off my  soap box. I have a 7am MRI

tomorrow of my head that I am not looking  forward to because of some recent

cognitive issues, so if I've repeated  myself or totally said something out

of whack

, forgive me. In case you  are wondering, I've already found out if they

have my favorite radio  station to listen to while I'm trapped for 45 minutes

in

that " open "   torture chamber!

Please don't be mad at me....

Heidi in Mass. 

To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those who dont,  no

explanation is possible

In a message dated 6/16/2008 8:26:57  P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

_bennion8@..._ (mailto:bennion8@...)  writes:

,

You will never know how much I needed to read your  post today.

Thank you very much for sharing those thoughts.

God  Bless,

-- In _ @-- In _RA-S-- In _ @_ @groRA-SUPP_

(mailto: ) )  ,

" " <man_u8@...> wrote:

>

> When I have a good  day, I take full advantage of it. I wanted to

> share with everyone  about my rescent therapy session. I have been

> going to therapy on and  off for years. With all my recent drama, I

> needed it. She was asking  about my RA/fibromyalgia. I told her

that

> I have had it for the  past 7 years. I miss the person that I once

> was and I want to find  that person again and learn to love myself

> again. She said, that is  my problem...I am not going to find that

> person anymore. Chronic pain  conditions change who you are and how

to

> you need to approach  life.. I need to find the person who I am

> supposed to be now. It was  like a light clicked on in my head. I

> thought all these years that I  learned to accept it. I have been

> angery about life. She said what  will help me move on, is to greive

> my oldself and learn to embrace  who I am today. She can help me

with

> that. I had stopped doing  alot of things that I used to enjoy. I

> thought I had accepted being  in chronic pain. I will keep you all

> enformed on how this process  goes...but it made sense to me.

> Sometimes you just need to hear it  from someone else for it to make

> sense. Enjoy the good days that you  have.

>

>

>

>

>

> > & gt;

> > & gt; Hello  Listers!

> > & gt;

> > & gt; Happy Fathers Day to all  you men on this list! I have to

share

> > with you all

>  > & gt; that I am feeling great today! I just danced with some

>  friends,

> > and am

> > & gt; ready to hit Bath and  Body Works for the last day of the

sale!

> Run

> > girls  run! I

> > & gt; still feel great as I sit here and write this. I  want to

know,

> > that when you

> > & gt; all have  days like this, do you ever wonder if maybe you

> shouldn't

>  > have

> > & gt; danced like that? Because I really believe in  things like

> Dance

> > til there's no

> > & gt;  tomorrow! But there is that RA cloud....do you think

sometimes

> we 

> > hold back

> > & gt; from doing what we want to do  and maybe CAN do because the

> pain is

> > just

> >  & gt; lurking around the corner? I know for me I get scared to say

>  that

> > I could be going

> > & gt; into remission. I  mean, what a wonderful thing right?!?!?!?

> > & gt; Please don't  think I'm taking away from the reality of

anyones

> > pain,  because

> > & gt; you all know I've been there too, and in all  likelihood will

> be

> > there again,

> > & gt;  but I got kind of frustrated that while dancing and laughing

> and 

> > being 16

> > & gt; again, I had thoughts of  tramadol will be needed later for

> sure!

> > If some of 

> > & gt; this is making you laugh, great,,,,that' s good for the 

> soul....but

> > I'd love to

> > & gt; hear  your thoughts on it.

> > & gt;

> > & gt; I'm  saddened by the passing of Tim Russert. When you listen

to

> >  how much he

> > & gt; was loved by his friends, wow. If I could  strive to be just

> 1/4 of

> > the

> > & gt;  person he is/was, I would be a very happy girl. Ok...enough,

I

>  > really need to get

> > & gt; to that sale. I never met a  sale I didn't like! I'm going to

> > drive with my

> >  & gt; radio loud and sing. I can't wait to see what you all have

to 

> > say! It's ok

> > & gt; if you call me nuts...LOL,  it won't be the first time and I

> > promise you it

> >  & gt; won't be the last time I get this way...wink wink!

> >  & gt;

> > & gt; Now, go dance!

> > & gt;

>  > & gt; Heidi in Mass.....

> > & gt;

> > & gt;  To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those

> who 

> > dont, no

> > & gt; explanation is possible

>  > & gt;

> > & gt;

> > & gt;

> >  & gt; ************ **Vote for your city's best dining and

nightlife. 

> > City's Best

> > & gt; 2008. (__http://citysbest.h_ (http://citysbest._/) 

(_http://citysbest.h_ (http://citysbest./) ) aol.com?ncid= 

aolacg0005000000 0102)

> > & gt;

> > & gt; 

> > & gt; [Non-text portions of this message have been  removed]

> > & gt;

> >

> >

> > 

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>  >

> >

> >

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[Guest guest]

hope everything goes well heidi on your mri! just RELAX & STAY CALM. CLOSE

EYES!!!!! KEEP US POSTED? god bless,melyndagamez 6/16/08 10:35central

Re: [ ] Re: Thoughts from everyone please...

