Guest guest Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 Hi I have not posted in a very long time. Real time has gotten the best of me in many ways. My husband of almost 6 years of marriage has filed for divorce due in part of my illness's and how they have affected and changed me. Due to my illnesses my team of Doctors have agreed that I can not care for my children 100% of the time. So we will be sharing joint custody with him as the primary care giver. talk about a kick in the heart. To be taken away from yoru children for something you can not control. At my latest stay in the hospital for a weeks time in June 08. I was givne a new illness. Fibro Mayalgia. On top of the two kidns of lupus,the celiac disease, the hoshimoto thyroid disease witch has given me thyroid cancer now. I hate this is happenign to me and i dont know how to explain this to my kids. My kids are starting to mimic me and say thier body hurts thier tummy hurts .that they cant eat because mommy is not eating. I hate my illnesses have affected thme at such an early time.They ar eonly 3 and 5. I face the thyroid surgery july 17. I was not scared till this week. I am honestly not sure why i am scared. Perhaps because I know I am not loved the way I am. the only work experience I have is retail and I have been trying to do that.But standing on my feet over two hours is causing me to swell in my feet and legs. Its causing me great pain hours after my shift is done. Yet I know I can not depend on disabilty coming in for me. After all so many others have much more serious problems right. I just feel so frustrated and depressed. sorry to rant off. I just hav eno one else to just go off and know someone may understand. Thank you Mina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2008 Report Share Posted July 11, 2008 Mina, Don't apologize. Honey you have a right to rant. I am so sorry that all of this is happening to you. On the positive side, my neighbor had the same thyroid surgery that you are having (about 7 yrs ago) and she has not had any problems. Your problems make mine seem like I am a whiney baby. Your children are so young now but they will understand with time. They do love you. Hold on to that love. Some adults are so selfish. They withdraw their love if it is not rewarding enough to them. Which makes me believe that they have no idea what love is. It just isn't fair that all of this has been thrust upon you, but please, don't give up. Your children need you so much at their tender ages. If you need to rant or support, that is exactly what this group is all about. I don't mind listening at all, you are entitled. I will keep you in my prayers. Shirley > > Hi I have not posted in a very long time. Real time has gotten the > best of me in many ways. > > My husband of almost 6 years of marriage has filed for divorce due in > part of my illness's and how they have affected and changed me. > > Due to my illnesses my team of Doctors have agreed that I can not > care for my children 100% of the time. So we will be sharing joint > custody with him as the primary care giver. talk about a kick in the > heart. To be taken away from yoru children for something you can not > control. > > At my latest stay in the hospital for a weeks time in June 08. I was > givne a new illness. Fibro Mayalgia. On top of the two kidns of > lupus,the celiac disease, the hoshimoto thyroid disease witch has > given me thyroid cancer now. > > I hate this is happenign to me and i dont know how to explain this to > my kids. My kids are starting to mimic me and say thier body hurts > thier tummy hurts .that they cant eat because mommy is not eating. I > hate my illnesses have affected thme at such an early time.They ar > eonly 3 and 5. > > I face the thyroid surgery july 17. I was not scared till this week. > I am honestly not sure why i am scared. Perhaps because I know I am > not loved the way I am. > > the only work experience I have is retail and I have been trying to > do that.But standing on my feet over two hours is causing me to swell > in my feet and legs. Its causing me great pain hours after my shift > is done. Yet I know I can not depend on disabilty coming in for me. > After all so many others have much more serious problems right. > > I just feel so frustrated and depressed. > > sorry to rant off. I just hav eno one else to just go off and know > someone may understand. > > Thank you > Mina > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2008 Report Share Posted July 11, 2008 Mina, I am so very sorry for all your grief. I surely pray for times to get better for you. a [ ] Filing for disability Hi I have not posted in a very long time. Real time has gotten the best of me in many ways. My husband of almost 6 years of marriage has filed for divorce due in part of my illness's and how they have affected and changed me. Due to my illnesses my team of Doctors have agreed that I can not care for my children 100% of the time. So we will be sharing joint custody with him as the primary care giver. talk about a kick in the heart. To be taken away from yoru children for something you can not control. At my latest stay in the hospital for a weeks time in June 08. I was givne a new illness. Fibro Mayalgia. On top of the two kidns of lupus,the celiac disease, the hoshimoto thyroid disease witch has given me thyroid cancer now. I hate this is happenign to me and i dont know how to explain this to my kids. My kids are starting to mimic me and say thier body hurts thier tummy hurts .that they cant eat because mommy is not eating. I hate my illnesses have affected thme at such an early time.They ar eonly 3 and 5. I face the thyroid surgery july 17. I was not scared till this week. I am honestly