What is a normal time to spend with parents or how many phone calls?

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I have been low contact with Nada for few months now and what a

freaking difference! Any way this week i have been feeling kind of

guilty about not talking to her in awhile. She kinda freaked me out

last phone conversation discussing all the days she might come up and

visit. She lives an hour away and terrified of the highway so She

never comes here so I think she is figureing out the game plan and

upping the anti. I wouldn't commit to any times and didn't feel bad

at all about it. The last few weeks I have been in pain with

herniated disc in my neck so really haven't called anyone. So finally

I call she doesn't answer I say well I'll be home today (first

mistake) She calls back at 9:00 I go to bed at 8 she leaves nasty

message nasty tone " I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO BE HOME ALL NIGHT YEA

RIGHT! " So I call today she doesn't answer I say " I'll call @ 5 " I

want to call just to check in because we are going away for a few

weeks. OK enough back ground when I got off the phone I thought well

shit I don't even know what normal is with this stuff what do healthy

families do with their grown children how often do healthy grown

children call their parents and or visit? Any one have friends or in

laws that model this that can give me some insight? Because truth is

I want to be reasonable with contact just don't want it expected or

investigated or held over my head. My Dad calls most Sundays He lives

800 miles away and we are connected and he is close to my daughter but

the calls are not expected and if we aren't home it's no big deal for

him and if he doesn't call we just figure he is busy or out. How do

ya have this kind of contact with a Nada??

Suebee