Understanding Oz....or maybe just us

[Guest guest]

I am seeing so much....and realizing I will never really understand

the bp's in my life. I have spent so much of the last 5 years of my

life first exploring my relationship with nada and now my husband.

I think my brain has finally caught up to my heart....and I cannot

and will never see the world through the eyes of a bp, nor will they

see through my eyes. I now see it doesn't even matter what they think,

and feel. It matters how I react and deal with them, in terms of

keeping me healthy and strong.

I am reading the book- Loving the Self-Absorbed, already read-

Children of the Self-Absorbed. I thought..hmmmm another book to deal

with a BP in my life....and then I thought.....hmmm when was the last

time either of the bp's in my life would read a book to help them

better understand me, or deal healthier with their lives....I know

foolish thinking on my part- because they are not a part of the problem.

I think about this whole Oz concept....and I know that going to

Oz, only really happened in Dorothy's dream. I read once we are really

everyone in our dreams. If that is true, then maybe we were all Dorothy

once, and each of the characters, she meets along the way are the

pieces she was missing- a heart, brain and courage. Not because she

chooses to be that way, but because she was robbed of those pieces- and

she thinks that only the great wizard can make her whole. The great

wizard I feel represents the bp in our lives if we can only get to them-

understand them- reach them- we somehow will be complete.

Of course Dorothy eventually gets it....the Bp/ wizard can't

give her the missing pieces of her life...though until she exposes him

for who he is, he plays this game with her- that she isn't even worthy

of having those missing pieces.

My goodness- I get that. I do feel that I am or I should say was

missing parts of my brain, and heart after dealing with the BP's in my

life, and it takes alot of courage to get that I must look deep inside

of me to get what I was searching for.....the big difference between

Dorothy and all of us..this was just her dream- this is our lives.

So today...is a new day for me to better love and understand

me, not them....I hope and for all of us it is a new day to heal and

love ourselves more completely.

malinda