Guest guest Posted September 23, 2008 Report Share Posted September 23, 2008 I don't know -- maybe it is better for her to move out if he wont even listen to you. I know that you want her to be secure and have lots of $$$ to move out with but sometimes when you don't have a lot it makes a person stronger and creates character for later in life. I look back at what I used to live on when I moved out at 17 and I can't believe I was able to survive ($550 per month is what I made)! But honestly, I never went without anything important and I certainly appreciate all that I have now. I ate Top Ramen for 3 years straight though!! LOL > > > > > > > > > > How controlling can a father get? My 20 year old daughter lives at > home. She is a very good person who has never given us an ounce of > trouble. She is loved by everyone we know. People have told me that > if they had a daughter they would want one like her. Yet she has to > put up with a complete lack of privacy. When she is not home her > father seaches through her drawers! She can't even hide something in > her underware drawer because he seaches that too! Needless to say she > is moving out. She dosn't have the money but she is better off out of > this house. I feel so angry that he puts her through this. It is a > complete breach of trust between father and daughter. > > > > > > Recent Activity > > * 7 > > New MembersVisit Your Group > > Give Back > > Yahoo! for Good > > Get inspired > > by a good cause. > > Y! Toolbar > > Get it Free! > > easy 1-click access > > to your groups. > > Yahoo! Groups > > Start a group > > in 3 easy steps. > > Connect with others. > > . > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 23, 2008 Report Share Posted September 23, 2008 He is out of control with paranoia. If the girl has never given him cause to distrust her then you need to ask him specifically why he is so obsessive.. I agree that she needs to get away from him, but neither you nor she should expect that this behavior will in any way stop once she is out of the house. In fact it may escalate. Re: Breach of Privacy I don't know -- maybe it is better for her to move out if he wont even listen to you. I know that you want her to be secure and have lots of $$$ to move out with but sometimes when you don't have a lot it makes a person stronger and creates character for later in life. I look back at what I used to live on when I moved out at 17 and I can't believe I was able to survive ($550 per month is what I made)! But honestly, I never went without anything important and I certainly appreciate all that I have now. I ate Top Ramen for 3 years straight though!! LOL > > > > > > > > > > How controlling can a father get? My 20 year old daughter lives at > home. She is a very good person who has never given us an ounce of > trouble. She is loved by everyone we know. People have told me that > if they had a daughter they would want one like her. Yet she has to > put up with a complete lack of privacy. When she is not home her > father seaches through her drawers! She can't even hide something in > her underware drawer because he seaches that too! Needless to say she > is moving out. She dosn't have the money but she is better off out of > this house. I feel so angry that he puts her through this. It is a > complete breach of trust between father and daughter. > > > > > > Recent Activity > > * 7 > > New MembersVisit Your Group > > Give Back > > Yahoo! for Good > > Get inspired > > by a good cause. > > Y! Toolbar > > Get it Free! > > easy 1-click access > > to your groups. > > Yahoo! Groups > > Start a group > > in 3 easy steps. > > Connect with others. > > . > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2008 Report Share Posted September 24, 2008 It's tragic that her first 20 years of life were spent being victimized by this man. Other people's fine opinions of her are not his concern. It makes me sad that she's endured this long. -Kyla > > > > > How controlling can a father get? My 20 year old daughter lives at home. She is a very good person who has never given us an ounce of trouble. She is loved by everyone we know. People have told me that if they had a daughter they would want one like her. Yet she has to put up with a complete lack of privacy. When she is not home her father seaches through her drawers! She can't even hide something in her underware drawer because he seaches that too! Needless to say she is moving out. She dosn't have the money but she is better off out of this house. I feel so angry that he puts her through this. It is a complete breach of trust between father and daughter. > > > Recent Activity > * 7 > New MembersVisit Your Group > Give Back > Yahoo! for Good > Get inspired > by a good cause. > Y! Toolbar > Get it Free! > easy 