Guest guest Posted September 10, 2001 Report Share Posted September 10, 2001 Hi Ladies, I am so upset and already bugged my mom and best friend and still need some moral support. All my pain WAS in my labia majora-only. I have been having to urinate very frequently so I saw a uro-gyn. on Sat. I was already diagnosed wiht an inflammed urethra, but NEVER had any pain or discomfort with it. He did some sort of procedure on Sat, I think a urethra dialation. It hurt Sat and SUn, but today it started to burn on the outside part. I know that some ladies say they have burning there due to vuvlo. I am terrified that now my burning is never going to stop in that spot. He is going to give me CIpro in case it is a bladder infection. I am just LOSING my mind. I have had to live with the pain in my labia, but this is even worse. Do you think it is just temporary? I felt fortunate that my pain was isolated and did not affect my urination, urethra, or clitoris. Now I don't know what to think. Sorry to vent, I am just a mess today. Just when I thought it could NOT get worse...it DID!!! Take care, Alison CA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 11, 2001 Report Share Posted September 11, 2001 Hi, Alison! So sorry to hear you're having new problems! I can't speak to your experience exactly, but others I have known who have had bladder/urinary procedures done tell me that the urethra and bladder can be quite irritated for days afterward, even to the point that they have difficulty controlling their bladders for a short time. So I wouldn't panic just yet, until your urethra/bladder get a chance to calm down. As for the Cipro, I remember some women saying that it caused them problems with vulvodynia pain, but I'm sure others here can speak to that better than I can. Good luck - I'll keep you in my thoughts. Suzy --- alisci@... wrote: > Hi Ladies, > I am so upset and already bugged my mom and best > friend and still need some moral support. > > All my pain WAS in my labia majora-only. I have > been having to urinate very frequently so I saw a > uro-gyn. on Sat. I was already diagnosed wiht an > inflammed urethra, but NEVER had any pain or > discomfort with it. He did some sort of procedure > on Sat, I think a urethra dialation. > > It hurt Sat and SUn, but today it started to burn on > the outside part. I know that some ladies say they > have burning there due to vuvlo. I am terrified > that now my burning is never going to stop in that > spot. > > He is going to give me CIpro in case it is a bladder > infection. I am just LOSING my mind. I have had to > live with the pain in my labia, but this is even > worse. > Do you think it is just temporary? I felt fortunate > that my pain was isolated and did not affect my > urination, urethra, or clitoris. Now I don't know > what to think. > > Sorry to vent, I am just a mess today. Just when I > thought it could NOT get worse...it DID!!! > Take care, > Alison > CA > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 11, 2001 Report Share Posted September 11, 2001 Alison, I had the same thing happen to me. At first my pain was only around the vestibule, peeing didn't hurt and my bum didn't hurt. Then I slowly started getting pain and discomfort around the urethra (my doctor wanted to do a dialation too), which I now know is inflammation of the urethral glands. Then my bum started itching and burning. It was all caused by the food allergies, and once I started treating that all of the symptoms went away. In fact, if I cheat and eat some no no foods, nowadays the only place that bothers me is the urethral glands and bladder. in SF > Hi Ladies, > I am so upset and already bugged my mom and best friend and still need some moral support. > > All my pain WAS in my labia majora-only. I have been having to urinate very frequently so I saw a uro-gyn. on Sat. I was already diagnosed wiht an inflammed urethra, but NEVER had any pain or discomfort with it. He did some sort of procedure on Sat, I think a urethra dialation. > > It hurt Sat and SUn, but today it started to burn on the outside part. I know that some ladies say they have burning there due to vuvlo. I am terrified that now my burning is never going to stop in that spot. > > He is going to give me CIpro in case it is a bladder infection. I am just LOSING my mind. I have had to live with the pain in my labia, but this is even worse. > Do you think it is just temporary? I felt fortunate that my pain was isolated and did not affect my urination, urethra, or clitoris. Now I don't know what to think. > > Sorry to vent, I am just a mess today. Just when I thought it could NOT get worse...it DID!!! > Take care, > Alison > CA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 11, 2001 Report Share Posted September 11, 2001 Do you have pain in the area of the pubic hair. It could be an infected hair follicle. Ora >Hi Ladies, > I am so upset and already bugged my mom and best friend and still need some moral support. > >All my pain WAS in my labia majora-only. I have been having to urinate very frequently so I saw a uro-gyn. on Sat. I was already diagnosed wiht an inflammed urethra, but NEVER had any pain or discomfort with it. He did some sort of procedure on Sat, I think a urethra dialation. > >It hurt Sat and SUn, but today it started to burn on the outside part. I know that some ladies say they have burning there due to vuvlo. I am terrified that now my burning is never going to stop in that spot. > >He is going to give me CIpro in case it is a bladder infection. I am just LOSING my mind. I have had to live with the pain in my labia, but this is even worse. >Do you think it is just temporary? I felt fortunate that my pain was isolated and did