(No subject)

[Guest guest]

OH. MY. GOD.

i think that not getting into that program was probably the best

thing that ever happened to you. can you imagine, with the knowledge

that bpd gets worse with age and your mom's current treatment of you,

what kind of hell it would be to take care of her in her old age?

sooooooooooo terrifying!

stick with biology! and there's a terrible shortage of engineers

(and a SUPER shortage of female engineers), so if you want easy

scholarship money, just declare a double major and they will

literally THROW scholarship money at you. this is what my little

sister is doing (she wants to be a biomedical engineer so she can

make cyborgs...i think i read too many comic books around her).

and while it may be hard right now, you can thank your lucky stars

that you are tenatious enough to fund your own college education.

can you imagine how long she would hold that over your head? all

these insults and calling you a loser and telling you you're retarded

is just her trying to keep you enmeshed and in line. she doesn't

want you to find yourself because that means that you will look at

her and the way she has treated you and LEAVE.

the thing you'll have to watch out for now is that she will be

jealous because you are doing the things YOU want to do instead of

the things that would be useful to her. she will try to undermine

your decisions. she will try to convince you that you are not good

enough to go into the hard sciences. DO. NOT. LISTEN. not only

can you do it, but i can tell from your letters that you are so

frustrated with not having a degree yet that you WILL succeed.

it's also great that you're so young! you're 22 and figuring this

stuff out. i recommend getting a therapist who is familiar with

BPD. it completely blew my mind the first time i told my therapist

about my mom and he said, " wow, she was completely out of control. "

i went in thinking that i would have to prove my case, but therapists

can tell when people are sincere. it sounds like you've got some

pretty major negative self-talk, and i think it would probably be

very beneficial to talk to someone who can validate your emotions and

experience. universities usually have psychological services for

free or a reduced rate. if you're attending one, get signed up.

bink

>

> Thanks for all the helpful responses from my previous post. I

> actually don't want to be a nurse. My mom has the ideas of what I

> should be doing as far as a career goes. She always said that I

> should be a piano teacher or a nurse so I can take care of her and

my

> dad when they get older. I tried the the whole piano teacher thing

> and hated it! It turned out that I had most the classes done for a

RN

> degree so that's why I applied to get into a program which was a lpn

> to rn bridge. I really want to finish my degree in biology and that

> is what I think I'm going to do. Biology is my original major.

>

> It frustrates me how obsessed she is with my lack of degree but she

> refuses to help me with my college education. It's hard to finish

in

> 4 years when you're trying to support yourself and pay for school

much

> less find the time for school. I'm jealous of my friends that have

> parents that help them with finances while they're in school. My

dad

> makes plenty of money but my nada spends it in large amounts

frequently.

>