1-click access > to your groups. > Yahoo! Groups > Start a group > in 3 easy steps. > Connect with others. > . > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2008 Report Share Posted September 24, 2008 WHy have you put up with him treating your daughter that way, then dismissing you? She's going to go out into the world thinking she deserves treatment like that. I hope she's getting counseling. My wish for her is to get out and save herself from his authoritarian rule. > > > > > > > > > > How controlling can a father get? My 20 year old daughter lives at > home. She is a very good person who has never given us an ounce of > trouble. She is loved by everyone we know. People have told me that > if they had a daughter they would want one like her. Yet she has to > put up with a complete lack of privacy. When she is not home her > father seaches through her drawers! She can't even hide something in > her underware drawer because he seaches that too! Needless to say she > is moving out. She dosn't have the money but she is better off out of > this house. I feel so angry that he puts her through this. It is a > complete breach of trust between father and daughter. > > > > > > Recent Activity > > * 7 > > New MembersVisit Your Group > > Give Back > > Yahoo! for Good > > Get inspired > > by a good cause. > > Y! Toolbar > > Get it Free! > > easy 1-click access > > to your groups. > > Yahoo! Groups > > Start a group > > in 3 easy steps. > > Connect with others. > > . > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 26, 2008 Report Share Posted September 26, 2008 Me, too! Who knows how many lives have been saved by Ramen!! LOL! I can echo your sentiments about living on nothing, but having your freedom. I was the same way. When I left my parents' house, I swear the air smelled sweeter, food tasted better! Seriously -- The feeling of walking in to my OWN space (even if I had just rented a room from someone, it would have felt the same) -- free to live out from under the tyranny of my mother -- the feeling was indescribable. FREEDOM. I was broke, but I didn't care. (I ate a lot of eggs!) You're so right: you learn a lot about yourself in those circumstances! -Kyla > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > How controlling can a father get? My 20 year old daughter lives at > > home. She is a very good person who has never given us an ounce of > > trouble. She is loved by everyone we know. People have told me that > > if they had a daughter they would want one like her. Yet she has to > > put up with a complete lack of privacy. When she is not home her > > father seaches through her drawers! She can't even hide something in > > her underware drawer because he seaches that too! Needless to say she > > is moving out. She dosn't have the money but she is better off out of > > this house. I feel so angry that he puts her through this. It is a > > complete breach of trust between father and daughter. > > > > > > > > > Recent Activity > > > * 7 > > > New MembersVisit Your Group > > > Give Back > > > Yahoo! for Good > > > Get inspired > > > by a good cause. > > > Y! Toolbar > > > Get it Free! > > > easy 1-click access > > > to your groups. > > > Yahoo! Groups > > > Start a group > > > in 3 easy steps. > > > Connect with others. > > > . > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 26, 2008 Report Share Posted September 26, 2008 Have a key lock installed on your daughter's bedroom door until she moved out. Tell your husband this is necessary for her privacy as she is an adult and has the right to privacy! Joan wrote: He dismisses me as if I'm just trying to make trouble. Re: Breach of Privacy Have you tried talking to him? What does he say about that? > > > > > How controlling can a father get? My 20 year old daughter lives at home. She is a very good person who has never given us an ounce of trouble. She is loved by everyone we know. People have told me that if they had a daughter they would want one like her. Yet she has to put up with a complete lack of privacy. When she is not home her father seaches through her drawers! She can't even hide something in her underware drawer because he seaches that too! Needless to say she is moving out. She dosn't have the money but she is better off out of this house. I feel so angry that he puts her through this. It is a complete breach of trust between father and daughter. > > > Recent Activity > * 7 > New MembersVisit Your Group > Give Back > Yahoo! for Good > Get inspired > by a good cause. > Y! Toolbar > Get it Free! > easy 1-click access > to your groups. > Yahoo! Groups > Start a group > in 3 easy steps. > Connect with others. > . > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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