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Hi

This is my first posting, I'm so glad that I bought the Stop Walking

on Eggshells book recently and found out about this group.

It's been about 8 years now that I've know that my mother has BPD,

but for a long time I did not relate it to the way I turned out.

After all, I believed that I am bad, not good enough and that

everything is my fault or responibility. This has affected every

aspect of my life.I have had so much misplaced guilt over many

years.

From time to time I have a stint of therapy with a counsellor who

has a good understanding of BPD, and is helping me to come to terms

with what has happened in the past, and to build a better future.

However, it's not linear, and there are times where I hit rockbottom

all over again, with new memories, old frustrations and continuing

situations where I feel so out of place. Relieved to read here that

I'm not the only one who thinks she must be crazy too.

On the bright side, I have two wonderful adult children. I made sure

they had a different upbringing to mine, and that I love them no

matter what. They don't fully understand what goes on with their

grandmother. They think she is weird, demanding and self absorbed,

which is all true.I think they are gradually realising that there is

more to it. It's so hard to explain, even to them, what BPD is

about. I'll lend them the book when I have finished it.

Good wishes

Jonna

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