Brad / I fear resigning into DMARDs

[Guest guest]

Hi Brad,

I'm at the point now of giving in to taking methotrexate after

several years of staving off RA with natural remedies, diet,

alternative drug therapy like antibiotics, and daily NSAIDS for a

good portion of that time (Celebrex). I'm not sure why some ppl so

easily accept taking drugs, but i'm not one of them. All my

reasoning says that we need to rebalance our bodies somehow, not

throw toxic chemicals at them. After all, you hear stories of ppl who

cured themselves of auto-immune dis, and think, hey i can do it too!

But i think those ppl are rare cases. What i didn't really understand

is that even while quelling the pain naturally and with NSAIDS, in

all likelihood the disease is silently destroying your body like it's

been doing with mine. Now i'm in pain all the time, and my knees

need replacing as well as other joints raidly going south. Also the

Celebrex gave me an ulcer which i can't get rid of. I'm so

disappointed with myself that I couldn't do it naturally. I feel like

a failure. The reason I'm giving in now is that my choices are few.

I've been pushed into a corner - it's life or death for me. I've got

to find a way to gratefully and happily accept methotrexate as

something that will heal me, and start trusting doctors. By talking

to ppl who've gone down the drugs path, i can see that they wanted to

be able to function and have a life - they have families and

responsiblities. A lot of times the disease hit them hard initially

and they simply had to take action. In my case, RA came on slowly

and i didn't have any responsiblities or a job, so i could afford to

muck around and experiment. Getting rid of my pain over the years

with natural supplements and pain killers, and also celebrex deluded

me a lot - just because you can't feel it don't mean it's not there.

Only a few weeks ago i had all my hopes in the supplement Miracle

Mineral Solution (MMS - Chlorine Dioxide) which i got excited about

because i could feel it helping...except that it burned my stomach

chronically because i already had NSAIDs damage. Well i'd better stop

raving on...I hope you find the right thing for you to do. All the

best,

Leonie

--- In , Brad Berg <blueworld_of_fire@...>

wrote:

>

> Okay.

> Since I was diagnosed in Nov. of '07, I've dealt with my pain

fairly easily.  Herbal/vitamin supplements and ibuprofen have

kept me moving and rather relaxed about this.  I'd have bad days with

the pain moving around my body like someone who couldn't make up

their mind as to where to go, but I dealt with it.  In the last few

months, the pain has settled pretty much everywhere except my spine,

but still it has been managable.  Instead of taking ibuprofen only

when needed, I began to take it on a regular daily regimen, just to

avoid the flares.  I noticed not terribly long ago that my index

knuckle on my right hand is now permanently swollen, or seems to be

and is a daily problem.  I wake every night now around 3:30am or so

because the ibuprofen I took before bed has started to wear off.

> I fired off that little questionnaire to you all in hopes of

finding a pattern, some method to the madness that would prove to me

that taking DMARDs actually exacerbated the problems I've heard you

all talk of.  But I didn't find one, other than the vast majority of

you began taking DMARDs almost as soon as the doctor diagnosed you. 

I am still limber, provided that I take my ibuprofen, but yesterday I

forgot to take the lunchtime dose, and the evening dose didn't go in

because I forgot to pick more up from the store.  I became rather

frightened by the level of pain when I woke up this very early

morning.  I tried to get out of bed, but my neck, shoulder, hands and

feet were like fire. I stood up and my hips and legs all popped and

cracked as I hobbled to the shower.  I was almost late for work

because I walk to work across a wide meadow and, being behind

schedule, I sprinted with each foot blasting with pain with

the unevenness of the ground. 

> I was almost in tears by the time I got to work.  First order of

business then was to locate some ibuprofen.  No one who was there had

any.  I became quite scared and went to our maintenance guy's desk

(he has arthritis too, so I figured he had some) and thank goodness,

I found some.  I popped three tablets and took it slow until I felt

better about an hour later.  I am, for the most part, fine again,

though my neck and shoulder and feet are in pain, and wonder now if

DMARDs are an inevitability.  I've been slowly thinking more about

them, asking people around town whom I know have RA about them, but I

fear taking them because I have a condition that is aggravated by a

suppressed immune system and don't need more problems.  I just no

longer really know how to proceed.  The natural route has been kind,

and I give a good deal of credit to it staving off alot of the

hardship so far (as well as to the ibuprofen), but I just don't know

if it is

> strong enough now to take this on.  I've been a rather proud

proponent for the natural path and it kills to think I may have to

set it aside medication-wise.  I do have a couple more things to try,

but I am sorely afraid of those drugs you folks take so seemingly

nonchalantly.  I know the decisions for all of you have probably been

as difficult as it is for me, but where is the courage found to take

that step?  Was it through fear of the pain, or did you just simply

decide to take the bull by the horns?

>

> Unsettled in a false peace,

>

> Brad  

>