Re: ABUSED sister was killed by her husband.

September 21, 2008

and group;

Your very welcome , I tend to write long post lol In life

I talk a lot. YOu may even say I got the gift to gab, but I don't

think i got the gift since I seem to get my self in trouble from

talking so much lol.

I had a very hard life with pain. It may have made me more

understanding for others in pain. I think all of us here feel for

each others pain. ONe person said one time that All RA doctors

should know what our pain feels like. I guess if they did they

would load us down with narcotics haaaaaaaaaa.

My sister and I had grew apart because her husband was a jerk. I

still miss her so much. Her husband hit her car in the rear with

his truck chasing her making her koreen into a gully rolling a few

times. He put his bumper up and threw it in his truck and went on.

Yep, he got a way with it. My mother told the police it was her

son n laws fault all they did was do a autopsy on her.

An abusive spouse will kill you. Get away no matter what. I got

away from an abusive spouse because of a very smart ER doctor.

About the third time I was in the ER for wounds inflicted by my ex

husband. The doctor came back in (later after he put the stitches

in my head) and said. " Great news Clora, you wont come back to the

er anymore. " I said cool why not. (thinking my x would feel guilty

since I got stitches in my head that time). THe doctor said, " You

will go to the morgue the next time.

OMG, I realized he was right. THey just started abused womens

shelters back than. My mom told me about it. I went there and they

helped me get away from my abuser. I left everything took my

children and the center even got me a volunteer lawyer for my

divorce. It was so hard to leave him. He always said he learned his

lesson and wouldnt hit me ever again. But he always ended up beating

me. Alcohol is an excuse not the reason for abusiveness.

An abuser don't really love you they enjoy owning you. I have a

good life now. My husband is caring and never ever would hit me.

It was worth giving up all my earthly goods to be alive. I left

everything, me and my kids clothes, my precious pictures, my

beautiful furniture, our lovely apartment that had a swimming pool

in the building. A husband that I loved dearly to be alive today.

My sister stayed with her abuser and died tragictly for it. We

couldnt even go visit her he would mistreat us. WE dicided to stay

away from her be cause she wouldnt leave him. I don't know if there

was anything we could do short of killing him and going to prison

the rest of our lives.

I had to tell my story. I remember a woman that was abused that

came to our group. The abuser gets drunk cause he could get away

with the abuse. The abuser is at fault, not the abused person. I

believed my x when he said it was my own fault he beat me. I hope it

is ok to tell my story. I realized all this when I finally got away

from my x.

Your welcome . I found the right combo because of our kind

group. I hope you find your combo. You shouldnt be in so much pain

for so long. It's just not right in our society and with the

technology today.

gentle kind hugs

Clora

> Clora,

> thank you for sharing what you have shared with me and the others

in the group. I'm glad that you have found the right path and the

group here has helped. I try to do my best to help out and

encourage when I can even though some days I feel bad. I'm sorry

about your sisters passing 3 years ago. Some people in the world

just don't understand and some do. I had a supervisor once tell me

well you don't look sick. I told him where to go and found another

job that was before I knew any better and knew that the whole world

didn't care that I was sick and didn't revolve around me. Anyway,

I'm glad you have found the right combo that works for you. I'm

still looking for mine. enbrel has worked for about 2 years for me

and now its not working anymore. I guess after my surgery in

november will start asking my rheumy for something new. at this

point it will probably be remicade along with some other drug. I

can't take mtx it makes me sick both the pills and the shots.

>

> You are a brave woman for sharing some of the things you have

shared. I hope that one day things will change for you and you will

be able to do some of the things you can't do now later.

>

> Jennfer

>

> [ ] Re: PAIN

>

> and group;

>

> I was thinking. Haaaaaaaa, Omg see the smoke from my

head

> from thinking. When I joined the group, I was/am on plaqunil and

> sulfazaline and no pain relief in sight. I was in so much pain

just

> like you discribed and more. After I read the post I knew I

didnt

> have to suffer anymore. I read about Enbrel MXT, humira and many

> other cocktails. I told my RA I wanted and needed something else

> for this horrifying pain I am in.

