waiting for the other shoe to drop phenomenon

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone, I'm trying to address this core belief that I have that

when things seem to be going ok--LOOK OUT: you're in for a surprise.

Today, that panicky feeling was triggered by an attempted delivery

notice for a certified letter from a " Law Office. " Well, it could be

that we have some old, unpaid bill or that there was identity theft, I

suppose . . .or it could be related to one of the legal battles going

on in my extended family . . . or it could be some NC members of the

extended BPD clan coming back to haunt us . . .or it could be

something totally innocuous. I won't know until tomorrow when I pick

up the letter.

But when I first got the delivery notice, I was freaking out. I just

had this feeling like, " Ahh. . .everything's been so calm. Things

have been ok, they're ok at work, my DH just got his immigration stuff

settled, etc. etc. " It's like I have this fundamental belief that

things just can't be OK.

I'm thinking that this is largely because I come from a BP family in

which things were often blowing up or chaotic. My nada could put us

in economic trouble or spend us into debt or threaten my dad's ability

to support us with relative ease and it seemed we were always on the

verge of a downfall. . .Maybe in the real world, the sh*t doesn't hit

the fan quite so often?

I mean, I know bad things can happen, but it's like I've got this

frustrating programing that says they WILL happen and when they do,

you'll be alone and dependent upon your hideous, abusing family for

mercy. . .end of the world, and so on.

Sigh!

Trish