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the pain has reared its ugly head. I'm in a flare. It is so bad that I came

home from work and laid on the couch and cried. I called my rheumy today and

they can't see me til the 26th. So I called my primary and he is going to see

me on monday. I hope he can provide me some relief. Pain meds something. I

still have to work tomorrow and saturday and I will be able to rest most of the

day on sunday before I have to go get my 2 adorable kids. I miss them soo much

but hope I can function enough to take care of them. My life for the last week

as been revolved around pain and I'm sick of being in pain. I can't even wear

my own shoes. I have been wearing my xboyfriends shoes who is living with me

who I would love to be together in a relationship with again. I got stupid in

the middle of july and told him that I needed a break from him. I still love

him and don't want to see him go that is why I asked him to stay living here.

Anyway, the pain has been unbareable on a scale from 1 to 10 this week its been

around an 8 to a 10. The swelling is unbareabe. I wish I could be like I was

before the RA hit me. I'm scared of going back to the way I was when it first

hit me in may 06. I don't want to be able to not move again.

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