Hi ,

I totally understand what you are saying, however, I don't  believe that the

good old days are gone. If and when you have a good day,  celebrate it! You

are still you no matter what happens.  I lost 180  pounds.  Sure all that

blubber covered up emotional things like a  rape,etc.  But once I shed those

pounds,

and I dealt with all the emotional  stuff, the " new " physical me, I still was

and am ME.  I just happen to have  RA now.  Yup, I get frustrated, but I will

never ever say goodbye to the  person pre RA because she still exists.  Maybe

there are days when I  can't move like a cat and am more sloth like, but my

heart and soul  remain.  I also see a therapist and we discuss this all the

time. I do have  to work at a slower pace at times, I do have to cut my

gardening

time in half, I  do drop things, I even had to have a " first date " cut up my

food for me (long  story, ask if you want to, yup its funny), I now have

neuropathy in my  fingertips and heels, but so what?  LOL, just another thing to

add to my  list.  My therapist is also a Breast Cancer survivor, and we both

have  " attitudes " I guess.

I just don't want people to lose themselves because of RA or  any illness

that might come along and try to " consume " us.  We have to  accept reality, but

we cannot deny the past. Ok , jumping off my soap box.  I have a 7am MRI

tomorrow of my head that I am not looking forward to because of  some recent

cognitive issues, so if I've repeated myself or totally said  something out of

whack

, forgive me.  In case you are wondering, I've  already found out if they

have my favorite radio station to listen to while I'm  trapped for 45 minutes in

that " open " torture chamber! 

Please don't be mad at me....

Heidi in Mass.

To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those who  dont, no

explanation is possible 

In a message dated 6/16/2008 8:26:57 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, 

bennion8@... writes:

,

You will never know how much I needed to read your post today. 

Thank you very much for sharing those thoughts.

God  Bless,

-- In _ @groRA-SUPP_ (mailto: ) , 

" " <man_u8@...> wrote:

>

> When I have a good day, I  take full advantage of it. I wanted to

> share with everyone about my  rescent therapy session. I have been

> going to therapy on and off for  years. With all my recent drama, I

> needed it. She was asking about my  RA/fibromyalgia. I told her

that

> I have had it for the past 7  years. I miss the person that I once

> was and I want to find that  person again and learn to love myself

> again. She said, that is my  problem...I am not going to find that

> person anymore. Chronic pain  conditions change who you are and how

to

> you need to approach  life. I need to find the person who I am

> supposed to be now. It was  like a light clicked on in my head. I

> thought all these years that I  learned to accept it. I have been

> angery about life. She said what  will help me move on, is to greive

> my oldself and learn to embrace  who I am today. She can help me

with

> that. I had stopped doing  alot of things that I used to enjoy. I

> thought I had accepted being  in chronic pain. I will keep you all

> enformed on how this process  goes...but it made sense to me.

> Sometimes you just need to hear it  from someone else for it to make

> sense. Enjoy the good days that you  have.

>

>

>

>

>

> > & gt;

> > & gt; Hello  Listers!

> > & gt;

> > & gt; Happy Fathers Day to all  you men on this list! I have to

share

> > with you all

>  > & gt; that I am feeling great today! I just danced with some

>  friends,

> > and am

> > & gt; ready to hit Bath and  Body Works for the last day of the

sale!

> Run

> > girls  run! I

> > & gt; still feel great as I sit here and write this. I  want to

know,

> > that when you

> > & gt; all have  days like this, do you ever wonder if maybe you

> shouldn't

>  > have

> > & gt; danced like that? Because I really believe in  things like

> Dance

> > til there's no

> > & gt;  tomorrow! But there is that RA cloud....do you think

sometimes

> we 

> > hold back

> > & gt; from doing what we want to do  and maybe CAN do because the

> pain is

> > just

> >  & gt; lurking around the corner? I know for me I get scared to say

>  that

> > I could be going

> > & gt; into remission. I  mean, what a wonderful thing right?!?!?!?

> > & gt; Please don't  think I'm taking away from the reality of

anyones

> > pain,  because

> > & gt; you all know I've been there too, and in all  likelihood will

> be

> > there again,

> > & gt;  but I got kind of frustrated that while dancing and laughing

> and 

> > being 16

> > & gt; again, I had thoughts of  tramadol will be needed later for

> sure!

> > If some of 

> > & gt; this is making you laugh, great,,,,that' s good for the 

> soul.....but

> > I'd love to

> > & gt; hear  your thoughts on it.

