Withdrawal history and doing it right (with response)

[Guest guest]

Hi All: In November, 2002, after a 6 year daily addiction to crystal meth, I

was diagnosed

bipolar and was told that I was self-medicating ADD with the meth. The

psychiatrist knew

at the time of the diagnosis that I was on crystal meth and had a history of

addiction.

(Everyone who is on crystal meth is bipolar). He promised me that if I took his

drugs, I

would get off the crystal. I was desperate. The cocktail included Lamictal 400

mg.,

Risperdal 3 mg, Effexor (don't remember how much), Adderall 120 mg., Klonopin 1

mg,

and Xanax 4 mg prn. At some point I switched Effexor with Cymbalta, I am now on

30 mg.

of Cymbalta.

I continued to smoke crystal meth and take all these meds. I was quite a mess.

About 3

1/2 years ago a friend died, and I finally quit the meth. The cocktail of psych

meds turned

me into a zombie. I could not function, could not go out in the world, could

not work, and

I was terribly unhappy. I came to believe that it was the meds that were making

my life so

miserable.

Last December, I started tapering: first, the Risperdal, which over the six

years I had been

on it had been tapered to 1 mg. I went off of the 1 mg. in about 3 months.

Then 400 mg.

Lamictal was tapered from March to July. I was feeling very imbalanced at this

point,

because I felt that the stimulants, which I switched to Dexedrine, were very

strong and

making me manic and anxious. I felt like I had to lower the dose quickly

because I

couldn't handle it, so I went from about 80 mg. to about 30 mg. The reason I

say " about "

is because I would use different amounts depending on how I felt. Throughout

the day, I

would use Dexedrine and Xanax in an attempt to manipulate my arousal level....a

little up,

then a little down, a little up, etc. In other words, I didn't take my morning

medication and

that was it. I tried to feel " normal " as much as possible during the day with

the pills.

I couldn't do it anymore, as it was incredibly exhausting. I went to an

" addiction " shrink at

the end of August. We switched out the Dexedrine for Concerta. So now I am

supposed to

take 1 36 mg. tablet twice daily. (72 mg.) And we're going to do that for 10

days, and then

drop it to 1 36 mg. once daily for 10 days. We dropped the Xanax and I am

taking 2 mg.

Klonopin.

Ok, so I feel very insane. What does that mean? I don't know, racing thoughts,

anxious,

moody, irritable, angry, severely depressed, crying. Completely all over the

place. Too

much energy, then sometimes I can't get out of bed. I really want to cold

turkey on the

stimulants. I feel like this is torture. I feel like I would rather not be

awake to experience

the extreme discomfort of what is going on. So I'm not sure if I am still

suffering from the

Risperdal Lamictal w/drawal or if this is just the w/drawal of the stims. I

could be taking

more vitamins, but don't have the money.

Does all this sound right? Keep going forward, or? Any help is appreciated.

** Bottom line -- do not discontinue or reduce any drugs right now. We'll

talk.

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