Guest guest Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 I try to read the posts here and offer support lately, but I have been spending lots of time right now dealing with my BP husband's stuff. It seems like when nada is quiet...my husband is off and the then nada is off and my husband is quiet. Or maybe I don't have the strength anymore to deal with them together. On the other side of Oz- with the BP spouse, it too is hurtful, painful and exhausting. The Bp whether they are your mother, father, sibling, spouse or friend- share common features- BP's- hurt us, use us, try to control us so we can fill in their needs, and I do believe they are also delusional. They rob us of- self-love, self-respect, validation, and oh my they rob us of hope, they are the masters of that. I truly don't care if this is a disease, disorder and or a medical condition, it effects and hurts the people they live with or what they call giving love. I am not in any need to understand them anymore...unless it helps me heal more. I am so tired and disgusted tonight...our credit may never recover, the bills and the mess just keep on piling up....and nada asked me if I could take her to the casino tomorrow. Even if that is a place I once enjoyed...it has now been tainted.... I hope you guys are all ok...and this side of oz...is also doing well. Malinda Ps...my daughter both us tickets to go to New York for my 50th bday to see Wicked...I am seeing a whole Oz theme going on...and I am wondering who we are in all of this. I think I am Dorothy....I always had the power- just didn't quite ever get that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 Hey, Malinda -- I'm sorry you're getting bombarded from two directions -- that's gotta be rough. And yes, we hear that it's a " disease " , dysfunction or whatever, but the bigger point is that you count, too. Your life matters, too. I suspect you're a strong person to continually withstand the fallout from your husband's behavior. It's good that you're going to New York with your daughter -- I'm sure you could use an escape! (I'm going to see Wicked this summer, too! We can compare notes later!) Happy 50th Birthday! Hang in there.... {Big Hugs} kyla > > I try to read the posts here and offer support lately, but I have > been spending lots of time right now dealing with my BP husband's > stuff. It seems like when nada is quiet...my husband is off and the > then nada is off and my husband is quiet. Or maybe I don't have the > strength anymore to deal with them together. > > On the other side of Oz- with the BP spouse, it too is hurtful, > painful and exhausting. The Bp whether they are your mother, father, > sibling, spouse or friend- share common features- BP's- hurt us, use > us, try to control us so we can fill in their needs, and I do believe > they are also delusional. > > They rob us of- self-love, self-respect, validation, and oh my > they rob us of hope, they are the masters of that. > > I truly don't care if this is a disease, disorder and or a > medical condition, it effects and hurts the people they live with or > what they call giving love. I am not in any need to understand them > anymore...unless it helps me heal more. > > I am so tired and disgusted tonight...our credit may never > recover, the bills and the mess just keep on piling up....and nada > asked me if I could take her to the casino tomorrow. Even if that is > a place I once enjoyed...it has now been tainted.... > > I hope you guys are all ok...and this side of oz...is also > doing well. > > Malinda > > Ps...my daughter both us tickets to go to New York for my 50th bday to > see Wicked...I am seeing a whole Oz theme going on...and I am > wondering who we are in all of this. > > I think I am Dorothy....I always had the power- just didn't quite > ever get that. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 hey malinda. this is so exciting! a few weeks ago, you seemed so completely overwhelmed in your posts. now you sound like you're taking charge. AW YEAH! bink > > I try to read the posts here and offer support lately, but I have > been spending lots of time right now dealing with my BP husband's > stuff. It seems like when nada is quiet...my husband is off and the > then nada is off and my husband is quiet. Or maybe I don't have the > strength anymore to deal with them together. > > On the other side of Oz- with the BP spouse, it too is hurtful, > painful and exhausting. The Bp whether they are your mother, father, > sibling, spouse or friend- share common features- BP's- hurt us, use > us, try to control us so we can fill in their needs, and I do believe > they are also delusional. > > They rob us of- self-love, self-respect, validation, and oh my > they rob us of hope, they are the masters of that. > > I truly don't care if this is a disease, disorder and or a > medical condition, it effects and hurts the people they live with or > what they call giving love. I am not in any need to understand them > anymore...unless it helps me heal more. > > I am so tired and disgusted tonight...our credit may never > recover, the bills and the mess just keep on piling up....and nada > asked me if I could take her to the casino tomorrow. Even if that is > a place I once enjoyed...it has now been tainted.... > > I hope you guys are all ok...and this side of oz...is also > doing well. > > Malinda > > Ps...my daughter both us tickets to go to New York for my 50th bday to > see Wicked...I am seeing a whole Oz theme going on...and I am > wondering who we are in all of this. > > I think I am Dorothy....I always had the power- just didn't quite > ever get that. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 ((((Hugs))) Malinda, I hear your frustration and I know what you mean about not wanting to understand unless it helps the person dealing with it. I really agree that they are delusional, in my case that is the thing that I deal with the most on a daily basis. They have to be, there is no other explanation for the behavior. Every interaction with my dad I have to kind of screech my brakes and try to figure out just what reality he's experiencing before I can respond. It's exhausting. I hope you enjoy Wicked, I've never seen that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 Just wanted to say Happy 50th and enjoy your well deserved trip! Take Care Of You, JaneSoul The Other Side of Oz.... I try to read the posts here and offer support lately, but I have been spending lots of time right now dealing with my BP husband's stuff. It seems like when nada is quiet...my husband is off and the then nada is off and my husband is quiet. Or maybe I don't have the strength anymore to deal with them together. On the other side of Oz- with the BP spouse, it too is hurtful, painful and exhausting. The Bp whether they are your mother, father, sibling, spouse or friend- share common features- BP's- hurt us, use us, try to control us so we can fill in their needs, and I do believe they are also delusional.. They rob us of- self-love, self-respect, validation, and oh my they rob us of hope, they are the masters of that. I truly don't care if this is a disease, disorder and or a medical condition, it effects and hurts the people they live with or what they call giving love. I am not in any need to understand them anymore...unless it helps me heal more. I am so tired and disgusted tonight...our credit may never recover, the bills and the mess just keep on piling up....and nada asked me if I could take her to the casino tomorrow. Even if that is a place I once enjoyed...it has now been tainted.... I hope you guys are all ok...and this side of oz...is also doing well. Malinda Ps...my daughter both us tickets to go to New York for my 50th bday to see Wicked...I am seeing a whole Oz theme going on...and I am wondering who we are in all of this. I think I am Dorothy....I always had the power- just didn't quite ever get that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 --- You Guys Are THE BEST! Thank you your kind words....and best wishes. You even see things in me- I feel, but never really say to anyone. I from my heart- love you guys- and you have made such an impact in my life... Malinda In WTOAdultChildren1 , " Girlscout Cowboy " wrote: > > Hi sweetie, good work, I agree with BInk, you do sound stronger. Let us know > if we can help you come up with next steps, a plan etc. Hugs, gs > > On Sat, Jul 19, 2008 at 8:14 AM, mayalisa728 wrote: > > > ((((Hugs))) Malinda, I hear your frustration and I know what you mean > > about not wanting to understand unless it helps the person dealing > > with it. > > > > I really agree that they are delusional, in my case that is the thing > > that I deal with the most on a daily basis. They have to be, there is > > no other explanation for the behavior. Every interaction with my dad I > > have to kind of screech my brakes and try to figure out just what > > reality he's experiencing before I can respond. It's exhausting. I > > hope you enjoy Wicked, I've never seen that one. > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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