what i want from mom

[Guest guest]

ok, i have been thinking about this for a while. what exactly do i

want from mom. i was constrasting my relationship with my dad to my

relationship with my mom. dad is in no way, shape, or form perfect.

there have been several issues between us. somehow, though, we have a

really good relationship. so this is my analysis and the goals i have

for reestablishing communication with mom.

1. ASSUME AN ATTITUDE OF GOODWILL WHEN DEALING WITH FAMILY MEMBERS (at

least).

basically, mom assumes everyone is out to get her. this is immature

and destructive.

2. BE ABLE TO VISUALIZE HOW HER BEHAVIOR WILL AFFECT SOMEONE ELSE.

we've got some serious POV issues. she can't see things from other

peoples' points of view at all.

3. BE ABLE TO TAKE CRITICISM ABOUT BEHAVIOR AND NOT TAKE IT AS

CRITICISM ABOUT MOM AS A HUMAN

this is the reason my dad and i have a good relationship. when i

say, " dad, when you did xyz, that was really shitty, " he doesn't

say, " YOU KNOW WHAT! YOU'RE RIGHT! YOU'RE ALWAYS RIGHT! I AM SUCH A

HORRIBLE FATHER! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! " i mean, if dad did that, i

would be like, wow...um...did you just grow a pair...of ovaries? wtf?

he says, " oh, that was shitty. i'm sorry, i'll do better in the

future. " NO DRAMA!

i know that these are the biggest issues with bp, but maybe just

itemizing them will help others. i have a big issue with psychobabble,

and these seem pretty explicit.