not sure why i am scared. Perhaps because I know I am not loved the way I am. the only work experience I have is retail and I have been trying to do that.But standing on my feet over two hours is causing me to swell in my feet and legs. Its causing me great pain hours after my shift is done. Yet I know I can not depend on disabilty coming in for me. After all so many others have much more serious problems right. I just feel so frustrated and depressed. sorry to rant off. I just hav eno one else to just go off and know someone may understand. Thank you Mina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2008 Report Share Posted July 11, 2008 I am so sorry you have to go through this misery. It really makes me angry that our marriage vows are taken so lightly, as if they have no meaning. Some people can be so selfish. You are loved! by your children, parents, friends and many others - particularly those who have been in the same boat your in. May God bless you & heal you (at least some if your faith is not STRONG). > > Hi I have not posted in a very long time. Real time has gotten the > best of me in many ways. > > My husband of almost 6 years of marriage has filed for divorce due in > part of my illness's and how they have affected and changed me. > > Due to my illnesses my team of Doctors have agreed that I can not > care for my children 100% of the time. So we will be sharing joint > custody with him as the primary care giver. talk about a kick in the > heart. To be taken away from yoru children for something you can not > control. > > At my latest stay in the hospital for a weeks time in June 08. I was > givne a new illness. Fibro Mayalgia. On top of the two kidns of > lupus,the celiac disease, the hoshimoto thyroid disease witch has > given me thyroid cancer now. > > I hate this is happenign to me and i dont know how to explain this to > my kids. My kids are starting to mimic me and say thier body hurts > thier tummy hurts .that they cant eat because mommy is not eating. I > hate my illnesses have affected thme at such an early time.They ar > eonly 3 and 5. > > I face the thyroid surgery july 17. I was not scared till this week. > I am honestly not sure why i am scared. Perhaps because I know I am > not loved the way I am. > > the only work experience I have is retail and I have been trying to > do that.But standing on my feet over two hours is causing me to swell > in my feet and legs. Its causing me great pain hours after my shift > is done. Yet I know I can not depend on disabilty coming in for me. > After all so many others have much more serious problems right. > > I just feel so frustrated and depressed. > > sorry to rant off. I just hav eno one else to just go off and know > someone may understand. > > Thank you > Mina > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2008 Report Share Posted July 11, 2008 Mina, I am sorry for your situation and I understand. I am alone and sick. My husband and I have been separated for some time (married almost 35 years) and my life has been an emotional rollercoaster between that and my ill health. He has also been ill and had a kidney transplant 3 months ago. I have filed for disability and expect it to be a very long wait - I have no financial support at all so will have to try to work and expect it will be impossible or very, very difficult at the least. My only saving grace is that he continues to cover me with very good health insurance. I wish I could say something that would make things better for you (and me!), but I know I can't right now. Just know that we understand and you are not alone. I hope that you will find some joy in your children and that as they get older, they will understand and appreciate your situation and treat you with respect and care. Dorothy _____ From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Wilamina Sent: Thursday, July 10, 2008 9:22 PM Subject: [ ] Filing for disability Hi I have not posted in a very long time. Real time has gotten the best of me in many ways. My husband of almost 6 years of marriage has filed for divorce due in part of my illness's and how they have affected and changed me. Due to my illnesses my team of Doctors have agreed that I can not care for my children 100% of the time. So we will be sharing joint custody with him as the primary care giver. talk about a kick in the heart. To be taken away from yoru children for something you can not control. At my latest stay in the hospital for a weeks time in June 08. I was givne a new illness. Fibro Mayalgia. On top of the two kidns of lupus,the celiac disease, the hoshimoto thyroid disease witch has given me thyroid cancer now. I hate this is happenign to me and i dont know how to explain this to my kids. My kids are starting to mimic me and say thier body hurts thier tummy hurts .that they cant eat because mommy is not eating. I hate my illnesses have affected thme at such an early time.They ar eonly 3 and 5. I face the thyroid surgery july 17. I was not scared till this week. I am honestly not sure why i am scared. Perhaps because I know I am not loved the way I am. the only work experience I have is retail and I have been trying to do that.But standing on my feet over two hours is causing me to swell in my feet and legs. Its causing me great pain hours after my shift is done. Yet I know I can not depend on disabilty coming in for me. After all so many others have much more serious problems right. I just feel so frustrated and depressed. sorry to rant off. I just hav eno one else to just go off and know someone may understand. Thank you Mina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2008 Report Share Posted July 11, 2008 Mina - you deserve ALIMONY!! Your husband is a toad