not affect my urination, urethra, or clitoris. Now I don't know what to think. > >Sorry to vent, I am just a mess today. Just when I thought it could NOT get worse...it DID!!! >Take care, >Alison > CA > > >*****END OF MESSAGE***** >------------------------------------------------- >To post message: VulvarDisorders > To Subscribe: VulvarDisorders-subscribe > Unsubscribe: VulvarDisorders-unsubscribe > List owner: VulvarDisorders-owner > >***** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 11, 2001 Report Share Posted September 11, 2001 which food did you stop eating? > >Reply-To: VulvarDisorders >To: VulvarDisorders >Subject: Re: terrified >Date: Tue, 11 Sep 2001 01:15:54 -0000 > >Alison, >I had the same thing happen to me. >At first my pain was only around the vestibule, peeing didn't hurt >and my bum didn't hurt. Then I slowly started getting pain and >discomfort around the urethra (my doctor wanted to do a dialation >too), which I now know is inflammation of the urethral glands. Then >my bum started itching and burning. It was all caused by the food >allergies, and once I started treating that all of the symptoms went >away. In fact, if I cheat and eat some no no foods, nowadays the only >place that bothers me is the urethral glands and bladder. > in SF > > > > Hi Ladies, > > I am so upset and already bugged my mom and best friend and still >need some moral support. > > > > All my pain WAS in my labia majora-only. I have been having to >urinate very frequently so I saw a uro-gyn. on Sat. I was already >diagnosed wiht an inflammed urethra, but NEVER had any pain or >discomfort with it. He did some sort of procedure on Sat, I think a >urethra dialation. > > > > It hurt Sat and SUn, but today it started to burn on the outside >part. I know that some ladies say they have burning there due to >vuvlo. I am terrified that now my burning is never going to stop in >that spot. > > > > He is going to give me CIpro in case it is a bladder infection. I >am just LOSING my mind. I have had to live with the pain in my >labia, but this is even worse. > > Do you think it is just temporary? I felt fortunate that my pain >was isolated and did not affect my urination, urethra, or clitoris. >Now I don't know what to think. > > > > Sorry to vent, I am just a mess today. Just when I thought it >could NOT get worse...it DID!!! > > Take care, > > Alison > > CA > > > >*****END OF MESSAGE***** >------------------------------------------------- >To post message: VulvarDisorders > To Subscribe: VulvarDisorders-subscribe > Unsubscribe: VulvarDisorders-unsubscribe > List owner: VulvarDisorders-owner > >***** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 11, 2001 Report Share Posted September 11, 2001 --- Hi, Thanks for the replies! Unfortunately, I am still in horrbile pain and burning. Suzy..I hope you are right, that the discomfort is just temporary. It is just scary to add additional pain to pain!!! I am just mad that I let him do that procedure. I have heard that it is totally useless and unneccesary. I am just sooo mad at him and at myself!!! Thanks for the support! Alison CA In VulvarDisorders@y..., suzy fromage <suzych263f@y...> wrote: > Hi, Alison! So sorry to hear you're having new > problems! I can't speak to your experience exactly, > but others I have known who have had bladder/urinary > procedures done tell me that the urethra and bladder > can be quite irritated for days afterward, even to the > point that they have difficulty controlling their > bladders for a short time. So I wouldn't panic just > yet, until your urethra/bladder get a chance to calm > down. As for the Cipro, I remember some women saying > that it caused them problems with vulvodynia pain, but > I'm sure others here can speak to that better than I > can. > > Good luck - I'll keep you in my thoughts. > > Suzy > > --- alisci@a... wrote: > > Hi Ladies, > > I am so upset and already bugged my mom and best > > friend and still need some moral support. > > > > All my pain WAS in my labia majora-only. I have > > been having to urinate very frequently so I saw a > > uro-gyn. on Sat. I was already diagnosed wiht an > > inflammed urethra, but NEVER had any pain or > > discomfort with it. He did some sort of procedure > > on Sat, I think a urethra dialation. > > > > It hurt Sat and SUn, but today it started to burn on > > the outside part. I know that some ladies say they > > have burning there due to vuvlo. I am terrified > > that now my burning is never going to stop in that > > spot. > > > > He is going to give me CIpro in case it is a bladder > > infection. I am just LOSING my mind. I have had to > > live with the pain in my labia, but this is even > > worse. > > Do you think it is just temporary? I felt fortunate > > that my pain was isolated and did not affect my > > urination, urethra, or clitoris. Now I don't know > > what to think. > > > > Sorry to vent, I am just a mess today. Just when I > > thought it could NOT get worse...it DID!!! > > Take care, > > Alison > > CA > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 11, 2001 Report Share Posted September 11, 2001 I am allergic to corn, wheat and yeast. I'll let you imagine how many foods that eliminates from my diet... in SF > > > > which food did you stop eating? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2008 Report Share Posted July 9, 2008 Dig your heels in and get ready for the " treatment " which will run the gamut from cutting off all contact with you to picking up the phone and screaming at you about every mis-step you have made since you were born. Now is the time to prepare what you are going to say to your family when the phone calls start ringing. If your aunts are as co-dependent as you seem to indicate they are, you are going to get it full in the face. 1) Why did you write the letters? You should be very clear as to why you took this action and in particular why you took it right now and not a year ago. Be clear, don't go into alot of detail, just be prepared. 