New to the Group

[Guest guest]

Jerely,

I am so glad you found us during this difficult time. The group has helped

me so much. I know you find lots of support. Let me know if I can help.

Tara

new to the group

hi, I am so glad that there are these types of groups. I wish they

would have been around 10years ago when I had my first miscarriage. I

have had 3 miscarriages, 1 beautiful up and running daughter(who just

turned 1year old in Feb) and 1 Ectopic pregnancy.

I had only found out that I was pregnant two weeks before my tube

ruptured. The doctor the day before said that everything

as " normal " i just wasnt farenough along to see baby in ultrasound.

Hmm, kind of strange since I hadn't had a period in over 2 months

but he was the Doctor. I remember seeing my daughters ultrasound

@6weeks and I could see her just fine. Yes I know i probably sound

kind of bitter, but i had been cramping(severly) and bleeding thats

why I went to doctor anyway, he should have sent me over to hospital

for more in depth ultrasound.

If anyone would like to talk please feel free to email me @

MUDJAKE2@...

I have no one close to me that has ever been through anything like

this so they really don't understand my emotiional state even now

3months later.

Sincerely, Jerelyn

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[Guest guest]

Dear TQ,

I am so sorry for you loss, but really happy you have found us all. I know

you will get lots of support here. I am always around if you need to talk.

Take care,

Tara

PS: TQ were my initals before I got married

New to the group

Hello everyone!

My name is Tq and I am new to the group. I was so relieved to find

a group to share my experiences with women that have gone through the

same ordeal. I am 22 years old and I found out that I was 5 weeks

pregnant on March 1st of this year. At first I was shocked and

confused on the thought of being pregnant, but when I thought of the

idea of giving new life to a precious newborn I became overjoyed and

immediately began planning for my baby's future. The father and I had

broke up a couple weeks prior and when I told him the news, we got

back together as a support group for each other(we're both college

students. Everything was going fine, and my doctor suggested an

transvaginal u/s because I needed to be transferred to a high risk ob

provider(I have diabetes). On March 14, the father and I went to my

u/s appointment, happy and waiting to hear my baby's heartbeat. When

I heard the baby's heartbeat I cried, then I noticed the look on the

tech's face. I asked her if everything was o.k and she reassured me

that everything was fine, she just needed the opinion of the

radiologist. I immediately began to worry because I use to work in

Ob/gyn. I kept asking questions, but I never reeived a answer. After

the u/s, they advised me to go to my Dr's office to discuss the

results. I went to my Dr's office dazed and confused. She looked at

the report and I immediately saw the pain in her face. She explained

to me that the baby was misplaced. The baby was in my left fallopian

tube instead of the uterus and my pregnancy would have to be

terminated. I cried until there were no more tears. Since I was so

early in pregnancy, surgery was avoided. I was given a shot of

methotrexate to help terminate things on March 16. Since that tearful

day, I have been grieving the loss of my baby alone. The father

became distant and unattached and the relationship fizzled. I wake up

in the middle of the night crying for the baby that I will never

hold. I hve been so depressed since this whole ordeal. I never

thought that I would be experiencing so much grief at 22.. Sorry for

the novel, but thanks for taking the time out to read my story

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[Guest guest]

Hi, welcome to our group.. I am so sorry to hear of your loss though..

We all have those ttc. again fears, I wish I could tell you that the fear

just goes away at some stage, but as the newly pg. girls here will tell you,

even after a normal pg. is confirmed, there are still some fears that carry

on... the difference is that I think you just learn to cope with them, or

accept them, maby...

The waiting is the worst.... I hate that part myself.. I am all good and

fine in the time between AF and O, but after O to AF, boy! I'm a ball of

frazzled nerves...

Let us know if there is anything we can do, or just if you need to blow of

some steam..

take care,

sonja

'Hi everyone, I am so glad I found this group, on February 12th after

7

hours in the ER I had laproscopic surgery to remove my baby from my

right tube. I have been an emotional wreck ever since. This would

have been my second pregnancy, I have a two year old little girl..

I am scared to death right now because we got the okay to try again

and we tried last week. Now the waiting game begins, which I am

terrible at. I wish we didn't have to wait until the 6th week to

find

out...'

Thanks for listening

[Guest guest]

Here's My Story in as few words as possible: My dad married my mom

over 20 years ago thinking she was perfect and wonderful, not too long

after their marriage they needed to seek counseling b/c of the

stresses in their lives, come to find out my mom had BPD. I didn't

really understand this until about 4 years ago when I entered high

school, and since then I've been researching a lot about it. My dad

and 2 older brothers wont' really talk to me about it, and I wish I

had someone to talk to about it. My friends can't believe, nor do they

understand, what I'm going through with my mom. She has refused to

accept that she has BPD. I dont' know when they stop trying

counseling, but I know they went to several counselors n they would

diagnose her with it, so she would leave and find another one, and

then they wouldn't diagnose her with it(I heard it was a hard one to

diagnose b/c many don't come across it in their practice ever). It's

very stressful, and until recently I've dealt with it, but I can't

anymore alone, so I've been trying to find a support group to talk to

when the going gets tough. I would really like to find a face-to-face

counselor to talk to or a support group to talk to face-to-face, but

so far I have been unsuccesful. I'll be attending my freshman yr of

college in the fall, an dI heard they offer free counseling, so I may

look into that as an option just when things start getting tough.