for having abandonded ship because of your health - apparently your wedding vows meant nothing to him. I'm sorry - I'll get off that soapbox. You need to apply for SSI, SSD, Welfare, Medicaid, Food Stamps - whatever you can apply for. If you have a divorce attorney - seriously look into Alimony and even a court order to keep your medical benefits intact - at HIS expense! My prayers are with you as you face the thyroid surgery. I've known several people who have had the same kind of surgery and have recovered wonderfully. My cousin recently had a cancerous thyroid removed and is doing excellent. Don't discount your illnesses as insignificant or compare yourself to others. You've paid into this system, you are not well, you deserve the benefits. Even if the SS Admin is slower than molasses running uphill. Many Hugs............Doreen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2008 Report Share Posted July 11, 2008 This is easier said than done. I've been separated for several years. I don't file for divorce since if I do, I will lose my health insurance he provides. Of course, I'll be entitled to continue the insurance for 3 years under the COBRA laws - at my expense. Even if the divorce stipulated that he had to make the payment, 3 years goes by very quickly. I sort of feel that the health insurance is almost a form of alimony. Plus as long as we are married, I am entitled to a payout on his pension if he dies before retiring. Of course, this means that I can't apply for welfare or food stamps since they would take his salary into consideration. So it's like being between a rock and a hard place. Since I have been ill for several years, the insurance has been invaluable - I would have been lost without it. _____ From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Mimi Sent: Friday, July 11, 2008 10:56 AM Subject: [ ] Re: Filing for disability Mina - you deserve ALIMONY!! Your husband is a toad for having abandonded ship because of your health - apparently your wedding vows meant nothing to him. I'm sorry - I'll get off that soapbox. You need to apply for SSI, SSD, Welfare, Medicaid, Food Stamps - whatever you can apply for. If you have a divorce attorney - seriously look into Alimony and even a court order to keep your medical benefits intact - at HIS expense! My prayers are with you as you face the thyroid surgery. I've known several people who have had the same kind of surgery and have recovered wonderfully. My cousin recently had a cancerous thyroid removed and is doing excellent. Don't discount your illnesses as insignificant or compare yourself to others. You've paid into this system, you are not well, you deserve the benefits. Even if the SS Admin is slower than molasses running uphill. Many Hugs............Doreen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2008 Report Share Posted July 11, 2008 Mina, I hear you. My husband wants to file for legal seperation (we have been living in seperate states since October, but were waiting for me to get on SSDI and be back together). He states that he no longer has the " patience " to deal with me emotionally anymore " . It's a huge blow. I have been in tears since. I moved into our new apartment last week and I have hardly done anything because it can't handle it right now. We don't have any kids together because of PCOS...but it's hard. I am in the same situation you are now and I wish I could tell you words of encouragement, but I don't have any myself. File for SSDI...you won't know unless you try. I was fortunate enough to get approved on the 1st try. I would get a lawyer from the beginning...I did and I think it helped me. I would ask for alimony too. The hardest part is coping w/ the chronic pain and fatigue from RA/fibro. I am therapy to help me deal with it all and it does help. Don't be afraid to ask for help with dealing with everything at once. > > Hi I have not posted in a very long time. Real time has gotten the > best of me in many ways. > > My husband of almost 6 years of marriage has filed for divorce due in > part of my illness's and how they have affected and changed me. > > Due to my illnesses my team of Doctors have agreed that I can not > care for my children 100% of the time. So we will be sharing joint > custody with him as the primary care giver. talk about a kick in the > heart. To be taken away from yoru children for something you can not > control. > > At my latest stay in the hospital for a weeks time in June 08. I was > givne a new illness. Fibro Mayalgia. On top of the two kidns of > lupus,the celiac disease, the hoshimoto thyroid disease witch has > given me thyroid cancer now. > > I hate this is happenign to me and i dont know how to explain this to > my kids. My kids are starting to mimic me and say thier body hurts > thier tummy hurts .that they cant eat because mommy is not eating. I > hate my illnesses have affected thme at such an early time.They ar > eonly 3 and 5. > > I face the thyroid surgery july 17. I was not scared till this week. > I am honestly not sure why i am scared. Perhaps because I know I am > not loved the way I am. > > the only work experience I have is retail and I have been trying to > do that.But standing on my feet over two hours is causing me to swell > in my feet and legs. Its causing me great pain hours after my shift > is done. Yet I know I can not depend on disabilty coming in for me. > After all so many others have much more serious problems right. > > I just feel so frustrated and depressed. > > sorry to rant off. I just hav eno one else to just go off and know > someone may understand. > > Thank you > Mina > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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