I'm new here

[Guest guest]

, since you are so young, I'm hoping that you might be able to

pinpoint something that may have triggered this problem such as antibiotic

use, drastic change in diet, surgery etc?

in MI

> I just joined here. I am 19, from wisconsin, and i was just

> diagnosed with vulvodynia by my gynecologist. I tried amitryptiline,

> but it didn't work.. i haven't been to a specialist yet or

> anything... i just wanted to say hi

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, ! Nice to " meet " you, although we all wish

you (and none of the rest of us!) had to be here.

I hope you find someone soon who has a lot of

experience treating vulvodynia. It's an incredibly

complicated problem. But you already know that, I'll

bet!

Please keep in touch.

Suzy

--- amandaschlicher wrote:

> I just joined here. I am 19, from wisconsin, and i

> was just

> diagnosed with vulvodynia by my gynecologist. I

> tried amitryptiline,

> but it didn't work.. i haven't been to a specialist

> yet or

> anything... i just wanted to say hi

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I'm 19,too. Elavil didn't work for me either. You should find a

specialist soon.

Ruth

> I just joined here. I am 19, from wisconsin, and i was just

> diagnosed with vulvodynia by my gynecologist. I tried

amitryptiline,

> but it didn't work.. i haven't been to a specialist yet or

> anything... i just wanted to say hi

>

>

[Guest guest]

I'm an adult child of a BPD mother. I only recently found out about

BPD and the more I read, the more I realized that my mother is a

classic BPD. I have 3 younger brothers who have each coped with this

in their own ways. It is with my youngest brother and his wife that I

have learned to understand that I am not crazy nor am I imagining

things. I bought several books on the subject, from " The Borderline

Mother " to " Walking on Eggshells " and the companion work book. I gave

my brother one of the books and when we get together it seems that

part of our healing is coming from validating each other's experiences

of our mother and venting (getting it out of our systems). IN that

sense i feel truly blessed, to have at least one brother who is

familiar with our mother and does not try to candy coat things or

whitewash the past like my other two brother's do. On the other hand,

I hope that someday we can learn to cope with our mother in a healthy

way that allows us to interact with her without feeling like crap

afterward.

It is sad and I have longings for a real relationship with her that is

loving and true...but I can only move forward and give my 3 amazing

children (2 girls and a boy) the kind of mother i wish i had...and

just love them unconditionally.

I have a lot to learn here...I've just started using the work book. It

won't be easy. I have not spoken to my mother since October except for

some cordial conversation when my daughter had to have stitches in her

forehead and a brief moment at a family reunion in July. I don't know

what to say to her. I feel at a loss because i don't trust her and

don't believe anything she says. She changes like the weather. She

lies. She manipulates me and my brothers, her own siblings, her ex

husbands and even her grandchildren. She hates her daughter in laws

(all 3), and has bad relations with women in general. I wish i could

confide in her and trust her as she is my mother, but I cannot. I

never have been able to, I learned that early on. I do have a

wonderful step-mother who is truly sweet and trustworthy and because

of her example, I feel I have been able to be a different person than

I might have been without her influence. I have made mistakes as a

mother, but i catch myself and recognize them before i make them

again. It's hard to do things differently, but being aware is half the

battle. Also, having loving people and good examples and supportive

friends and family is extremely important. In that way I am blessed.

And my children are so loved and taken care of. I can never imagine

doing what my mother did to me...pitting them against each other,

picking favorites, telling each one a different version of the same

" truth " ...I treasure each of my children equally and with all my

heart. I recognize their individuality and praise them all for their

strengths and goodness. I know I'm doing a good job, because they are

all doing well in their lives, school, friendships and with each other.

I hope to learn more about coping with this mother that I've been

given and healing from the experience of being a child of a BPD.

Sincerely, J.S.

[Guest guest]

Welcome to the group.

It appears that you have a great, appropriate step-mom that you are close to.

I think you are very lucky in this aspect, to have someone assume a some-what

mother role in your life that is positive. It is great that you recognize your

mother's illness and have changed the dynamic between you and your kids.

I have found this group to be very validating and the similarities between

everyone's borderline parent are unreal. It is difficult to accept, but your

mother may not be capable of assuming the role of mother and having an

appropriate relationship with you and your kids/husband. This is what a lot of

us struggle with on this board.

julezzzzz wrote:

I'm an adult child of a BPD mother. I only recently found out about

BPD and the more I read, the more I realized that my mother is a

classic BPD. I have 3 younger brothers who have each coped with this

in their own ways. It is with my youngest brother and his wife that I

have learned to understand that I am not crazy nor am I imagining

things. I bought several books on the subject, from " The Borderline

Mother " to " Walking on Eggshells " and the companion work book. I gave

my brother one of the books and when we get together it seems that

part of our healing is coming from validating each other's experiences

of our mother and venting (getting it out of our systems). IN that

sense i feel truly blessed, to have at least one brother who is

familiar with our mother and does not try to candy coat things or

whitewash the past like my other two brother's do. On the other hand,

I hope that someday we can learn to cope with our mother in a healthy

way that allows us to interact with her without feeling like crap

afterward.

