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Sad, but not sad...

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I told the boys they could go play for a while before bed, and they went off to

do there own thing. Their father did not set any kind of rules, no example, and

they've never had a bedtime. For right now, we're letting them go to bed when

we do, as long as they do it without whining, questioning, snivveling or

begging. So far, so good.

Well, the boys went off to play and I noticed that it was really, really quiet,

so I told Rod to find out what they were up to. He found them in their room

crying. When he asked them what was wrong, they told him that they were very

upset because of me. He probed a bit further and found out that the reason they

were upset was because of my burns, injuries and AI diseases and the pain I am

in. It is obvious to them. They see me at my worst, every day, and it makes

them angry. They were telling him how it wasn't fair, and why did I have to

have all this pain. Why couldn't it be their father who deserved it? Well, to

say I was/am moved in an understatement.

I don't know what to tell them about why I have this pain. Because it's my

burden to bare and I must bare it like a man? Nah, they might not understand.

Because the creator wishes it be so? Nah, they might not want a religious life

with the creator... I don't know... I just don't know.

What I do know is that if I had any doubts that our home is where they belonged,

I no longer have them.

--

Dodge

" I make the living, my dog makes the living worthwhile. "

Read my blog at:

http://jumpthis.wordpress.com

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