Thank you so much,

Beth

[Guest guest]

Welcome and congratulations on being way ahead of most of us. I think it is

great that you are starting college this fall (hopefully far, far away from

home??)  I've known something was wrong with my mother all my life, but it

wasn't until I went away to college that I began to come into my own that things

were suddenly more normal (I had been a little Rapunzel but without the

hair--Mom made sure it was an inch around my head so I couldn't escape my

tower).  My " weight problem "  disappeared, my hair grew out.  I finally began to

date and have friends.  It was so much better and I didn't even know about the

BPD.  I only discovered what was going once I had children and couldn't bear to

let her treat my children the way she treated me.  I've been in therapy for 3

years (where I learned about BPD) and, with the right therapist, it's very

healing.  Best wishes! Tallulah

 

 

Subject: New to the Group

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Wednesday, July 2, 2008, 3:07 AM

Here's My Story in as few words as possible: My dad married my mom

over 20 years ago thinking she was perfect and wonderful, not too long

after their marriage they needed to seek counseling b/c of the

stresses in their lives, come to find out my mom had BPD. I didn't

really understand this until about 4 years ago when I entered high

school, and since then I've been researching a lot about it. My dad

and 2 older brothers wont' really talk to me about it, and I wish I

had someone to talk to about it. My friends can't believe, nor do they

understand, what I'm going through with my mom. She has refused to

accept that she has BPD. I dont' know when they stop trying

counseling, but I know they went to several counselors n they would

diagnose her with it, so she would leave and find another one, and

then they wouldn't diagnose her with it(I heard it was a hard one to

diagnose b/c many don't come across it in their practice ever). It's

very stressful, and until recently I've dealt with it, but I can't

anymore alone, so I've been trying to find a support group to talk to

when the going gets tough. I would really like to find a face-to-face

counselor to talk to or a support group to talk to face-to-face, but

so far I have been unsuccesful. I'll be attending my freshman yr of

college in the fall, an dI heard they offer free counseling, so I may

look into that as an option just when things start getting tough.

Thank you so much,

Beth

[Guest guest]

hello. if you want your daughter to cooperate, you should probably

put the therapy in terms of your issues. like, " daughter, i have

issues and the therapist was wondering if you could give an

independent evaluation of me so that he can better understand my

issues. "

bps seem to love fixing sane people.

bink

>

> I have only recently discovered the BPD diagnosis. I now know that

I

> am the daughter of a BP, the ex-wife of a BP (after 30 years of

> marriage) and the mother of a BP. To have discovered Dr. Friedel's

> book " BPD Demystified " and " SWOE " and its workbook represents a

shock

> wave in my life. I cried as I read these books - 20 years too late

> for me to help my 26 year old daughter. I am amazed that I got out

> of my previous marriage with any of my own sanity intact. I am

> amazed that I survived my childhood with any of my own sanity

> intact. I am distressed at how little help I have received from

> mental health professionals all these years. I went to a new

> therapist in April (after having given up on therapy a decade ago)

> and this marvelous woman finally made the comment 4 weeks ago that

> she thought both my daughter and my ex-husband might be BPDs. A

> search on the Internet led me to four books which I am gradually

> working my way through, and to mental health professionals who

> specialize in BPD. AND Dr. Friedel says he can do an evaluation of

> my daughter himself!!! I don't know if my daughter will cooperate

> fully but at least I am starting to get an understanding of what is

> going on with her. I need to join the group for parents of BPs as

> soon as I can figure out which one that is. I am so glad that all

of

> you are out there to help me understand how to cope with BPs.

>

[Guest guest]

good way of putting it....

To: WTOAdultChildren1@...: i.miss.my.cupcake@...:

Mon, 4 Aug 2008 22:03:03 +0000Subject: Re: New to the group

hello. if you want your daughter to cooperate, you should probably put the

therapy in terms of your issues. like, " daughter, i have issues and the

therapist was wondering if you could give an independent evaluation of me so

that he can better understand my issues. " bps seem to love fixing sane

people.bink>> I have only recently discovered the BPD diagnosis. I now know that I >

am the daughter of a BP, the ex-wife of a BP (after 30 years of > marriage) and

the mother of a BP. To have discovered Dr. Friedel's > book " BPD Demystified "

and " SWOE " and its workbook represents a shock > wave in my life. I cried as I

read these books - 20 years too late > for me to help my 26 year old daughter. I

am amazed that I got out > of my previous marriage with any of my own sanity

intact. I am > amazed that I survived my childhood with any of my own sanity >

intact. I am distressed at how little help I have received from > mental health

professionals all these years. I went to a new > therapist in April (after

having given up on therapy a decade ago) > and this marvelous woman finally made

the comment 4 weeks ago that > she thought both my daughter and my ex-husband

might be BPDs. A > search on the Internet led me to four books which I am

gradually > working my way through, and to mental health professionals who >

specialize in BPD. AND Dr. Friedel says he can do an evaluation of > my daughter

himself!!! I don't know if my daughter will cooperate > fully but at least I am

starting to get an understanding of what is > going on with her. I need to join

the group for parents of BPs as > soon as I can figure out which one that is. I

am so glad that all of > you are out there to help me understand how to cope

with BPs.>

_________________________________________________________________

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