>

> She gave me prednisone while I waited for the humira. Now that I

am

> on humira the RA pain is almost completely gone. I get shots for

> bursitis, taking lyrcia for fibro, and I am doing neck exercises

> for my neck pain which a fine member of the group told me about.

> Maybe just maybe if you talk to your RA you may find something

> better to help your pain.

>

> Believe me pain is not what you make of it. I thought

that

> also for a long time till the pain hit me hard. My hard that is.

I

> hunt for relief for a few weeks. THis lady on paltalk told me of

a

> support group. I reluctantly looked and found this group. I

thank

> God I did.

>

> I am geting better by the month. I just keep reading the

wonderful

> post here. I have been accused of letting my illnes run my life

and

> it hurt so bad. I felt so ashamed of being in this condition. My

> oldest daughter would tell me to get up and move. I finally

ignored

> her haaaaaaaaaaa.

>

> We only know our own pain. No one knows someone else's pain. I

> agree about not giving up. I did give up for I didnt know what

else

> to do. I layed in the bed for over a year. Yes its ruff getting

up

> now. I am fighting now.

>

> THis group gave me the will to fight. I said to myself if that

> cocktail can help him/her it can help me. Our mind can make us

feel

> bad or feel good but we got to believe it completely. And that

is

> the hardest part. I believed I could feel better and I do. I had

> to find my new path. THis group paved my path and I been limping

on

> it and now I am walking on it.

>

> I don't know your pain. I only know my pain. It sounds like your

> suffering so bad, and I am so sorry hon. YOu have children to

care

> for. I applaud your will. Some of us don't have that will. There

> is a way to get the will, we just need to find out how. I have a

> wheel chair and my daughter or husband has to clean my bottom

now

> after I use the bathroom. I dont tell people cause I am so

ashamed

> of this. I guess I had to finally say it.

>

> Look at the trillions of people over the ages that fought. Than

> the day to stop comes. When I am 109 I will let go haaaaaaa. My

> great grandpa lived to be 109. I saw him when he was 107 and he

> looked very happy. He moved very slowly haaaaaaaaa. but he was

> happy. He finally paseed at 109 and I hope to do that too.

>

> I hope you get help for your pain. It sounds so aweful. Good

luck

> and take care. Many people has said their pain is worse than

mine.

> I would just agree. What does it matter whose pain is worse,

pain

> is pain. Pain is a necessity of life. I remember when I was

young

> and had no pain. Seems like yesterday.

>

> My sister had a sore pinky one time. She would tell me get

moving

> you are fine. When she got her sore pinky she was disabled

> completely haaaaaaaaaa. I am so sorry to laugh but she tickled

me

> so much. She passed away in a car accident 3 years ago, I miss

her

> so much.

>

> Gentle kind hugs

> Clora

>

> > Doreen,

> > I feel you there. i have been on enbrel now for about 2 years

and

> I still have pain. Some how I manage to get up day after day

with

> all the pain and keep going to work no matter how much I can't

walk

> across the floor. It makes me wonder if it is time to throw in

the

> towel and apply for SSDI which is really hard to get in the

state

> I'm in. You have to apply 3 times in order to get it. I take

> pictures of every joint when it is swelled for documentation in

> hopes that it will help when I do apply and my foot on my right

is

> even starting to twist in. My pinkies on both hands have started

to

> twist as well if I hold my hands straight out they will stay for

a

> moment or two but then it drops into my palm and I dont have the

> strength to try to pull it back up.

> >

> > Pain is what you make of it. You cant let RA take a hold of

you.

> You just have to keep fighting to keep what you can in your life

> this is why I keep working and keep fighting. If you let RA take

> you instead of you taking it then well you will end up like a

good

> friend of mine bound to a wheelchair and not able to move at

all, in

> fact she has to have someone help her wipe when she uses the

> bathroom and I don't want that for myself or for anyone else.

> Remember to keep moving and don't let yourself get stiff. The

> stiffening of the joints hurt worse then the exercise involved

to

> keep them moving.