2) What do you hope to accomplish with the letters? Do you want to be heard or do you want your aunts to change their behavior? I can tell you that your aunts will NOT change their behavior. Why is it important for you to be heard? If there is a problem then by this action at the very least you want everyone to be talking about it. Brother are they going to. 3) Where do you go from here? Think about this. Do you want to go NC, do you want to get your nada some help, do you want to understand why your aunts enable your nada? Again, you don't have to go into detail but be clear about what you want. This will stir up a hornets nest and what you must do is be prepared to discuss this with ZERO emotion. Be professional, do not accept any accusations and be prepared to hang up if the conversation gets personal or destructive. 4) Identify how much is enough. Once you have reached this level then get off the phone and let things percolate for a bit. If your goal is for understanding fro them, please put that out of your mind RIGHT NOW. They will not understand, but if you approach them as someone who is trying to raise an issue with your family to discuss the behavior you have been witnessing for your own understanding then you can turn this into a win situation. Good luck Be strong Terrified Okay so I feel like I am waiting on a huge bomb to drop. I recently decided to send a letter to not only my mom but her 3 sister who have been in their words " helping her " . In my letter I pointed out how them helping her is hurting her and how my life is effected. I pretty much laid EVERYTHING on the line and told my mom that I refuse to have any contact until she gets help. I sent all four letters yesterday and I know that my one aunt has received hers through UPS tracking. The rest will be delivered tomorrow. I know that I have done the right thing for my husband and children but for some strange reason I feel like I am 10 years old and I am waiting to run for cover. I know that I am an adult and I don't have to even deal with their reaction if I don't want to but in truth I am TERRIFIED. I wish that my aunts could understand the hell that my mom put my sister and I through and continues to do so. I am so scared to see what the next bomb will be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2008 Report Share Posted July 9, 2008 Thanks for the response. I guess I should have been a little more specific about the letter. The reason I sent the letter is my mom has been increasinly crazy and I have received 2 letters from 2 out of 3 of my aunts blasting my sister and myself for hurting our mom. My letter is simply a " no more " letter. I can no longer endure this pain that not only my mom inflicts on me but now my aunts. I need to move on with my life and be a better wife and mother. I feel like our lives have become an episode from a soap opera. I just can't go on like this. > > Dig your heels in and get ready for the " treatment " which will run the gamut from cutting off all contact with you to picking up the phone and screaming at you about every mis-step you have made since you were born. Now is the time to prepare what you are going to say to your family when the phone calls start ringing. If your aunts are as co-dependent as you seem to indicate they are, you are going to get it full in the face. > 1) Why did you write the letters? You should be very clear as to why you took this action and in particular why you took it right now and not a year ago. Be clear, don't go into alot of detail, just be prepared. > 2) What do you hope to accomplish with the letters? Do you want to be heard or do you want your aunts to change their behavior? I can tell you that your aunts will NOT change their behavior. Why is it important for you to be heard? If there is a problem then by this action at the very least you want everyone to be talking about it. Brother are they going to. > 3) Where do you go from here? Think about this. Do you want to go NC, do you want to get your nada some help, do you want to understand why your aunts enable your nada? Again, you don't have to go into detail but be clear about what you want. > This will stir up a hornets nest and what you must do is be prepared to discuss this with ZERO emotion. Be professional, do not accept any accusations and be prepared to hang up if the conversation gets personal or destructive. > 4) Identify how much is enough. Once you have reached this level then get off the phone and let things percolate for a bit. > If your goal is for understanding fro them, please put that out of your mind RIGHT NOW. They will not understand, but if you approach them as someone who is trying to raise an issue with your family to discuss the behavior you have been witnessing for your own understanding then you can turn this into a win situation. > Good luck > Be strong > > > > > Terrified > > > Okay so I feel like I am waiting on a huge bomb to drop. I recently > decided to send a letter to not only my mom but her 3 sister who have > been in their words " helping her " . In my letter I pointed out how them > helping her is hurting her and how my life is effected. I pretty much > laid EVERYTHING on the line and told my mom that I refuse to have any > contact until she gets help. I sent all four letters yesterday and I > know that my one aunt has received hers through UPS tracking. The rest > will be delivered tomorrow. I know that I have done the right thing for > my husband and children but for some strange reason I feel like I am 10 > years old and I am waiting to run for cover. I know that I am an adult > and I don't have to even deal with their reaction if I don't want to > but in truth I am TERRIFIED. I wish that my aunts could understand the > hell that my mom put my sister and I through and continues to do so. I > am so scared to see what the next bomb will be. > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2008 Report Share Posted July 9, 2008 You are very brave and doing what you needed to do and couldn't when you were 10 years old. You have set some very strong boundaries and communicated directly with everyone, eliminating any " triangulation " moves by your mom.  