It is sad and I have longings for a real relationship with her that is

loving and true...but I can only move forward and give my 3 amazing

children (2 girls and a boy) the kind of mother i wish i had...and

just love them unconditionally.

I have a lot to learn here...I've just started using the work book. It

won't be easy. I have not spoken to my mother since October except for

some cordial conversation when my daughter had to have stitches in her

forehead and a brief moment at a family reunion in July. I don't know

what to say to her. I feel at a loss because i don't trust her and

don't believe anything she says. She changes like the weather. She

lies. She manipulates me and my brothers, her own siblings, her ex

husbands and even her grandchildren. She hates her daughter in laws

(all 3), and has bad relations with women in general. I wish i could

confide in her and trust her as she is my mother, but I cannot. I

never have been able to, I learned that early on. I do have a

wonderful step-mother who is truly sweet and trustworthy and because

of her example, I feel I have been able to be a different person than

I might have been without her influence. I have made mistakes as a

mother, but i catch myself and recognize them before i make them

again. It's hard to do things differently, but being aware is half the

battle. Also, having loving people and good examples and supportive

friends and family is extremely important. In that way I am blessed.

And my children are so loved and taken care of. I can never imagine

doing what my mother did to me...pitting them against each other,

picking favorites, telling each one a different version of the same

" truth " ...I treasure each of my children equally and with all my

heart. I recognize their individuality and praise them all for their

strengths and goodness. I know I'm doing a good job, because they are

all doing well in their lives, school, friendships and with each other.

I hope to learn more about coping with this mother that I've been

given and healing from the experience of being a child of a BPD.

Sincerely, J.S.

[Guest guest]

Welcome to the group.  Your mother isn't likely to change and/or ever become

what a nother should be, but I see many other blessings in your life.  Through

this board, your sil's and your step-mom, keep yourself surrounded in

sisterhood.  It's amazing how strong women are and how the support from them can

make all the difference.  I feel slightly hypocritical saying that, because I've

just started to let women into my life.  But what little I've allowed is such a

blesssing and I'm doing my best to allow others in.

 

Take Care Of You,

JaneSoul

I'm new here

I'm an adult child of a BPD mother. I only recently found out about

BPD and the more I read, the more I realized that my mother is a

classic BPD. I have 3 younger brothers who have each coped with this

in their own ways. It is with my youngest brother and his wife that I

have learned to understand that I am not crazy nor am I imagining

things. I bought several books on the subject, from " The Borderline

Mother " to " Walking on Eggshells " and the companion work book. I gave

my brother one of the books and when we get together it seems that

part of our healing is coming from validating each other's experiences

of our mother and venting (getting it out of our systems). IN that

sense i feel truly blessed, to have at least one brother who is

familiar with our mother and does not try to candy coat things or

whitewash the past like my other two brother's do. On the other hand,

I hope that someday we can learn to cope with our mother in a healthy

way that allows us to interact with her without feeling like crap

afterward.

It is sad and I have longings for a real relationship with her that is

loving and true...but I can only move forward and give my 3 amazing

children (2 girls and a boy) the kind of mother i wish i had...and

just love them unconditionally.

I have a lot to learn here...I've just started using the work book. It

won't be easy.. I have not spoken to my mother since October except for

some cordial conversation when my daughter had to have stitches in her

forehead and a brief moment at a family reunion in July. I don't know

what to say to her. I feel at a loss because i don't trust her and

don't believe anything she says. She changes like the weather. She

lies. She manipulates me and my brothers, her own siblings, her ex

husbands and even her grandchildren. She hates her daughter in laws

(all 3), and has bad relations with women in general. I wish i could

confide in her and trust her as she is my mother, but I cannot. I

never have been able to, I learned that early on. I do have a

wonderful step-mother who is truly sweet and trustworthy and because

of her example, I feel I have been able to be a different person than

I might have been without her influence. I have made mistakes as a

mother, but i catch myself and recognize them before i make them

again. It's hard to do things differently, but being aware is half the

battle. Also, having loving people and good examples and supportive

friends and family is extremely important. In that way I am blessed.

And my children are so loved and taken care of. I can never imagine

doing what my mother did to me...pitting them against each other,

picking favorites, telling each one a different version of the same

" truth " ...I treasure each of my children equally and with all my

heart. I recognize their individuality and praise them all for their

strengths and goodness. I know I'm doing a good job, because they are

all doing well in their lives, school, friendships and with each other.

I hope to learn more about coping with this mother that I've been

given and healing from the experience of being a child of a BPD.

Sincerely, J.S.