tearing people apart when you leave the room (was What in your BPD world...)

[Guest guest]

Deanna and Lynette (and all)--the tearing apart of family members gets

to me still. It's so weird and systematic. After every family get

together, my nada will pick apart everyone there.

What's even worse is the way that my nada and brothers are so used to

this phenomenon that they don't even realize that regular people don't

do that. So once, an aunt didn't show up to a family get together and

they just started talking about her AT the gathering. I was freaking

out but no one said anything. It was surreal.

Trish

> >

> > seemed " normal " at the time but now you realized is just FREAKIN'

> > MAD????

> >

> > 1) Every family gathering, as we drove home, tearing apart everyone

> we

> > just spent time with. My mother would ask me what I spoke about

> with

> > so and so (who she saw me talking to). This was the only time she

> was

> > ever interested in what I had to say, so I liked the attention. For

> > years, I assumed that everyone ripped everyone to shreds when they

> > left the room.

> >

> > 2) Getting yelled at over minor things, like when the traffic is bad

> > or when she feels you've been in the shower too long.

> >

> > 3) The words " I love you " being meaningless. Knowing you're forced

> to

> > say them anyway.

> >

> > 4) Being ignored when you're hurt.

> >

> > 5) Being laughed at when you fail.

> >

> > 6) Never being played with by your parents.

> >

> > 7) Being looked at with hate.

> >

> > 8) Being on your own for everything: playing, emotional problems,

> > support of any kind, no help with homework.

> >

> > 9) Watching mother have FIXABLE problems which she refused to fix.

> > Like keeping the trash where the dog could get it and yelling at him

> > for getting into it when you throw turkey in there. She refused to

> > bend on this, to put the trash under the sink. She felt she was THE

> > BOSS of the dog and he would DO AS SHE SAID. She completely could

> not

> > get that he was simply doing what was in his nature. He was NOT

> BAD.

> >

>