Just remember that every family member has a different relationship with the BPD. I have noticed this talking to my aunt and sister about my BPD mom. We've all played a certain role (even though this role shifts thanks to the joys of BPD!)  No matter what the response, hold true to your experience while recognizing that your aunts' experiences might have been different. I would guess that your mother doesn't have as much " power " over your aunts as she has/or has had over you?!?  I know that terrified feeling very well, but I hope good things come from all this!     Subject: Terrified To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Thursday, July 10, 2008, 2:23 AM Okay so I feel like I am waiting on a huge bomb to drop. I recently decided to send a letter to not only my mom but her 3 sister who have been in their words " helping her " . In my letter I pointed out how them helping her is hurting her and how my life is effected. I pretty much laid EVERYTHING on the line and told my mom that I refuse to have any contact until she gets help. I sent all four letters yesterday and I know that my one aunt has received hers through UPS tracking. The rest will be delivered tomorrow. I know that I have done the right thing for my husband and children but for some strange reason I feel like I am 10 years old and I am waiting to run for cover. I know that I am an adult and I don't have to even deal with their reaction if I don't want to but in truth I am TERRIFIED. I wish that my aunts could understand the hell that my mom put my sister and I through and continues to do so. I am so scared to see what the next bomb will be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 Hugs! That sounds pretty intimidating. The aunts of course might not understand but we do and hopefully you have supportive people around you. I think it's the Karpman drama triangle all over again, sometimes it seems like these people breed just for the sheer reason of having people to place on the 'perpetrator' end of the triangle. Parents have 'authority' so the kid never quite understands what they did or how they can get off the triangle. you mom is on the 'victim' end and the sisters on the 'rescuer' end of the triangle. Both parties are happy with where they stand so they aren't moving and they are determined to keep you there as well. It's funny, I've always heard this triangle described as something addicts do but now it's obvious it's just what wounded people do in order to run from their own issues. It's that pure 'displacement' that two or three year old children to, blaming their misdeeds on anyone else, and these people have just never grown up past the level of a very small child. I've been through this with an aunt, and it's horrifically painful. In my case, my brother used abuse that happened to me and my sister as a child and my parent's lack of response to it as a reason to go NC. I was blamed for him 'abandoning' my parents. It was obscene, really, the events that unfolded after that and the things that were said to me. It sent me into a crippling depression that I am just now emerging from. It proved to me irrevocably that no one gives a damn what happened to me as a child, except to the point that other people might find out and think poorly of them as parents for allowing it to happen. I.E. it has the potential to hurt their pride, but as to any psychological damage done to me? Zero concern about that. I don't know if these parents compartmentalize that kind of thing because of severe abuse but for all practical purposes any empathy for their child when they need it most just simply is not there. It's a very, very hard thing to accept. I even explained to my aunt in detail in an e-mail what had happened, thinking it was a misunderstanding that she would be blaming me for something I had nothing to do with and for something in which the most painful event of my life was used to justify my brother's NC (which in reality was brought about by his borderline wife and had nothing to do with me) Her response? " Interesting " . THAT'S IT. At that moment, reading that response, I realized that no one in my family gives a damn. Whatever the mechanism for the lack of concern is I don't know, but I know profoundly they are not capable of caring. I suspect they've compartmentalized their own abuse and the part of them that could be empathetic is buried, but if it looks like a duck, waddles like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's a duck...it's the same as not giving a damn either way. You deserve so much better than to be hurt by lack of empathy/love/and understanding by emotionally crippled people. I know it's hard to let go but in my own life I am focusing on moving toward the positive people and away from the negative people, one slow step at a time. (((Hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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