> >

> > Living with RA Since 2006

> > Mom of 2 wonderful children 3 and 5

> >

>

> -------------------------------------------------------------------

-----------

> No viruses found in this incoming message

> Scanned by iolo AntiVirus 1.5.3.5

> http://www.iolo.com

>

> _______________________________________

> No viruses found in this outgoing message

> Scanned by iolo AntiVirus 1.5.3.5

> http://www.iolo.com

>

September 21, 2008

Clora,

So very sorry for the loss of your sister. I escaped from two

abusive hubbys. I am still afraid of them coming back, to finish the

job. But, I try to move on with the life I have now. Big hugs, Tawny

>

> and group;

>

> Your very welcome , I tend to write long post lol In life

> I talk a lot. YOu may even say I got the gift to gab, but I don't

> think i got the gift since I seem to get my self in trouble from

> talking so much lol.

>

> I had a very hard life with pain. It may have made me more

> understanding for others in pain. I think all of us here feel for

> each others pain. ONe person said one time that All RA doctors

> should know what our pain feels like. I guess if they did they

> would load us down with narcotics haaaaaaaaaa.

>

> My sister and I had grew apart because her husband was a jerk. I

> still miss her so much. Her husband hit her car in the rear with

> his truck chasing her making her koreen into a gully rolling a few

> times. He put his bumper up and threw it in his truck and went

on.

> Yep, he got a way with it. My mother told the police it was her

> son n laws fault all they did was do a autopsy on her.

>

> An abusive spouse will kill you. Get away no matter what. I got

> away from an abusive spouse because of a very smart ER doctor.

> About the third time I was in the ER for wounds inflicted by my ex

> husband. The doctor came back in (later after he put the stitches

> in my head) and said. " Great news Clora, you wont come back to

the

> er anymore. " I said cool why not. (thinking my x would feel

guilty

> since I got stitches in my head that time). THe doctor said, " You

> will go to the morgue the next time.

>

> OMG, I realized he was right. THey just started abused womens

> shelters back than. My mom told me about it. I went there and

they

> helped me get away from my abuser. I left everything took my

> children and the center even got me a volunteer lawyer for my

> divorce. It was so hard to leave him. He always said he learned

his

> lesson and wouldnt hit me ever again. But he always ended up

beating

> me. Alcohol is an excuse not the reason for abusiveness.

>

> An abuser don't really love you they enjoy owning you. I have a

> good life now. My husband is caring and never ever would hit me.

> It was worth giving up all my earthly goods to be alive. I left

> everything, me and my kids clothes, my precious pictures, my

> beautiful furniture, our lovely apartment that had a swimming pool

> in the building. A husband that I loved dearly to be alive today.

>

> My sister stayed with her abuser and died tragictly for it. We

> couldnt even go visit her he would mistreat us. WE dicided to stay

> away from her be cause she wouldnt leave him. I don't know if

there

> was anything we could do short of killing him and going to prison

> the rest of our lives.

>

> I had to tell my story. I remember a woman that was abused that

> came to our group. The abuser gets drunk cause he could get away

> with the abuse. The abuser is at fault, not the abused person. I

> believed my x when he said it was my own fault he beat me. I hope

it

> is ok to tell my story. I realized all this when I finally got

away

> from my x.

>

> Your welcome . I found the right combo because of our kind

> group. I hope you find your combo. You shouldnt be in so much

pain

> for so long. It's just not right in our society and with the

> technology today.

>

> gentle kind hugs

> Clora

>

September 21, 2008

Oh Clora, you sound like an amazing

woman. I have been reading your posts and they bring tears to my eyes.

I hope you are feeling a little better today.I know how you feel.....I lost a

very dear cousin at the hands of her husband. She was 32 and left behind 2 young

children. The husband served only 5 years and when he got out, he got custody of

his girls from my aunt! We well all shocked! I planned to do volunteer work with

the Women's Shelter when I retired, but this desease has almost crippled me. Now

that I finally am getting some relief, I will donate something other than money.

Stay strong and feel better!

Sandy

[ ] Re: ABUSED sister was killed by her husband.