Guest guest Posted August 7, 2008 Report Share Posted August 7, 2008 i missed a friend's wedding because i was sick and i have major regret about not being there. i mean, i was feeling like DEATH, but i still wanted to go. i can't imagine how bad i would feel about missing a funeral due to manipulation from my mom. i would have regret AND anger. GAH CRAZY MOMS SUCK! bink > > This is another long story, as so many are. When I first got going > in my career I rented a room from a couple. I lived in thier room for > about 2 years, and we became friends. This couple lives about 1/2 hour > from my grandparents. I know live about 6 hours from them. > > Unfortunately, the husband of the couple with whom I lived passed away > Monday. His service is Saturday, and I am trying to decide what to do. > > I got a call from my mom today to tell me that he passed away. She > said that my grandfather's birthday is also on Saturday and if I wanted > I could either take the train to my mom's house or drive to my mom's > house and then we could go together to my grandparent's area--both to > grandfather's birthday party, me to the funeral. Driving to her house > would be about two hours out of my way. In one way I feel this is a > generous offer--to pick me up at the train. In another way I feel like > it's manipulation. I am anxious that if I tell her no she will be > upset with me. > > My in-laws also live in the same town as my grandparents, so I would > want to see them, too. I'm pretty sure this would be upsetting to my > mom. > > It all just seems so crazy to me: I want to decide what I want or need > and not care about anyone else. BUt it's so difficult to me. I don't > want to not go to the funeral becuase of family issues, either. > > Also it bugs me that plans for a birthday party can be made on Thursday > for Saturday--I live a long ways away. That is so hard for me to get > there! > > So, I'm just wanting the courage to do what I want or need without > worrying about everyone else. > > I really just needed someone to listen, so thanks. Just writing this > helps a lot. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 I think that's a fairly normal request since you live so far away , to ask to see you and have you attend together. I wouldn't miss it. And I think that once and awhile you just bite the bullet...you know? > > This is another long story, as so many are. When I first got going > in my career I rented a room from a couple. I lived in thier room for > about 2 years, and we became friends. This couple lives about 1/2 hour > from my grandparents. I know live about 6 hours from them. > > Unfortunately, the husband of the couple with whom I lived passed away > Monday. His service is Saturday, and I am trying to decide what to do. > > I got a call from my mom today to tell me that he passed away. She > said that my grandfather's birthday is also on Saturday and if I wanted > I could either take the train to my mom's house or drive to my mom's > house and then we could go together to my grandparent's area--both to > grandfather's birthday party, me to the funeral. Driving to her house > would be about two hours out of my way. In one way I feel this is a > generous offer--to pick me up at the train. In another way I feel like > it's manipulation. I am anxious that if I tell her no she will be > upset with me. > > My in-laws also live in the same town as my grandparents, so I would > want to see them, too. I'm pretty sure this would be upsetting to my > mom. > > It all just seems so crazy to me: I want to decide what I want or need > and not care about anyone else. BUt it's so difficult to me. I don't > want to not go to the funeral becuase of family issues, either. > > Also it bugs me that plans for a birthday party can be made on Thursday > for Saturday--I live a long ways away. That is so hard for me to get > there! > > So, I'm just wanting the courage to do what I want or need without > worrying about everyone else. > > I really just needed someone to listen, so thanks. Just writing this > helps a lot. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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