Re:Its the not knowing that is getting to me (answer to comments at RA site)

July 19, 2008

It makes me sad just to think about this and to write about it, and my

health isn't bad compared to some here. And I think it would be hard to

have two disorders or to be unsure what you have. I've wondered if I have

psoriatic arthritis as opposed to plain rheumatoid arthritis but my RA doc says

it doesn't matter as they are treated the same.

I get out of breath with RA. I kept wondering if I had peripheral vascular

disease. Over time I saw that the symptoms came and went which didn't seem

consistent with PVD but seemed more consistent with the variable nature of my

RA. In addition I'm 40 lbs overweight. So one way I've dealt with this is to

come to learn what a new normal is for me. I did lose 5 lbs, too.

Its been hard to give up the healthy future I'd predicted for myself. I was so

healthy until I went into peri-menopause that I thought I'd live to be 120 and

be healthy and active. Now I don't want to live that long and I don't know how

long I'll be healthy.

The things that have helped me are acceptance, making changes that work for my

current situation, and believing that there is a greater future for me beyond

time. Also, I get support from reading about others struggles here and receiving

encouragement.

Prayer is important for me, too. I ask God to give me strength for the day and

patience

which is in short supply when I'm tired.

I'm trying hard to stay in the moment, to enjoy what's happening now or trying

to make the moment a little better for myself with comfort measures.

I also think its important to have a doctor in whom you have confidence.

I hope things get better for you soon and that your treatment plan becomes more

established.

Blessings, Elaine

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