> > & gt;

> > & gt; I'm  saddened by the passing of Tim Russert. When you listen

to

> >  how much he

> > & gt; was loved by his friends, wow. If I could  strive to be just

> 1/4 of

> > the

> > & gt;  person he is/was, I would be a very happy girl. Ok...enough,

I

>  > really need to get

> > & gt; to that sale. I never met a  sale I didn't like! I'm going to

> > drive with my

> >  & gt; radio loud and sing. I can't wait to see what you all have

to 

> > say! It's ok

> > & gt; if you call me nuts...LOL,  it won't be the first time and I

> > promise you it

> >  & gt; won't be the last time I get this way...wink wink!

> >  & gt;

> > & gt; Now, go dance!

> > & gt;

>  > & gt; Heidi in Mass.....

> > & gt;

> > & gt;  To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those

> who 

> > dont, no

> > & gt; explanation is possible

>  > & gt;

> > & gt;

> > & gt;

> >  & gt; ************ **Vote for your city's best dining and

nightlife. 

> > City's Best

> > & gt; 2008. (_http://citysbest._ (http://citysbest./)  aol.com?ncid=

aolacg0005000000 0102)

> > & gt;

> >  & gt;

> > & gt; [Non-text portions of this message have been  removed]

> > & gt;

> >

> >

> > 

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>  >

> >

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[Guest guest]

Heidi,

Oh god, no I am not mad. I know I am still " me " , but I have been

searching for who I was pre-RA. I was 24 when I was diagnosed and I

am 31 now...I was pretty reckless before I was diagnosed. I think I

was trying to find my 18 y/o self again. I would love to have my 18

y/o body again...lol. When I do have good days, I try to take

advantage of it because I don't know when my next one will come. I

know the good days are not over, but I guess what I was trying to say

is you need to embrace who you are today. I never wanted to accept

who I have been for the past few years. (I had my bowel puntured 2

years ago and that has left me scarred emotionally and physically).

I have been trying to become the person I was before my tramatic

hospitization. I have really bad PTSD and anxiety from it. That

person does not exisit anymore, it has been a real struggle for me to

accept who I am. I think I found a therapist who can help me find

myself and learn to love myself again. Your past makes who you are

today, but don't let it dictate who will become.

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; Hello Listers!

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; Happy Fathers Day to all you men on this list! I have to

> share

> > > with you all

> > > & gt; that I am feeling great today! I just danced with some

> > friends,

> > > and am

> > > & gt; ready to hit Bath and Body Works for the last day of the

> sale!

> > Run

> > > girls run! I

> > > & gt; still feel great as I sit here and write this. I want to

> know,

> > > that when you

> > > & gt; all have days like this, do you ever wonder if maybe you

> > shouldn't

> > > have

> > > & gt; danced like that? Because I really believe in things like

> > Dance

> > > til there's no

> > > & gt; tomorrow! But there is that RA cloud....do you think

> sometimes

> > we

> > > hold back

> > > & gt; from doing what we want to do and maybe CAN do because

the

> > pain is

> > > just

> > > & gt; lurking around the corner? I know for me I get scared to

say

> > that

> > > I could be going

> > > & gt; into remission. I mean, what a wonderful thing

right?!?!?!?

> > > & gt; Please don't think I'm taking away from the reality of

> anyones

> > > pain, because

> > > & gt; you all know I've been there too, and in all likelihood

will

> > be

> > > there again,

> > > & gt; but I got kind of frustrated that while dancing and

laughing

> > and

> > > being 16

> > > & gt; again, I had thoughts of tramadol will be needed later

for

> > sure!

> > > If some of

> > > & gt; this is making you laugh, great,,,,that' s good for the

> > soul....but

> > > I'd love to

> > > & gt; hear your thoughts on it.

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; I'm saddened by the passing of Tim Russert. When you

listen

> to

> > > how much he

> > > & gt; was loved by his friends, wow. If I could strive to be

just

> > 1/4 of

> > > the

> > > & gt; person he is/was, I would be a very happy girl.

Ok...enough,

> I

> > > really need to get

> > > & gt; to that sale. I never met a sale I didn't like! I'm going

to

> > > drive with my

> > > & gt; radio loud and sing. I can't wait to see what you all

have

> to

> > > say! It's ok

> > > & gt; if you call me nuts...LOL, it won't be the first time and

I

> > > promise you it

> > > & gt; won't be the last time I get this way...wink wink!

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; Now, go dance!

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; Heidi in Mass.....

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to

those

> > who

> > > dont, no

> > > & gt; explanation is possible

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; ************ **Vote for your city's best dining and

> nightlife.

> > > City's Best

> > > & gt; 2008. (_http://citysbest._ (http://citysbest./) aol.com?

ncid=

> aolacg0005000000 0102)

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt;

> > > & gt; [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

> > > & gt;

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

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> > >